HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN:<P>Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, <P>empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, <P>tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, <P>stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, <P>pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, <P>toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, <P>return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, <P>show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, <P>implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, <P>ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, <P>aromate, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, <P>sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, <P>embrace, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, <P>locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, <P>repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, <P>die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, <P>enlist, pine, cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, <P>snoozle, snurfle, elevate, enervate, alleviate, <P>spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, <P>take her places, <P>scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, <P>diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, <P>flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, <P>mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, <P>keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, <P>brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, <P>ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize <P>and worship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again.<P><BR>Ladies, did I miss anything?<P>Jayhawk <P><BR>

YOU DA MAN, Jayhawk!!<P>You win first prize--you didn't miss a thing!<P>DAMN!! I am impressed, and I mean it.<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Oh God, he's gotten an estrogen shot!<P>Guys, we're down by one, Caesar has fallen.<P>Who's going to Al Haig for us on this one????<P>Please don't leave me to assume the mantle of command!!! <BR><P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

Yeah--- I think you got it right on this one. Can't really argue with you here. <BR>-Java

Jayhawk!<P>OMG!! You forgot fondle!! <P>Mitzi

Jayhawk, my man, what happened? You been nipping at the estrogen schnapps again? You're acting punch drunk buddy. I know, it's probably just a ruse to catch them off guard, good work. <P>So here we go, just a reminder on why your're lucky to be a guy. <P>28 Reasons Why Guys Have All The Luck<P>1. A guy's butt is never a factor in a job interview.<BR>2. A guy's orgasms are real. ALWAYS.<BR>3. A guy's last name stays put.<BR>4. The garage is all his.<BR>5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.<BR>6. He doesn't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.<BR>7. Chocolate is just another snack.<BR>8. He can wear a white shirt to a water park.<BR>9. Foreplay is optional.<BR>10. He never feels compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.<BR>11. Car mechanics tell him the truth.<BR>12. He doesn't give a rat's [censored] if someone notices his new haircut.<BR>13. The world is his urinal.<BR>14. Hot wax never comes near his pubic area.<BR>15. He never has to drive to another gas station because "this one's just<BR>too icky."<BR>16. Same work......more pay.<BR>17. Wrinkles add character.<BR>18. He doesn't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.<BR>19. Wedding Dress $2,000; Tux rental $100.<BR>20. If he retains water, it's in a canteen.<BR>21. People never glance at his chest when he is talking to them.<BR>22. Princess Di's death was just another obituary.<BR>23. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.<BR>24. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle his feet.<BR>25. Porn movies are designed with him in mind.<BR>26. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.<BR>27. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything <BR>different?"<BR>28. One mood.....all of the time.<P>

OMG, How in the world did I miss <B>FONDLE</B>? That's one of my personal favorites <P>Jax, you hit the nail right on the head...always keep them off guard and guessing. Besides, Java wrote a very complimentary list the other night directed toward the guys. It was the least I could do to return the favor, even if her post was just her way of sucking up <P>Don't worry c00ker, the Caeser has NOT fallen. The best offense is always a good defense.<P><BR>Jayhawk<BR>

<B>I WAS NOT SUCKING UP!!!!</B> You men are so self centered, thinking that the world revolves around you, that for some woman to say something nice and honest, it has to be sucking up to get brownie points from you. Look, I was <B>trying</B> to be a nice person here. I was <B>trying</B> to say something honest and from the heart. Well, I can guarentee that is the last time I will ever do that around you guys!!! Be pre warned!<P>Oh, and Jax--- one <B>little</B> comment about being a woman vs a man... I can wear my jeans without undies if I want to with out having to fear the zipper!!! <P>Java

although i don't participate in this thread, I have read every word and i do follow it.<P>java, that was a good zinger!<P>ROTHFLMAO!<P>

Oh, OUCH!!!<P>Just have to remember to zip <B>SLOWLY!!!</B><P>Or do like I do & buy 501s <P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again<p>[This message has been edited by c00ker (edited November 16, 2000).]

Jayhawk, on what part of a woman do you use crazy glue?

Cinderella.... I was just wondering the same thing! <P>Jayhawk.... Even if you were just sucking up, it was good.... but you forgot Lick. I guess taste is about the same...kinda. <P>Here's a little something for you guys.... it's sports related...<P><BR>Play Ball<P>An Irish guy is invited by his American cousin to his first Red Sox game. <P>Sitting in the stands, he sees a man hit a white ball with a stick and run<BR>down a white line to a white bag. Everyone is yelling, "Run! run!" <P>Another guy comes up to bat and does the same thing, and everyone yells,<BR>"Run! run!"<P>A third batter comes up, but he doesn't even swing. He sees 4 pitches go<BR>by, and he strolls to the bag. <P>The Irish cousin yells, "Run! run!" <P>The American cousin says, "He doesn't have to run, he has 4 balls." <P>The Irish cousin gets up, and yells, "Walk with pride man! Walk with<BR>pride!"<P> Flutterby<P>

Oh.... here's another one....<P>How many MEN does it take to change a lightbulb???<BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>Just one.... he'll clime the ladder and grab the bulb.... then he expects the world to revolve around him! <P>