My wife of going on a year left me in April because I was being intolerable and overcriticizing, and I just did not pick up the signals of her frustration and depression. It has been a long journey of doing the typical bad things to get her back, to more self-discovery and forgiveness for myself. I have been healing through counseling, support, and finding power in religion. She has since been on a fast and furious pace to divorce through cutting all ties. Our love is true love, but her hurt is too stinging right now to forgive. My decision for a while now has been to keep wearing my wedding ring (even though hers has been off for months) as a source of inner strength and a committment to healing myself and her hurt, at least until I am officially divorced. I pray to God everyday to bless me with the softening of her heart towards me and the possibility of turning this divorce ship around. Should I abandon the ring and find another source for strength and healing or should I keep it on as a sign of faith, even though if I feel if I take it off that I have given up?

Wear the ring. <P>Tex.

On another note, I was spurred this past week to write an autobiography of my past 26 years of existence, bearing all and hiding nothing, from my joys to pains of everything I have experienced, including the decline of my marriage? I wrote this for myself, my mother, my deceased father (I read it at his grave yesterday for Father's day), and also my wife. My wife's reaction to reading this was that she never really knew who she married? Neither did I until all of this soul searching caused by the separation? I never hid any secrets from her, it was that just the joys of being with her these past four years suppressed some the pain of the time before her. Was it a good decision to give an honest biography of myself to her now or was it a mistake that will further drive her away? My gut reaction is this was a good decision in the long run, even though it hurts her right now. Watcha think?

Don't take the ring off til you WANT TO. Use whatever you can for strength. <P><P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

Wear the ring until you are ready to take it off. You'll know when it's right.<P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>