Hi - you all seem to be a pretty tight group here, I've been lurking for awhile after moving from General Questions when it became clear that divorce was my only option if I wanted to retain my sanity.<P>I am "due soon" because I found out when I was 6 mo preg. that H was having an affair w/ a co-worker. I won't go into all of the details, but my plan A was unsucessful and I've moved myself and my 5 mo. baby to be closer to my family.<BR>My question has to do with our son. I can't seem to find an answer online or get one from one my lawyer (we are going uncontested).<BR>How much visitation does my H get ? Iv'e moved a 9 hour driving distance away. Right now he visits our son every other weekend. But eventually he is going to want him for longer periods, at his place. How do I know what is best for my son ? <BR>Anyone have any child development knowledge ? Is a couple of weeks next summer when he is over a year too much ? <BR>It is soooo difficult to resist the urge to punish my H by restricting visitation as much as possible - but that's not very fair, is it ?

In my experience and travels through cyber world, anything can happen. The court will probably award EOW to the dad, but if he really pushes it, and has been involved through the childs life, he could get much more.<P>I have seen some psychological studies that it is not good for a child under three to spend overnights with the NCP.

Another rule of thumb some family court psychologists use is no more nights away from primary parent that the child is years old. But if they start back and forth overnights before a year, shortly after separation, children seem to tolerate it quite well. <P>When there has been a break in the relationship, such as with your move-away, then they need longer time and more maturation to deal with the emotional issues of separation. Wait as long as you can, but three or four should be fine as long as he maintains frequent contact until then.