aaaaahhhhhh!!!!!<BR>Can't live with him, can't send him to China! My STBXH is driving me crazy!<BR>I saw him for the first time in a couple of months last night. I thought our conversation went well for the first time since I found out about the OW. I was friendly but made sure that I did not get emotional. I felt for the first time that I could live through this divorce - that it would not kill me. And we might be able to be civil after this is over.<BR>Then today he e-mails me all this negative drivel about how the kids are spoiled because they assume that we will provide them with the basic necessities (food, shelter, clothing). I think he has become demented!!!!! Actually it sounds suspiciously like OW's point of view. Her children are much more deserving. Can you hear me gagging? I guess all is fair when you are shopping for a stepdad for your kids. We wouldn't want his kids to get in the way or deplete any unnecessary resources!<BR> <BR>I guess I made him uncomforable because I did not behave as he expected me to. So he's trying to pick a fight. If he was not so exasperating it would be interesting. I very nicely e-mailed him back, explaining that I thank God that the kids don't have to worry about where their next meal will come from. And I also thanked him for being a good provider so far. It will be interesting to see if this makes him mad. I probably won't hear from him at all. That is usually the way he operates. He is very good at avoidance. I guess that will give me the opportunity to work on not letting it bother me and hurt my feelings.<P>Ah, I feel better now. <BR>Lisa <p>[This message has been edited by SoSad.59 (edited July 10, 2001).]

Yes, Lisa...it does get <I>interesting</I> as you begin to detach, doesn't it? Nice job with the response! I'm impressed!<P>Now, as you put aside your frustration (look, its just more of the same, isn't it?), check out the feeling that replaces it. You took control of the interaction. His silence speaks volumes! He is the confused one now, but he won't respond like BSes do, he will do more dark...good, him and his actions get some time to 'get to know one another'. I'm not vengeful, but I have to push <I>some</I> of it away...if it gets on her shoes, I'm sorry, that's not the intent. I just don't want it, don't deserve it. This is the 'comes around' portion of the program.<P>I am very happy for you, Lisa...<B>very happy</B>.<BR>God bless you more. -Mike