I was injuried at work and have been unable to work since may. Ive have back surgery , a major fusion of the spine but the pain has increased. The insurance company is already said the claim was legitamite but still insist on screwing with us, we started remodeling before the accident and cant finish so the house is decorated in Urban Ghetto style, we had started to try and have children when this happened, my wifes father, who lives in another country came down with cancer and we cant afford to go see him, and all the doctors have said I wont be able to return to my old proffesion because it is to physically demanding for my condition, that is if my condition improves and I ever get released to work, My wife gets upset cause she cant help releave the pain im in, If I can sleep I only get about 2-3 hours sleep a night, we cant go anywhere cause of my pain, the bills are mounting up, I am very depressed and moody, we argue about little things , she feels like she is doing everything wrong and I feel like she is always mad with me , neither of us know what to do, we love each other very much but this is really hard to deal with. Ive tried seeing a therapist with no luck, they are either not seeing new patients or cant get me in until after xmas. Except one who actually forgot the appointment, then tried to bill me and the inusrance company for it. I sometimes just cry and feel like dying cause the pain and stress is so bad. I see what it is doing to my wife and I cant fix it. I dont know what to do

idontknow<p>I'm answering you, not because I have a solution but because you haven't been answered and I can se that your case is indeed desparate.<br>Are you affiliated with a church? It sounds like you need someone to help out and maybe give you guys a breather of some sort. My father, who is in his 60's, had sciatic nerve pain for almost a year before he got some real relief. It confined him to the couch (and he likes to be active) and sent him into depression. If it wasn't for my sisters who live close to him I don't know what he would have done.<br>Do you have any relatives, friends or a church around? That would be my first suggestion. Sorry it isn't more than that.

I have REALLY been there. First off you did not mention if you had a workmans comp lawyer or not. If you don't I STRONGLY suggest you get one immediately!!! Then the lawyer can deal and haggle with the insurance company who's sole interest is spending the least amount of money as possible and I can tell, as you well know, they are ruthless! They are not concerned about your welfare or the future of your family! Even with having a lawyer doesn't mean that you will get what you rightly deseve, but it does help to eleviate some of the enormous pressures that come with having an injury. 3) Since you are not going to be able to work in your career field, have they offered vocational rehabilitation? If not, then that is another thing the lawyer can do for you, by the recommendation of your doctor. As for finances, no easy answer there for sure, an injury/disabiliy can devestate your finances. You can predraw money from your intended settlement amount for your injury as I did to suppliment my diability checks, but then when my settlement finally did get paid, I had already been thru a few thousand dollars so my lump sum was very disappointing. I won't go into the chemical changes that the body goes thru with chronic pain, anxiety, stress and the GRIEVING process of losing your career and financial income, but I can also tell you by experience that anti-depressants help emotionally and physically with the pain. Having had chronic pain for 3 years, I tried so many pain meds, alcohol etc, that nothing worked for very long. Physical therapy was out at the time, because it only caused more pain. Some back surgeries do not work, once you have a back or neck injury you may never be the same. It is only now after 4 years that I can actually go on a physical regime, other then stretching exercises I developed for myself. That does not mean there is no hope for the pain, there is, creative visualization, relaxation techniques, hypnotherapy, accupunchure, herbs, etc, that are non-traditional. You will have to find what works on your own, lots of personal research and experimenting. With the incrediable amt of concerns you have,recent surgery, coupled with the pain, your pain is most likely at it's peak point right now, when the stressors are minimized you may find you aren't in as much pain, or will learn what to do and what not to do to help yourself.Don't give up hope, please.At one point I just sort of accepted, and "turned<br>it off".It certainly plays havoc on any sexual activity or wanting to just cuddle, and your wife has needs and fears too. My husband had also gotten an injury the year earlier and fully understood what I was going thru, except he recovered better and quicker then I did. Still, he was impatient at times, and I would feel guilty. Course I was in the beginning stages of grief and felt I was going to be a total mess for ever, layed on the couch for a year in pain holding a coffee cup or magazine (neck injury). I still have days I cannot sit, for maximum comfort, I need to be able to move freeely, meaning sitting down some, walking, movement is the best thing for me, besides not lifting alot.And the winters of course aggravate injuries. There are no easy or quick answers/solutions in this journey. But if you do have a lawyer and I pray to God you do, see if you can get counseling thru the insurance company. Look into low fees for service organizations thru your community. Do you have a minister you and your wife can meet with once a week? <br>What resources are available in your community, seek and ye shall find.You would think that disabled persons organizations would have alot of resources, I did not find that to be true in my case. And I have yet to find a govt grant for the disabled to find financial resources to start my own business, (but I keep looking!)And, if you do get vocational rehab, make sure they give you the dollar amt you are asking for in YOUR time limit, not theirs. You hang in there buddy, try to find all the support you can get!!!!Also, can you get a loan to consolidate your bills, what are your options? An important thing is to try to re establish your personal power that has been taken from you. You won't seem so hopeless. JADE