I have been up for hours and crying nearly that long too.<P>This club here at marriage builders we all belong to is a club I wish I hadn't been invited to by my husband.<P>We are really doing well in many aspects...but, today was really hard and I have been crying for hours and can't sleep. It is after 2 a.m. here and I'm to be up at 4:30 a.m. Wonderful. He of course is sleeping like a baby.<P>I have been writing poetry (not necessarily good poetry). If you'd like to view it then look on the poetry forum. Made a card for my husband with them. Will sneak it into his lunch box at 4:30 a.m. <P>I am going to go lay in my bed and hold this man I love who can't seem to find the way back to love me as his wife. <P>Does anyone know when the tears stop????I barely cried for 14 years until this happened six months ago. Now it seems to be at least a daily event.<P>I will be so happy when we get to go join another club...as long as it is a happier one.<P>See yah later...I am going to pray while I hold my sleeping man.<P>Love to one and all.<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

there is some kind of dam holding back my tears the last 2 days. im afraid my eyes will swell up from the water i know is there.<BR>i want to cry so bad, im thinking about slamming my hand in the door, just to get me started (well, not really, but my head feels simply congested from the tears)<BR>wonder when it will happen?

It is now morning. <P>Love was Blind, I am sorry that you are feeling that way. I remember feeling like that too years ago.<P>Thanks for reminding me that my tears are a blessing.<P>I pray that you feel better soon.<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

Gee, guys, I was up about that time too! Too bad I wasn't online, but then H would have come down wanting to know what's wrong but not wanting to know.<P>Yeah, I'll be happy too when the only reason for me to be here is to impart learned wisdom and not have to ask for anything.

Hi Everyone,<BR> I was up too after crying and crying....I can't believe my reaction. We have moved to start over (it's been 9mos. since I found out ,lots of crap in the middle) and now recovery. We are really starting to move on and then I found a note my H was going to send the OW before we moved. It said "the best gift I have ever recieved was the time I spent with you"....gee, isn't that great?Time in hell for me and the best time of his life? He has apologized over and over to me but this was written barely 4 weeks ago.It hurts bad.I think seeing something written is so much more hurtful for some reason.I know I'm overreacting but I am so worn out......will feel better soon I hope..Lu

I can remember coming to work with swollen lids and that weird feeling in my eyes all the time. I am happy to say I haven't cried in ten days. I also went several hours yesterday without thinking about all this mess. I also have slept two nights in a row. I does get better!!

Samantha<BR>I am so sorry you are feeling this way. It is terribly frustrating that we didn't get a choice when invited to this club isn't it?<BR>I have gone through stages of counting days I didn't cry then it's back to hours again.<BR>what are you doing for you? Pamper yourelf a little. The best thing I ever did was the night I just left, went for coffe, drinks, a movie then another drink - by myself!!!<BR>It was something that I owed me!!<BR>Remembering that I like my company, I am separate from H. I am not an extension of him.<BR>

Thanks all,<P>I can't really write much now. <P>I have been crying all day and came home to husband and cried hysterically again. I am so darned tired of this roller coaster.<P>He cheated, OW participated and I'm the one who is crying 6 months post discovery. I know we will be alright in the end but why does he have to make this so painful?<P>I think I am loosing what little mind I have left. I am so tired of this all. So very tired. When I get like this it only drives husband farther away emotionally.<P>Some days death seems like a welcomed friend. Not to worry I am not suicidal. <P>I'll be back later.<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

I know how you feel, Samantha.<P>This morning I was thinking how nice it would be for H to come home and find my brains splattered all over the wall and a note: "Now you can go live with your precious ____________. F*** you. Love, your wife."

you know, D&C, I have written that note, to both of them, on many occassions, minus the gory part. <BR>I have offered him up to her on a silver platter many times by email.<BR>trust me, works just as well without the blood!

Samantha,<P>It is healthy to cry. Our shoulders our big. Now, I need to go - because I have some poetry to read.<P>God Bless,<BR>Connie