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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 91
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 91 |
After 2 weeks of Plan B my wife has agreed to sit down and talk about "us". The only plan I have is to use the reconciliation discussion as outlined in the back of the book "Reconcilable Differences". Does anyone have any other ideas or advice. Thanks.
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,101
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,101 |
This is very encouraging news for you.<P>You could start with the emotional needs questionaire that Harley has outlined. It will definitely give you something to talk about. <P>My other suggestion is no love busters. <P>Go slow and take your time. Your marriage will not be healed over night.<P>God bless,<P>SHA<P>------------------<BR>There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. <BR>
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 91
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 91 |
Well my wifes brief interest in reconciling did'nt last long. I guess she cycled back towards me after I initiated Plan B to see what I was up to. Now she is acting like she was before, hopeless and defeated that we could work things out. I'm going back to Plan B. I feel stupid. I won't be so quick to jump next time. Has anyone had this type of experience? Is this typical? Should I expect her to repeat this? She seems so confused.
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 813
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 813 |
HI Christian,<BR> Yes, it is normal for her to be confused and I think a good sign that she thought about getting back together.Have you read Surviving An Affair? ....it will help.Sounds like a little reality has settled in but she's not quite ready.....hang in there...Lu
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798 |
Confusion is usual.My husband has moved out and in 5 times the past year. I admit this is pretty extreme, but he couldn't make up his mind whether to act like he was married or single--he liked both lives, he was miserable in both lives.<P>Other good books AFTER THE AFFAIR by Springs, TORN ASUNDER by Carder, DIVORCE BUSTING by Weiner-Davis, HOPE FOR THE SEPARATED by Chapman, LIGHT HER FIRE by Kriedman.
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 64
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 64 |
Lor, My husband has been in and out three times this summer. I feel as if I'm on a roller coaster. He says he is leaving for good tomorrow. Has your done that and still come back?
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798 |
Noel,The first time he left, last August, he believed our marriage was over and he was out of the house for the longest period, 3 1/2 months. The other times he said he was "going to X's (his friend's house) and staying there for awhile." This last time was the second longest amount of time at a month, with a total nonconsecutive out of the house time of 7 months. I also just posted on Camarink's WONDERING post how we got back together this time. Which is hopefully the last time...<P>
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