Had a big blow up this past tuesday with the FIL. He said that my wife is saying that our marriage is over. She is telling me that she doesnt know and is upset for having spent nine years in a crappy marriage and has had to leave her husband. Her father, as some of you know, has said that if she has any idea of reconciling, she needs to leave his house immediately. Other than that she hasnt said anything. I am almost through with Dobsons "Love Must Be Tough" and I am plan A'ing within those parameters. I am feeling much better and in fact dont even think it would bother me all too much if I DID find out she was having an affair, feels kind of strange to say that. The more I dont speak to her, the more I know that I will be alright either way. Spiritually, God is healing me. I am out meeting new people at the church, getting involved with my sons and their football and soccer. Lifting and getting into shape (lost 17 lbs; down from 230 to 215). Man I feel wonderful. Miss the kids though. I really hope it all works out, but man, this is MUCH better than when I was on all the anti-d's and booze. Wouldnt trade it for anything in the world, except of course to have my friend and partner back. We really had some great times when we werent so depressed. I am hopeful, but I have got to get her and my kids away from that immoral father of hers. He says he is a good person, and in a sense I know he means well, but so did Frankenstein when he held the little girl by the lake. I want my kids away from his influence. Should I press this issue with my wife?

RobC,<P>I am having a VERY bad day, so I ap;ologise in advance if I seem harsh, but I want to respond to you for one reason...you said that an A wouldn't crush you, I thought the same, especially since I have been through it before. But today my h told me of the beginnings of an EA. And believe me, I am crushed.<P>I thought I was doing so well, but he managed to get me off guard, and whammo! So sorry if I am down, but maybe you should get yourself better prepared. I thought I was, and this has only been an EA, as far as he tells me.<P>I am totally on your side as far as the interfering FIL. You should not listen to what he says, and judge whatever on what your wife says. Clearly your FIL and you do not have the best of relationships,,,,so wipe him out of the picture as best you can. Do NOT take your wife to task over it...he is her father and she will instinctively defend him.<P>Yes, I know you should come first right now, you're her h, but the fact is you don't. She is LOOKING for someone to boost her case, and in this intance it is her dad. <P>DO NOT attack her own family...big LB. You kind of have to ignore him, and get into thinking about just you and her. Sorry to be brutally honest, but, hell I've had a HARD day.<P>Would you like to read my post??? S*** happens!!! And it's not all good!