X's birthday is April 8th, however she and om/h will have the kids and will be away(at least I think, I haven't been told when they will be getting back) on spring vacation.<P>Should I do anything for the birthday from the kids for her or should I let that up to om/h since thye will be with them????????

my philosophy is that you need to show them how to express their feelings, not them to express your feelings. I believe as a dad it is our responsibility to teach kids how to get presents for other family members, regardless of how someone else feels about the person.<P>You need to provide time and opportunity to have them get presents for your XW. It shows your leadership in overcoming bad feelings, and shows your kids how to still maintain good relationships after an emotional fallout.<P>just my philosphy. where else will they learn this skill? will your X show/teach them? I didn't get a valentine's card from d for some reason, not quite sure why, but i can suspect her, possible XW, of holding on to some sort of anger over something.<P>Now I didn't get XW a birthday present last summer, 5 weeks after she locked me out so to speak, and I regret that for my kids, (not for me) and worked very hard with my kids on christmas, which the kids thought went very well.<P>so bob, that is my philosophy, and it comes through my experience, and my values.<P>tom<BR>

I always make sure that my children leave for x's with something for him. I do not provide gifts for other members of his family. Or for his new wife. Only for him. Christmas, birthday, and Father's day. <P>And, yup, one year he did nothing for them for my birthday. <P>One other note, I try to figure out what he spent so that I can spend comparably. And I let the children pick it out so anything, pretty much, goes as long as it fits my budget.

I agree with you. My lady friend has gotten nothing from her kids for birthday and V-day. She didn't get anything from them the previous Christmas so she bought her self some books. They did get her something this year.<P>I guess my question is more regarding the timing since they will all be away. <P>I guess maybe have the kids get her something and hide it in their bags and give it to her on her birthday. <P>Its funny, its her fathers birthday too. We had always done something together. It looks like two years in a row now. It looks like the tradition is dead.