Ever since my WH filed the divorce papers, he suddenly is trying to change his abandonment act and calling the kids and taking them to dinner and telling them that he would see them every Sunday. He called me on Mother's Day to say "Happy M.D.!" and I have only seen or talked to him 1 time in 3 1/2 mths. I know he asked for joint custody, and his lawyer told him me better be involved more, but how do we BS and children react of such hypocritial treatment after the past 15 months of living h@#$! While he was playing with his little low-life and having a fun non-responsible time, I was home managing and taking care of the kids broken hearts and bills. Now he has the nerve of asking for "Joint-Custody". NO way, he abandoned us and committed adultrey. The only Joint-custody he will get is arthritis (sp). I have a record of before he filed with the little contact that he has had, so I know that this last ditch effort won't amount to a thing. The main reason I feel good is that My God is in control and I know he will take care of us. How and why do they continue to want to hurt us even after they will get the divorce they want? It is beyond my understanding of how cruel and selfishness he is? Any comments????? SEF

He's either feeling guilty or playing a game for the courts. I'm running into the same thing with my WS. Really hard to know what to do or say in this situation.

Well, my H did the same dance. All of a sudden after he was served, involvement started. His involvement was still with OW's. While I don't know "thier" reasons, i believe it has to do with what their lawyers tell them to do. "If you want your kids, you better act like you want those kids" so some play the game and some actually become good fathers because of this. I believe that "reality" of potentially losing custody is an eye opener, esp since you didn't tell them, a lawyer did.<P>I also think that the kids are used as pawns, esp in regards to child support $. <P>People who act like this are irresponsible and shouldn't have custody of children. Visitation is good but custody, no. I am fighting for sole custody of my kids. Who knows how it will end up.<P>Hopelessmom

Thanks, I am also filing for full custody. My kids are too old for joint. One will be 18 in July, other 15 in July, they both don't want dragged back and forth between two houses every other weekend. I just got finished compiling all my legal paper work, like financial stuff, property and all the crap that goes with this divorce stuff. It is taking me at least 8 hours of constant work to pull all this stuff together, while my WH is out playing! I am going to tell my lawyer that I want to charge my WH for secretarial fee for doing all the research. He never kept up with anything financial or insurance or anything, so he has not a clue what we even have. And for that exact reason he won't have anything after this divorce either. He really won't have enough to live on and I really won't either, I don't know what he was thinking. I told him, he should have gotten a rich woman (used another word rhymes with store) instead of a very poor one. She will be in for a big surprise to find out he has nothing. Everything we have has come down through my family through gifts or inheritance and it is secure in my name. So as they say "It's not over until the Fat Lady sings", but I am tuning up and will be ready shortly. It's so hard to realize what they are giving up, especially when I have been looking at it on paper. I guess the sex must be worth alot, because they sure won't have money to do anything else. Oh well, God is very good to those who have been obedient, and I am starting to see some of those promised blessings now.