I've been married for 3 years now. We have a beautiful 1 year old girl. My sisters and family think we are just the happiest of couples. I put on a good front. Lately I have been looking at my h in different ways. Sometimes, I don't even know if I love him anymore. The thought of kissing him sometimes makes me uncomfortable. He notices this, but I always hurry to give him dumb excuses like my lips are chapped. I try to look back on what it was that made me fall in love with him and I can't figure it out. He pursued me, with everything he had and I eventually gave in. He offered me the chance to leave my life which was at a stand-still for wonderful new and exciting oppurtunities. Now I wonder if in fact I married him for those reasons alone. Now that we are settled and have real responsibilities, the excitement is gone, so that should leave the love, right? How do you know if love is there? Is it normal to have the feelings I'm having? And if the love isn't there, than can a marriage be saved?

What is your definition of love? What are you looking for in a relationship? What do you want out of life? Where would you like to be in 5 years? 10? Is your relationship actually in conflict with these goals? What would you need to do to accomplish these goals?<P>I understand that the year after the birth of the first child is typically the low point in most marriages.<BR>

Brooke, have you ever been diagnosed with post partum depression?<P>If the feelings you've been having have only occurred in the last year since your daughter was born, perhaps you should talk to your doctor. It is possible for post partum depression (ppd) to set in long after the baby is born. You don't have to have suicidal tendancies or even severe depression to think you may have it. I felt unsure of my marriage and wanted to tell my husband to find a "real wife" and mother for his kids. That's when I knew I had a problem. I never stopped loving him, but I had different feelings for him-especially sexually. That is very common in depression. I was diagnosed when my baby was almost 6 months old. The symptoms didn't really appear until he was about 4-1/2 months old. PPD can last up to 2 years if left untreated.<P>I really suggest that you talk to your doctor or look into ppd sites on the internet. I have found some really supportive people who have been there. <P>I really suggest you talk to your doctor about all of this.<P>Good luck!