O.K., you can see my details below. I'm now having to switch from working on my marriage to letting my H go. HOW DO I DO IT? For the last 8 months my focus has been recovering my M. Unfortunately my H has decided there's nothing to recover. We are separating as soon as we sell our house. My emotions are a WRECK. I honestly never thought that my M would not be saved. Whether my H is still in a fog, or is just a jerk, I have not been able throughout this whole process to focus on healing and moving on. Now it seems I need to do this. Can anyone help me?<p>MOM

With God all things are possible. Your marriage isn't irreconcilable, go to a website called restorem.org, it will change your life. My husband put the house up for sale and filed for a divorce within two weeks! I moved back to my hometown, 330 miles away from my husband, who lives in his hometown. <p>We've been separated about a month now, and I am looking for a job that is closer to where my husband is for the kids sake and for reconciliation of our marriage.<p>Walk by faith, not by sight (I Cor. 5:7) through your journey, it will be rough, but don't give up. Stay away from anyone who tells you different, that is Satan's way of tricking us into losing our husband's and families. Stay strong, and keep praying.

SEBREA,
Thanks for your response. Unfortunately, I've spent the past 8 months asking God to heal me, my H and my marriage. I've also asked for guidance, discernment and truth. The truth as I see it now is that my M is, for all intents and purposes, over. I've spent way too much emotionally on hoping. Right now, I can't hope. It hurts much too much, when my H is so cold and calculating. I continue to pray for healing for my H and for me, but can no longer pray for God to heal my M. Perhaps a separation and healing for me will change that, but right now, nope. Thanks for the website though, I will check it out.<p>MOM

P.S. Sebrea,
My H does not currently have God in his life. He thinks it's a "phase" for me. I have grown much closer to God since all of this started. I am so grateful to be saved, and do fear for my H. There's only so much prayer can do for my H if he is not turning to God. He's gotten mad at me at times and told me to "quit preaching", that God's all fine and good for me, but that he doesn't want to hear it. It's incredibly sad really.

MyOwnMe,<p>How to do it? That is certainly the question. I've just started thinking that I'm the one who's going to file. It is so hard. Today was our daughters 1st birthday. I had to celebrate it at my W's apartment - and she ended the evening by asking me for money. She asks very nicely. I almost always give her what she asks for. How do I stop doing that? She called me this morning, said she went to the grocery to buy a few things to cook lunch, and her debit card wouldn't work. So, she wrote a check. I checked the on-line banking and found that, no surprise, she had already spent the $500 I gave her about a week ago. I mumbled something to the effect that I would fix it. Why? Well, it's my daughters birthday. etc. etc. W sent me to the store to pick up the cake she ordered. It was $30 for a 1st birthday cake for a baby - with 3 adults and the baby in attendance. <sigh>. W was asking tonight if I would pay her tuition next semester. She has been in college for 5 years and she's only halfway through her BA. I already paid for enough college to do the trick for most folks. Will I pay it. Probably. Why? I don't know. I DO want her to finish college, but she doesn't do anything for me. She refuses to live with me. I pay for her everything. How do I say "no"?<p>How do I stop caring?<p>I try to remember all the cruel things she has said and done to me - how she betrayed me almost from the beginning of the marriage. Maybe that is the key. To remember that over and over again I have given her what she wanted and it never made any difference. She has no respect for me.<p>OK, I'm not helping here. Just venting.<p>-AD

MOM,<p>Hey, I have missed you over in GQII. I'm glad you're still around here. I continue to pray for you and H.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I've spent way too much emotionally on hoping. Right now, I can't hope. It hurts much too much...<hr></blockquote><p>I think that's ok, you know you have to do what's right for YOU. If that means preparing yourself for an eventual dissolution, that's what you should do. Just know that >>>I<<< will not quit hoping FOR you, I will continue to ask God to give both of you strength, compassion, hope, and clarity.<p>God bless you,
Kev