<BR>Well, here goes, I am a 59 year old stay at home dad with our 22 month old daughter. Our first natural child for the both of us. My WS is 41 and runs our manufacturing business. We have been in a relationship for 13 years and married for the past six years.<P>In January I noticed a difference in her behavior. Make-up, new clothes, etc. In Feburary she hired a male sales rep/general manager in the business and they took several overnight road trips to do trade shows and call on clients.<BR> <BR>She assured me they rented two rooms and she would call every morning and evening to check on how our 22 month old daughter when she was on the road, although when she was home she spent less and less time with our toddler daughter. When she would come home from work she would say she was really tired and would immediately go up to the bedroom to take a nap, and most of the time sleep right through our daughter's feeding and bath time. <P>Two months ago I began to have my suspicions that her relationship with the sales rep/general manager was more than business. But since he is also married and I had met his wife briefly, I put it out of my mind. Besides, my wife adamantly denied any wrongdiong at all and I have never had any reason to doubt her in the past.<P>She continued to act distant and cold and sometimes looked at me with disdane and contempt, saying I was the type of person that just irritated her. I had quit my job 4 years age to help her with her business but since she is a very strong willed person it was difficult to work with her on a business basis.<P>I am sure there are many people out there who would find it difficult to work for or with their spouse on a full time basis. So consequently when our baby was born we took a complete role reversal with me being the caregiver and she being the provider. I do 90% of the work at home caring for the baby and housework and shopping and she does 100% of the business.<P>During the past four years we started her new business, in which we invested everything we had; my 36 year old adopted daughter from a previous marriage died from a long bout with cancer; and we adjusted to being new parents to our toddler.<P> All of these things happening at once caused us to take our personal relationship with each other for granted, and our sex life became practically non-existent. But when we do have an intimate relationship with each other I am sure both of us agree lovemaking was great.<P>About three weeks ago, I told her she mentioned the other wayward spouse's name in her sleep and she finally admitted she was having a full blown affair with him, was in love with him and he with her. She stated that I had ignored her for two years since the baby was born and never mentioned how nice she looked or complemented her or told her how cute her dimples are , etc. etc.------ things he does on a daily basis.<P>She has been fluctuating back and fourth in her emotions for the both of us. Mostly for him. I asked her what she wanted and since we can't afford a divorce she wants to continue the affair with him still working for her and me continue being the stay at home dad. She comes home at night, sleeps in our bed, and continues to see him.<P>By the way, the other wayward spouse has not told his wife.<P>This story could go on and on so maybe I can answer some of your questions one the string, although I don't get much time to sit at the computer to answer since she is still living here and does not know I am posting our lives for the world to see.<P>Bud<P>.

Bud, you are in the right place.<P>Have you read the material here on the site, or any of the Harley Books??<P>If you want to save your marriage, it's time for Plan A!!<P>Keep reading, keep posting, and you will survive this.<P><P>------------------<BR>--BR<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>

Yes BR I have read plan A but they are still seeing each other. the OM is still in the employment of my WS. (I think I have the initials right)

" I asked her what she wanted and since we can't afford a divorce she wants to continue the affair with him still working for her and me continue being the stay at home<BR>dad. She comes home at night, sleeps in our bed, and continues to see him."<P>My advice to you is to tell his wife. The chances are that he will back off very quickly once you do that. Don't condone her behaviour. If she wants to continue her affair,change the lock, help her pack her bags and move out. Resign your position with her company. Stop cooperating with her on taking care of your child. There is nothing like reality to shake a spouse as what she is going to loose.<BR>

Max---Thanks for the advice. I am going to Michigan for a long weekend by myself to sort things out. I will add a post when I return on Tuesday May 8.<P>Bud