Hey all,

My son was in a bad car wreck the other night.

I was with him all day yesterday and the night before. He survived (God was with him on this one) and he is pretty banged up... a few stiches here and there. No broken bones or anything real serious at the moment.

He was just driving to work from school, and his car went out of control, hit a tree and then rolled down an embankment about 5 to 6 times. The Police are baffled, I asked the Police to look to see if there was any tampering to his car, and they said they would take a look at it. Car looks like it went through a salvage yard crusher... nothing left of it.

But all in all I think my son will be alright, and I thank God for that.

My two D and my stbxw's mother were at the hospital with us. WS's mother said she has no way of contacting WS. She told me that she has not heard from her in almost 4 weeks.

Tommorrow it will be 4 weeks for all of us that we last heard from WS... it' s a sad situation.

So that is why I haven't been able to post. Haven't had a chance to read posts yet either to get up to speed.

So I hope things are getting better for everyone.

Tommorrow it will be 4 weeks (1 month) of no contact with stbxw. Hard plan B with plan D in full motion. What a mess!

Will be in touch.

Wallace

Hey all,

My son was in a bad car wreck the other night.

I was with him all day yesterday and the night before. He survived (God was with him on this one) and he is pretty banged up... a few stiches here and there. No broken bones or anything real serious at the moment.

He was just driving to work from school, and his car went out of control, hit a tree and then rolled down an embankment about 5 to 6 times. The Police are baffled, I asked the Police to look to see if there was any tampering to his car, and they said they would take a look at it. Car looks like it went through a salvage yard crusher... nothing left of it.

But all in all I think my son will be alright, and I thank God for that.

My two D and my stbxw's mother were at the hospital with us. WS's mother said she has no way of contacting WS. She told me that she has not heard from her in almost 4 weeks.

Tommorrow it will be 4 weeks for all of us that we last heard from WS... it' s a sad situation.

So that is why I haven't been able to post. Haven't had a chance to read posts yet either to get up to speed.

So I hope things are getting better for everyone.

Tommorrow it will be 4 weeks (1 month) of no contact with stbxw. Hard plan B with plan D in full motion. What a mess!

Will be in touch.

Wallace

Hi Wallace, Sorry to hear about your son. Is he OK? Why do you suspect that there was something wrong with the car? Did he fall asleep behind the wheel? Make sure that you use this tragic incident against your W in court to show even more how she abandoned the family. Is your son conscious? Stay strong Wallace.Do you have anyone to help you during this trying times like your parents or brothers or sisters? Don't try to do everything yourself because you are going to end up working yourself to death.<p>Take care and I will continue to pray for you.

Wallace,<p>I am sorry to hear of your son's accident. You and your family are in my prayers.<p>RMA

Hi Petvet and Roll Me Away,

Well, the good news is, is that my son is home from the hospital. He is walking around (a little slow mind you, but walking) and he is in quite a bit of pain, due to being banged around in the car, plus a number of cuts and scratches that required stiches.

He is pretty banged up, but it appears that he is going to be O.K. No broken bones, no internal bleeding, brain scans were all good, just quite a few stitches here and there. The Lord was definitely with him on this one, no question about it.

The only family that I have here is my S23, D18 and D16. My stbxw's mother was with me at the hospital the first night and checked in on him by phone the following day from time to time. It was nice to see her there, also kind of surprising all things considering.
All of my family is in Seattle WA. They are all very concerned about what happened to my S,

My stbxw's mother said that she has not heard from WS at all. I believe her, I don't think she would lie about something like that, during our time of crisis with my son.

The frustrating part is, how can someone not want to be in touch with at least their own children to at least know if they are doing well or not? I don't get it.

WS has her own hard plan B going which includes her children as well. (Sick!) Only difference is her plan does not include the concern or well being of her children, or anything thereof (no contact at all 1 month today).

The reason I was concerned about possible tampering to his car... is because on that same morning that he had the car wreck... he had a nail in his right rear tire when he went out to his car to go to school. He took his car in and had the tire replaced that same morning. Just prior to the car wreck, my son said he heard a clicking sound coming from the right front tire and then (boom), the next thing he saw, were people surrounding him, asking him if he was O.K.

That clicking sound (and I'm not an auto mechanic) sounded like it was a bad ball joint or strut. He had those replaced a little less than one year ago. It just feels a little weird, I could be reading things into it that I shouldn't. But right now, with all the strange things that have been happening, I'm not discounting anything.

Thank you Petvet and Roll Me Away for your prayers, it is helping a great deal. I have been praying like crazy. Going to see my church counselor tonight, I'm really looking forward to going.

I feel lost though, it's a very confusing time. I'm not sure what I should or should not be doing, it all seems so surreal, and overwhelming. I have put my faith in the Lord to help me get through all of this and lead me down the path that he wants me to follow.

There is so much insanity surrounding my life, Satan has done a very good job on myself and our family.

But I still thank the Lord for the blessings that he has bestowed on us (my son is the example of this).

Well thank you for allowing me to ramble. Hope things are going well for all of you.

Wallace

Wallace, I am very glad to hear that your S is okay, thank God.<p>I find it very hard to believe that you stbx can go 1 month without any contact with her children but that just goes to show how mentally unhealthy she is. If I were you I would view her as mentall ill (fog) and do not apply any logic to her actions or lack of actions. Someday, this will all catch up with her, it may be too late then, but this will come back and haunt her. That is not meant to be punishment, but just the sad reality of the situation.
Hang in there,
Dave

Hi Dave,

I have to agree with you. STBX is IMHO out to lunch mentally.

It's a very tough thing to deal with.

I was left with no choice but to file for D.

I love her very much, and I don't believe in D, but the repeated pain that she continues to bring to our family is just too much, time and time again.

As you stated, when reality finally does set in on WS, she may very well take a very hard fall.

I never wanted it to come to this, but I'm out of options as you can see.

Wallace

Wallace, you will know that you have done everything you could of done to save the marriage, sometimes there is no choice except D. And sometimes it takes filing for D and letting go, moving on, and giving up to wake up the WS.
You are doing everything you can, you will have no regrets, you can't save the other person if they don't want your help. I am so sorry for your situation, I know the pain. Hope you are having a good weekend and your S is doing well.
Take care,
Dave

Hey!<p>Son is doing much better, he is up and around, and he is going to be o.k. (thank the lord).<p>Not much new here, just my brain whirling around at about a million miles an hour.<p>Still no contact with WS 31 days and counting.<p>You know, I wish this D process would move faster so I can put my life back together. It's just as bad as all the previous garbage that has been going on.<p>Mu stbx's mother called me today, we talked a little about WS. She says she has not heard a word from WS either. She doesn't believe her daughter would do all the things that have been going on. She tries to find an excuse for WS on everything... I guess it's only natural.<p>I'm going to move on, just wish it could move a lot faster.<p>Thats about it for the moment, I'll be in touch.<p>Wallace

Petvet,<p>How are you doing? <p>Have not heard from you in awhile, are you O.k.?<p>Let us know if you could.<p>Wallace

Hi Wallace and all, I'm doing OK. I have to agree with you; I am tired of this mess and being legally associated with W. She's acting like things are business as usual. Any suttle emergency, W calls me using my son as a cover. I don't get it. You either like me or you don't. I do not accept in between. It's hard to implement a Plan B. I cannot wait for my hearing next week then I can get a lot of things in writing.<p>How's your S? You are doing fine Wallace. You will be a stronger man and human being for experiencing this mess. I hate your kids have to endure this junk, but it's life. We have to play the cards we are dealt. I recently came across some research that indicated that the fastest growing family structure is families headed by men of my race. As I mentioned several days ago, I don't what in the hell is going on, but my priest said that he has seen women leaving their families on the increase. <p>I have not gone anywhere. We all need eachother to help endure this hell. I need to go,so I can attend mass.<p>Take care.

Petvet,<p>I don't know what the hell is going on either Petvet. But if someone has an explanation for all these W having affairs, and thinking things are going to be business as usual, I would love to hear their point of view.<p>Over this weekend, I learned, that without a doubt WS had an abortion due to A with OM.<p>My WS, knows that I am very much Pro-Life, and this is all happening from a self proclaimed born again Christian W. (It makes me sick to my stomach).<p>People at Church told me that they would work with me, to show me how to forgive and pray for her. That is going to take a whole lot of work. (Do I see a miracle coming my way?)<p>Needless to say, I am without a doubt going to move on. I (IMHO) think I am better than that, and so are my children. We all deserve better, and with Gods help, he will lead my path accordingly.<p>We don't need someone who brings grief to our family on an ongoing basis. Her time will come eventually, it does for most, who act such as the WS has. There is already evidence of it, even though we have not seen or spoken to each other in over a month. (I've heard through the rumour mill (for whatever that's worth).<p>I'm sure there is a mountain of shame and guilt, but she is to busy with her own concerns to let it affect her right now.<p>My S is doing much better, in fact he may even be able to go back to school tomorrow, so that is good news.<p>It seems that your W still wants to maintain a relationship with you, so that is a good start.<p>It is draining to say the least, to have to keep waking up every morning, knowing that all this fun is still in the works. I know how you feel Petvet, wishing it would go one way or the other in your case. Either it's going to get better, or lets end it.
In my case, I have chosen to end it.<p>Hang in there and stay strong Petvet.<p>Wallace

Wallace, is must seem like just one nightmare after antoher with your WS... I am very much pro-marriage but I believe that you are deseve better than she is capable of giving to you. So if you decide to let go, move on, and give up on her, you will free yourself from most of this pain . Good luck,
Dave

Wallace, I am going to in this hell unless she agrees to the terms of a recovery;otherwise, SO LONG to wifey.Keep up your strength Wallace; you sound determined and focused. That's good. I like what I am hearing. Your W is out there in no man's land. Keep your business state of mind without the personal touchy, feely mindset. It helps with the pain. That's how I have been able to get through this junk. Also, focusing on the kids helps a lot.You are going to make it; keep your support system at church. Why do so many people know what W is doing? Has anyone tried to counsel her? Keep your mind on what needs to be done. None of us need all this DRAMA in our lives; life is tough enough. You, I, and all other victims can do better and will probably flourish after this drama is over. Think about it. All that energy concentrated on bad stuff; how much could we accomplish if that energy was focused on good more productive things. Just think about it?<p>Later.

Petvet,

The only people that know what is going on, is just my church support group for seperation/divorce and my family of course, and her mother. No one outside of family knows besides my attorney. It's not something I want to broadcast all over.

It's got to the point where you have to make a decision and take a stand. I've reached that point. As much as I wish things were different, I can't change the situation at this stage to make things better, if I could I would. It's a two way street for both spouses to make things work correctly, not a one way street. I've worked the one way street long enough (two years).

Petvet, in your mind, you will reach a point with your W, that you will know, in no uncertain terms weather things are going to work out for you and your W... there will be no doubt in your mind which direction to choose.

Hopefully it will work for you in the direction and path that you would like to see it take.

Stay strong!

Wallace

Petvet,

The only people that know what is going on, is just my church support group for seperation/divorce and my family of course, and her mother. No one outside of family knows besides my attorney. It's not something I want to broadcast all over.

It's got to the point where you have to make a decision and take a stand. I've reached that point. As much as I wish things were different, I can't change the situation at this stage to make things better, if I could I would. It's a two way street for both spouses to make things work correctly, not a one way street. I've worked the one way street long enough (two years).

Petvet, in your mind, you will reach a point with your W, that you will know, in no uncertain terms wHeather things are going to work out for you and your W... there will be no doubt in your mind which direction to choose.

Hopefully it will work for you in the direction and path that you would like to see it take.

Stay strong!

Wallace

Sorry for the double post, as well as spelling, it's as messed up as my situation.

Wallace

Sorry for the double post, as well as spelling, it's as messed up as my situation.

Wallace

Petvet,<p>Are you still with us?<p>Let us know how you are doing.<p>Wallace

Wallace: I'm still here. I'm just laying low. I went to court yesterday and received a rude awakening by the atmosphere of the process. Everybody's business was out there in full display; attorneys, witnesses, defendants, etc. were all there in the court. Just business as usual I guess. Nothing happened with my case as I thought it would. Things I thought had been done were not done; no temporary this, no temporary that. Very disappointed to tell you the truth. I am so tired of this crap. I have the Memorial Day holiday to spend alone; Woopi!I have to find something to do; maybe, I will go to the movies to look at "Unfaithful". Who knows I may be able to laugh at the movie because I sure as hell at laugh at my own situation. What's up with you and Dave? Have you heard from your W? How's your son doing? <p>Have a nice holiday.