I know the experts say your children shouldn't meet your dates until things get fairly serious. However, I am the perpetual question-asker and insight challenger. Therefore, I need advice.<P>My children were 2 and 4 when their dad moved out. They are now 7 and 9. They can see how their dad treats me. They're not stupid.<P>Anyway, x is supposedly getting married in Oct. I imagine he treats her fairly well. At least for now. So, my children aren't new to the concept of a dating parent.<P>They have not, in 5 years, seen me around other men in a personal relationship - I've only been around men at public or family events and those men were not members of our party (as in group). A subtle but real difference exists between being around men and with a man. Therefore, they have never seen a man treat me respectfully on a personal basis.<P>I am having problems with my 7 year old son treating me with disrespect. He should know better but he has only his father's behavior to model. But I know where his anger comes from and I just hurt so badly for him. He's suffering because of his dad's behaviour.<P>A couple of months ago I started dating again. At his request, he has met the children but it was totally as a friend. No hint of interest between us - although 9yr old daughter looked at me as if she could intuit that there was more going on that was apparent. There was no physical contact and no personal talk.<P>What is the concensus of the group on this question: Is it appropriate for me to bring them together again - in a friend context (no hand-holding, kissing, personal chatter) in order for them to see there are men who treat me with respect on a somewhat personal basis? I'm thinking of something like attending a baseball game.<P>

Boy Cinderella, <P>we do think alike.<P>My boys were 3 and 5, are now 6 and 8. And I know EXACTLY what you mean about your son treating you like your husband does, because that is what he sees - which is a reason I think its our duty to show him what a loving relationship is supposed to be like. I don't want him growing up treating women like his father did - and I want him to have a shot at being happy and productive...<P>I wouldn't want to have a line of lovers march through, but if you think he may be the one, I would introduce him, and see what develops. Read too many cases where the children and the new spouse are thrown together, and that just doesn't work. <P>I have talked with my "guy" and we both understand that if the chemistry isn't there between him and the boys, our relationship is over.<P>I think given time it is going to work out, my little one is learning how to play catch, throw a ball, fish. (their father doesn't do "typical" guy stuff) My older one is very resistant, (helped along by their father, grrrrr) but I know the greatest gift I can give him is a stable home with a positive male role model.<P>My boys see him touch me and give me hugs, and giggled catching us kissing a quick goodbye at the door. They know it is "boy/girl" but we are quite chaste around them. But he lets them know how much he cares for me - we were watching "My Dog Skip" a couple days ago - and there was a line about the little girl being the prettiest girl in town - he turned to the boys and said, "I think your mommy is the prettiest girl in town, don't you?" they shared a little giggle. <P>I think this is one of those times for both of us, that we can trust our gut feelings.<P><BR>