sorry I forget your name???<P>I am reading into your desperation, and I know you don`t want to hear this, but so is your wife.. she sees you are distraught, and want to FIX what has happnened.. (like yesterday) but you can`t.. not over night.. and so you need to back off and just be there for her in a kind way, let her feel the time alone, and then feel the guilt, and let her see you do not wish to cause her any more pain or frustration, (even though we all are just as much in pain and as frustrated as you are..)<P>I know this is the most painful and hardest thing you have ever had to endure.. I`ve been there and have now lost every chance I could have ever had, but was never given, either.. <P>It all takes such time, and most of us want things done *yesterday..* it is *all* a night mare, and we all are living proof that things will all take what ever turn it may, and we can`t stop things from happening, but we can try and make them happen with a little more grace.. <P>If you over react, she is going to over react, ten fold..<P>do nothing.. say nothing.. and *act* nonchilant.. and if she comes along, and says something to erk you.. say, ok dear.. what ever you want dear.. I love you and just want what ever makes you happy, dear... it is called kissing her deriee`..<P>she needs time and space, and if you do all of this, the time and guilt is going to catch up with her.. but NOT! RIGHT AWAY!! in time..!!! we all need such patients.. that is what is the most important thing for you right now.. <P>don`t do what I did, I wrote and wrote letter after letter, (because he wouldn`t talk to me and still doesn`t.. I get the silent treatment, after 12 yrs of marriage, and 3 yrs before that) and I drove my ex even further away.. I had no idea of this site at that time.. and I did all the wrong things.. <P><BR>read read read... and learn patients.. something (sorry) most of you men do not have.. we all loose it at some point, but us woman can out last most men in this department any time.. <P>I read about alot of men on this and other sites that have proven me wrong on patients though.. but it *is* mainly a minority!<P>any way.. I hope in *TIME* you`ll see that we can`t rush fate.. only make the best of the time we do have to improve it.. <P>hope I helped a little...<P>AV<P>
