These four words decribe how I feel most of the time. I continue in Therapy but wonder if I am really making any progress.<P>In two weeks I have to go to a two hour class on how to talk with my kids concerning this divorce. What a joke in my estimation! One of those state requirments.<P>Maybe it will help but it is my belief that I am already doing one hell of a job parenting my children in what is a bad situation. <P>I am one month away from signing the papers, what fun, have not gotten the agreement from the attorneys yet so there maybe a fight forthcoming (I hope not).<P>I am just venting and I want to move on but I also want my marriage. But I have no power to make things different in marriage.

hurtinginOmaha,<P>Sounds like you could use some anti-depressants... <P>As far as having no control over anything...<BR>...that's what Plan A and plan B are there for...<BR>...to get you to focus on yourself!<P> <P>Jim

Have the anti-depressants, there are just days that are exceptionally bad. I have lots of support and plan A is where I am at it just gets hard at time!):

HIO - I remember those feelings. I had this feeling I wouldn't survive. I guess God and my children were the two things I lived for during those intervals. It does sound a lot like you are depressed and I know divorce often leads to that. It took me there twice but it was something I rebounded from once the agony was past. Had a little brush with it this past spring but it subsided with a little (ha!) prayer and recognition. <P>To be honest, I've been so low that I understood how people could kill their children and then kill themselves. Repeat, I understood how they could do it. It was NEVER an option. Repeat, NEVER an option. I have survived two accidents where I shut my eyes and waited to die. Both times I walked away. Once I was significantly injured but made a wonderful recovery. I know God has plans for me so I could not have interceded in that way. He loves me even when no one else does. <P>So, if I can make it, you can too. Don't feel like you're in the battle alone. Those of us who aren't there right now have the scars to show for having been there. Let us know when you need us. <P>By the way, I still recommend praying - even if all you can do is yell at God for allowing you to go through this. I've done it. Didn't change things but for a while that was the only way I could pray. I figure He understands.

Sorry I didn't reply earlier. I'm so darn stressed, I thought you were requesting those people to read your thread. I know, I'm in need of some sleep! <P>That describes me too, exactly and I DON'T have the meds, although I wish I did. <P>It will get better, matter of fact, it always gets REALLY REALLY bad before it gets better, so I look at it like this, there is STILL a light at the end of the tunnel.<P>Be strong, Dana<BR>