I just realized that what my stbx, at least somedays that what she says she will be, wants from me now is really what she's been wanting for years. She wants me to cater to her needs, expect nothing, and be happy without complaints with what I get. She wants to live separately, do as she pleases, lets go out and have fun together, act like we have not been married for 11 yrs, act like we have not been separated for 3+ months, act like everything is fine, and say nothing about our relationship, which according to her, we don't have. If I can do these things, "no promises but the sex will come". She's crazy as hell if you ask me. Does she really think that sex is what I am all about. Sure, I want it with her, but that's a small part of the picture. I want our relationship to come, our marriage to come, our family united. Then the sex could come. If there is no relationship and everything is about her, why oh why would I lower myself to be a part of the entire situation. I am a bigger man than that. I refuse to be used by her until something better comes along. Why wouldn't she be willing to go out without any expectations. She's gone out with me for years and now has finally left cause she can't deal with the expectations. You know, the ones like being a wife, being faithful, honest, having feelings and showing them, thinking of my happiness sometimes besides being so selfish and self-centered. I'm sorry, but I don't see any resemblance of a marriage to be saved. I don't even see a good friendship with these rules. If I am wrong and these feelings and desires of her's are normal, please enlighten me for as of now, I wipe my hands clean of her. She does not deserve me and I definitely don't deserve to be put through this crap any longer. She's got the cake, eating it, and now wants someone else's piece with extra icing. Is she crazy?<BR>LHC2

The first part sounds like my W. The part about Sex is not though. My W told me the other night that I would never have it with her again! That was exciting to hear! Although I am like you that is not the thing I am looking for, I also "I want our relationship to come, our marriage to come, our family united".<P>I too would be interested to see if your W's feelings and desires are normal because they are very similar to what my W tells me!!!!

Hi,<BR>If this remarks make you feel happy... yes your W is crazy. Or, let's say she's temporaly insane. Is she still having an A? Sure sounds like it..<BR>And I totally understand how you feel, you are used and only she gets what she wants and she doesn't even care what you want.<P>I don't know your story but D is in process? Do you have kids? Do you still want to save this marriage? Depends on the answers to these questions your action should be different I think..<P>If you are giving up this marriage and you don't think you can deal with your W's behavior, and if you don't have kids I don't think you have to be a friend of hers. Look at YOUR friends and if any of them did this to you, would you still be their friend?<P>Again I don't know your story so my thoughts maybe going totally wrong direction, but here's what I thought..<P>Take care,<P>Meg