Well well, my second posting... <p>First off, I was raised in a very strong family based household. My parents were very supportive, very loving with each other, and with my sister and me. We were a classic family.<p>But I question where the core 'family' stands now that I'm divorced. Never will I be able to attend a function as a family. My next spouse and our child, my ex and her spouse and their child. Where does my son fit?<p>He is loved by both parents, but where does he fit in the family. <p>My father wrote me a book on the history of the family. With stories about him and my mother, stories about me and my sister. Some of my history. Never will I be able to share a history about myself and my son's mother with my son.<p>Sorry if this is a babbled posting, but it's hard to explain what I'm feeling.

We are all guilty of babbled postings!!! It is so hard sometimes to put our emotions into words that others can understand.<p>But am a little confused after reading your previous post. Are you divorced or separated? Do you have plans to marry again? Has your W had a child with this other man? Do you have a child with another woman? Or is all of this futuristic musings??<p>What is the deal, pickle?<p>I am noticing on here how we all need to clean up our prior commitments before we make new ones! <p>And yes, I believe that your son will fit very well into a family. Although a lot of it will have to do with the respect and concern that you and your ex-wife have for each other and for him. As well, how about the positive relationships that can come into his life from these "new" people in his family? Step-parents and siblings can be very strong and healthy influences for him.<p>Someone (forget who) said that he believed that life is merely 5% of what actually happens to you that is out of your control and 95% of your attitude towards it. Your son's happiness can be somewhat assured if you and your wife make an effort to remind him of the positives that can come of it.<p>Your history is not necessarily negative. It is just different from your daddy's. We tend to equate difference with badness. We are children brought up in different times, and we can not help the way that society has often shaped us. <p>Try not to feel lost and despairing. If a new chapter of your life is opening up, read it in the sunlight, and not by flashlight in the corner of the closet. Your attitude can change the rest of your life.<p>Good luck; my thoughts are with you. Maybe this wasn't much help! More babblings back to you!!<p>Maria

My divorce is awaiting a Judges approval. Neither my ex or myself have any other children, but I have a plan to have more in the future. <p>I don't look upon the differences between me and my father as a failure, but rather something to strive for. My family beliefs are very strong, and there are things that are expected of you with in the family. Not achivements but moral and ethical values. These are things that I have forgotten, and now must strive to bring back to my life.<p>My son's values and morals will be based upon his role models. If I am a honest, honorable man, then so will he.<p>I've broken one promise to him with my divorce. But a promise that can be shown in my next marriage. <p>I hope that clears it up for you. . . . <p>Thanks Maria.