Hi Guys and Gals, today was not a good day. Wife told me last Friday that she was going to pay kid a visit today. Well, kid was on the lookout for her and when she had not showed up late in the afternoon, she became very upset. He did not want to eat nor do anything else. I called her after I noticed her call on the caller ID late in the afternoon. She came over and was very subdued. She was not her usual cocky self that I had been observing for the past couple of months. She went a couple of hours without one criticism. Kid did not want to speak to her. Whenever she tried to hug kid, he would wrestle himself away from her. She was visibly affected by his actions. All of a sudden I feel a great sense of anger towards her because of what her bad choices have done not only to her but to our kid and I. If her choices just screwed her up, then that would be one thing but her actions have messed other people up as well. After she lefted, kid said that he missed his mom. In retrospect, I wonder whether I should allow her to come inside the house anymore. Tough tough tough situation.

Later.

Hi All,
Have had a busy weekend with all the legal stuff and paper work that had to get ready for filings.
Petvet-
It sounds to me that your wife is really beginning to feel she is losing control... not to say that she wasn't out of control before. It appears that she is starting to feel the pressure and is not liking it.
You know something, my STBXW's #1 priority in life is money somewhat like yours. When STBXW gets these new set of divorce decrees she is going to lose her mind... because I'm going to be taking away some of her money.
I wish I could be there to see her face.
I think when our wives see what kind of life they have left for themselves they are not going to be very pleased... at least I don't believe mine will. It sounds to me like your isn't very happy at the moment either.
It's like the old saying says, "if your going to play with fire expect to get burned" or something like that.
I talked with my MIL for about an hour this weekend against my better judgement. She indicated to me that people make mistakes that they can't undo... hmmmmmm... sounds like someone I know.
She was trying to feel me out. Told her that I was "D" her daughter and that I hoped her daughter enjoyed her new life. MIL kept her emotions very guarded as well as myself during our conversation. neither one of us tipped their hands.
Dave and RMA I hope you are all doing well. Keep me updated as things progress, I have a feeling things are going to get interesting.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Yep, Wallace, our wives are in for it. No, you don't want to see your W's face when she receives the legal papers. Let her PRINCE CHARMING deal with it. Let him shoulder her wild outbursts and frustrations. Let him try to help her out of the jam he helped to perpetuate. Let the SOULMATES deal with it. It seems MIL is getting a reality check as well. With the exception of how this is affecting my kid, I feel like a load has been lifted from my shoulders. How about you?
As I have said before, there is a GOD.

Later.

Petvet, Wallace: the next several weeks should be very interesting as hopefully your WS start to face reality. FS is just one of the 10 ENs but if it is very high on your WS list, then it should
be even more interesting.

RMA, my wife stays that she is not experiencing any withdraws from OM, just gult, shame, and remorse, she continues to state that it was the biggest mistake of her life and that she can't beleive she did it. We are still going to MC, it is going well. OM tried to contract her on
Thursday of last week, well, I don't know if it was so much contact as trying to interfere with our marriage. He sent her an e-mail, the subject was SEXY, the e-mail stated
thanks for the good time the other night. She showed me the e-mail, I thanked her for being honest and showing me this. W changed her e-mail account and we got a new private home number just in case he tries to call, she did this all on her own. I did do something that wasn't
so smart out of anger, I sent OM a e-mail, stated, consider this a warning, stay the way from my family. I hope this will scare him enough to stay away but it could back fire, if he tries to contact or harasses us again, i will turn it over to my lawyer, there are some tough laws in NC about this. Hopefullly, we don't have to deal with him again and he moves on and finds a girlfriend that is NOT married. While I can understand that he is hurt and upset by this, he should of know not to get involved with someone that is married and if that person goes back to their marriage, he should respect that and not interfere. I have zero respect for him.

Take care,
Dave

Petvet-
You are probably right, let the OM deal with her... because it is going to be ugly. The creep that she is with... to the best of my knowledge hasn't NEVER given her a dime. She was too busy WACKING my bank accounts and credit cards.
I have her cut off of just about everything now except medical insurance, so I know she is feeling the finanacial strain of it all.
I'll be glad when it's all over with so i can put my life back togehter.
I'm putting on a full court press concerning this "D" now, so wish me luck... I'm going to need it.
Dave-
What a piece of scum this OM is. Of course most of them if not all of them are. It's a good sign that your "W" informed you of this, that's a good sign she wants the "M" to work. I would of done the samething you did (contacting OM)... good job.
Keep me updated as all of you progress.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Dave: Financial Support is #2 on my W's list. I hope you know that the OM is all about games and ego gratification. He is scum. You were right by sending the email. Go after him in a legal manner; don't break the law. That's what he would want you to do.

Wallace: As I said before, take it to her. OM is using your W. My guess that soon he will dump her for another woman to take care of him.

It should be an interesting couple of weeks. Oh! by the way, my child support payment has not arrived. Today, was the start date.Hmmmmmm?

Later.

Petvet,
Why doesn't that surprise me that your wife has not paid her child support yet?
My STBXW is so far behind on her payments it's turning into a joke.
That's O.K. though... I'm just beginning, she has been the one calling all the shots and having all the fun.
It's my turn now. I've taken everything she has thrown at me... and I'm still standing.
She can't hurt me anymore than she already has. She can cannot inflict anymore pain on me, and I'm sure she knows it.
I don't want vengence, I just want out.
Her pain will begin, when she realizes what she is left with for a life.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Hi Folks, well things are getting interesting. Wifey called me last evening to ask whether she could have kid for the rest of the week; I said no because that was not agreed upon in our temp agreement. She got upset and said that I need to stop thinking with my head and going by the book and start thinking with my heart and feelings. Huh? Also, she showed up at my job to ask me a simple question that she could have called me on the telephone. I really don't understand her thought process. I am being fair and following the rules and agreement. She wants to do whatever she feels.

What can I say?

Later.

Oh by the way, wifey said that I was not going to act like a man because I don't agree with her.

Later.

Petvet,
I know your wife is confused by the way she is acting. I may be way off base on this one... but it appears she is starting to chase you.
Whatever you are doing it seems to be working to your advantage.
Her statement is indicative of an ongoing frustration she appears to have.
There may be a glimmer of light showing.
keep up the good work.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Petvet, I agree with Wallace, this could be the start of something..... but remember she will move forward and then take a few steps back, this is all part of the process that she may be starting.... there may be a few false starts before she is ready to move forward. Regardless of what she does, stay your course, being consistant will get the best results, there may be some hope, but it is still very early in the process, she is still confused and in the fog.

Wallace, you sound very determined and strong, sounds like you are in a much better place now, as you stated, she cannot hurt you, only you can allow her to hurt you....

Stay stong,
Dave

Hi Dave,
How are you doing in your recovery? I hope everything is going well.
I wish you and your wife much happiness as well as a long and loving marriage.
Concerning my current state of affairs... my attorney called this morning. We are waiting for the Courts to give us a date for the final hearing.
I am determined to go through with this "D", and move on with my life as well as my childrens.
I know it will be a very sad day for us all when the final hearing is over and done with. I have been left with no other options but to move forward.
I wish my STBXW had never went out of control... but unfortunately she did.
I'm only playing the cards that were dealt to me... unfortunately it's a hand of cards where everybody comes out a loser.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Wallace: I hate to hear you talk so sadly, but I guess you have no other cards to deal with. Your W just don't know what she is in for. She is stuck in park. Seeing you go through this only reminds me of what I probably will be dealing with within three months.

Dave: I continue to wish you well.

RMA: Where areee you? Pay us a visit.

Later.

Hi Petvet,
I'm sad about it all, but I am no longer hurt.
It does make you stronger though. In my case I had no choice but to either become stronger from it all, or be destroyed. I chose to become stronger and so did my children... thank the Lord.
In your case I do see hope... so please don't give up just quite yet.
You are doing something that is attracting your wife back to you. I don't know what you are doing, but keep doing it... I'm telling you, I can feel it working in your favor, based on your most recent posts.
Trust me, work hard, work very hard and don't give up, not yet. I think you will see some good results.
I don't want you following in my path, O.K?
Promise me that now, alright?
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Wallace: I know God is looking over you and your kids. I guess you have no choice but to be stronger since you and your family have been through hell and back and back again. I tip my hat to you Wallace. You are a MAN. Your W will miss that important aspect of you when all is said and done.

As far as my situation is concern, I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what W is up to. Time will tell, but I am going to stay the course despite the critcism from her and my inlaws. I know I am doing right. That's all I care about.

Later.

Petvet,

I gotta agree that your W is definitely having some sorta angst going on in terms of the divorce. I concur with Wallace and davrpr - you need to continue what you are doing. Your situation continues to be far from over. As the legal process is drawing out, it is beginning to become immediatley apparent to your W what all is at stake - she is giving up alot of things important to her - the money, your son, your friendship and companionship, etc. - and what is the big prize she is getting in exchange for all this loss????? I don't see it and I am beginning to think she doesn't see it, either.

Continue to focus on you and your son...RMA

Hi, I am going on vacation with my family, will not be back until July 29. I'll catch up with everyone then. Hope things go well for everyone, you are in my prayers, stay stong, remember that this is going to make you a better stonger person, it already has, and in the end you will find true happiness, will have become a better person and have a better life, take care your families and most importantly yourselves.
Take care,
Dave

Dave,
After all that you have been through, a vacation is probably in order.
Have a good time, and keep up the good work.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Hi folks, I hope everyone is doing well. Nothing really new in my camp, but I did receive a 40% child support payment from W. She said that was all she had. Right! My mom is giving me a lot of grief about taking child support from my W.She feels I should let W give me whatever she wants. Not! She is afraid for my safety. She thinks that if I persist in getting money from W that someone may kill me. My response is if the shoe was on the other foot, I would have to pay. She knew what the consequences were before she lefted because I made her aware of the 20% minimum law and she lefted anyway. Besides, up until now, she had given me zero. If she wants to have me killed, the cops will know where to go; Trust me. My main responsibility is to make sure my kid is taken care of and since she is his parent, she should help support him. Mom says that she knows inlaws are angry at me for seeking support, but I told her that I do not care how angry they may get because I am doing the right thing. I know I am.

Later.

Petvet,
You are doing the right thing, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
She is lucky that you are letting her get away with a 40% payment only.
If anything happened to you, she would be THE #1 SUSPECT, make no mistake about it... does she want to take the chance of spending the rest of her life in jail?
My STBXW isn't going to be so lucky... as soon as the final court hearing is over, I'm going to drag her in for the CS she is already behind on. She will be in court every month if she gets behind, I am not going to be so kind.
They should of thought about all of this before they went ahead and acted the way that they did, and are.
Sorry for venting and being so harsh, but this area is a real sore spot for me.
I wouldn't let up one inch as far as the support goes.
Stay Strong!
Wallace