I have heard mentioned here that people are using "divorce mediator" vs using a lawyer. Not that it matters in my case as my divorce will be final shortly, but I was wondering if you could tell me what the difference is (besides money) and if this is legally something people getting divorced should consider before seeing an attorney.<P>Thanks.

TL, we're using 'collaborative family law' here in Ohio for our dissolution, but it's as long as we agree on everything. So far, so good.<P>From what I understand, a mediator is shared by both of you and helps you come to an agreement to terms (just in case you and your spouse aren't best buddies like my W and I...pfft). Everything is put in writing so that you can then start the process of retaining a lawyer for a dissolution (or some similar form of agreement) because all of your differences were resolved by sitting in front of the mediator.<P>That's my understanding...I happen to still believe in the tooth fairy though...<P>theo<P>

TL,<P>My H and I worked out our divorce details without a lawyer. Once we had everything pretty much worked out, I went and filed. A mediator just keeps things running smooth and helps prevent adversarial divorces. It keeps things less "nasty" for want of a better word.<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Tired Lady,<P>First let me say I read the LONG post regarding you and your STBX on the general site and my heart goes out to you. I didn't bother responding on that thread, but I am thinking of you.<P>Second, this is how it works in my state. A lawyer, you pay to represent you in the divorce. A mediator, works for the county. He sits in with both your and your ex's lawyers and they mediate back and forth and negotiate the divorce.<P>According to our case, our mediator said only 30% of all divorces actually go to trial. Many are settled before the mediating stage, or at the mediating stage. Those that go on, are for large sums of money and extremely complicated cases.<P>This saves both parties a lot of money and time, by negotiating.<P>In my case, My rotten ex, sued me for divorce, got all the way thru 3 mediations and now he withdrew his case. Now I am counter suing him and we WILL be going to trial. <P>Our mediator said this is ridiculous and the law is the law, and my ex is gonna wind up paying half of the debt regardless, so ours is a wasted trip to trial.<P>Hope this helps,<BR>Dana<BR>

Thanks everyone for the responses. Anyone know what the law is for use of mediators in the State of California?