Ok guys - <P>Now that H has called 2 times today - he has been gone less than 24 hours - do I stick with Plan A or move to Plan B. <P>As he walked out the door, he said it wasn't right that he was leaving. He said he needed time to think - every thing he has said sounds as if he is still confused - well he is confused. If I still think we can save our marriage and I want that for the right and wrong reasons, what do I do??? I almost feel like it needs to be Plan B so he will know what it will be like. He lives in fantasy land that we will remain best buddies. What a crock. I love him and would never be able to move on if we were friends. I would always wonder when he would come around to reality. <P>I am feeling strong - but I have no idea what I should do. HELP!<P><P>------------------<BR>H

Call Steve...<P>My advice is usually to not overreact to anything. So if you've been in plan A, you can continue in that mode. Even if its only for a few days while you compose a plan B letter, it'll put some time between his leaving and you initiating plan B---and that's important in that you don't want plan B to appear to be a reflexive punishment for his leaving.<P>You want him to leave remembering you as the loving wife. And plan B is so that you can keep that remaining love safe from his behaviors.<P>

dhj,<P>I know you said that Harley told you to move to Plan B. Do you think you are strong enough for that? Do you have someone who can be in the middle so that you do not have to have any contact? (as far as son, money, etc)<P>If you don't think you can stick to a true Plan B, then just don't initiate the contact. If he calls or comes over, do your best to show him a loving wife and no lovebusters. But I wouldn't call him or ask him for anything at this point.<P>Remember, don't let that anger at him for leaving let you make the decision to go to Plan B when you are not ready. He seems to fade in and out of reality. He knows it wasn't right to leave. I think it is only a matter of time before he realizes what's going on in his life. Don't make mistakes out of anger that could push him away. Just let things go for a few days and see where it leads. {{hugs}}<P>------------------<BR>Shoni<P><BR>

Good advice, guys. (errr gals.)<P>Hang in there dhj

Thanks for all the advice on this thread. My h is leaving tomorrow and I was wondering about the same thing. He is very confused and know s it isn't right. I will talk to Steve in the morning I will be thinking of you, dhj.

Noel - <P>let me know what Steve says - I need to make an appt, but until then I would like to know what he says.<P>Thanks <P>------------------<BR>H