I'm new to this part of the forum....posting generally on the GQII Forum.<BR>A little history.....my H is the WS. DDay was 5 months ago.<BR>We have 3 daughters....10, 4 and 3. Our 4 yr old is getting ready to start eye surgery procedures at the end of this week.<BR>My H was forced to tell me about his A by my sister who caught them kissing at work. We decided to work it out....2 weeks later I found out it was still going on....he left.....5 days later he came home. 2 months later I found out it had started again....he left again.....6 days later he came home. He gave us 2 months.....that's it....and I found out that it started again....by her H. I confronted him about it....he denied it...and decided to leave again...saying he couldn't stand to be with me any longer.<BR>This was all out of the blue....I thought we were well on our way to recovery.<BR>He's been gone for 2 weeks and 1 day now....and this last Sunday I made him angry enough to decide to file for divorce.<BR>Our younget daughter begs him to stay when he comes to visit them and if he says he can't she begs him to take her with him. He hasn't...he's always told her that he couldn't. He was telling me and his father that from now on if she started begging that he would take her with him....and to prove a point he called her back there asked her if she wanted to go bye bye with him and she said yes.....he looked at her and said.....mommy says you can't....which I didn't....and she looked at me started crying and ran out of the room. That was not a loving act from a parent...he hurt her so he could prove a point. So when she begged to go with him when he was leaving....I said no. I didn't think it was a good idea. I didn't want her to think that he could take her everytime she begged and I didn't think it was right for him to want to take one and not the other 2. I don't agree with him taking them where he is staying either....which is at my sisters house.......what a confusing situation. Too much for these kids to go through.<BR>Anyway.....now he is filing for divorce.....I know the OW is still in the picture but can't prove it. Our oldest daughter is already starting to not like her dad.....this is such a mess.

I also am wondering.....is it possible to plan a while in the process of divorce or after divorce....and has anyone on here ever gotten back with their spouse after divorce and made it? He's admitting that he might regret this decision....but is doing it anyway.<BR>I have not decided yet wether I will sign the papers or contest this divorce.<BR>I've been a homemaker for 10 years.....the job market here isn't good at all...and I have pretty much no skills.....so finding a good enough job to be able to keep my home doesn't look promising at this point.<BR>This divorce is going to be harder than H thinks.....not because I want it to be but because we are behind on every bill that we have....have several judgments against us....and our middle daughter is getting ready to go through alot with her eye surgery.....not sure how long the process will take.<BR>I don't think that with him leaving....and everything else that is going on that me getting a job and putting her with a sitter....none of them have ever stayed with one....is a good idea at all. He doesn't seem to care.<P>Seems that no matter what I do......I'm stuck.

(((((Miss Priss)))))<P>So deeply sorry that you find yourself on this side of the boards. I too have three beautiful daughters and my divorce, that I never wanted, was final last week.<P>In regards to your first post. You have to do everything in your power to protect your children from that type of cruelty. Furthermore, as you see in your oldest, they will form their own opinions. I do suggest that you don't bad mouth him around the kids. No matter what he will always be their father. I know the temptation is great, I would just love to blast my x for how screwed up she is, but I just let the kids form their own opinions.<P>Now on to your second post. Yes I believe that it is possible to Plan A during and after divorce. I have and I think it's made me a better person. Granted I will not get back together with my x, but to the people that matter, my children, the differences are apparant. The children are smart and they can see who's "doing the right thing".<P>In my case, I feel that I tried everything to make my marriage work. I did not fight the divorce, though I'm fighting for custody, I took the high ground. Sometimes I felt pretty lonely taking the side of good, but everyday when I see my girls I know that it was the best decision. My girls talk to me because they know they can't share their hurt emotions with their mom.<P>BTW I think there is a post on page 2 or 3 that talks about getting back together after divorce.<P>Well I think I just danced around here but the overall point that I'm trying to make is to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR GIRLS. Type as often as you need. We'll be here.<P>Hugs, Prayers, & Thoughts<P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-