Hi everyone,
avondale...
I'm happy to hear that you and your "H" were able to communicate with each other in a friendly manner.
It's unfortunate that your "H" is using the "MLC" excuse for justifying his behavior. IMHO it is pure selfishness and his being self centered that is the real excuse that needs to be put forth here. I don't mean to be harsh and please don't take this the wrong way... but this is all very much the same old WS "fog" speak.
I know you probably already realize this... and I know that your "heart" tells you to continue meeting with him so you can at least continue with a good Plan A and see what may transpire concerning the outcome of your "M".
IMHO, I would guard your heart as well as your mind... keep the door open to continued communication for as long as you can with your "H" with the hope that he eventually gets back on the right track.
The Lord will leave no doubt in your mind on when it's time for you to walk away from your talks withyour "H".
If it appears that your continued meetings with your "H" is just for his justification of why he is with the "OW"... then you really need to ask yourself the question... "is this beneficial for me and our marriage"?
Hopefully your future meetings with him will lead to putting together a new and improved marriage for both you and your "H". As long as he is still with the "OW" there is not much you can do, but Plan A and work on bettering yourself.
DAVE...
I'm sure it feels just like D-Day all over again.
Red flags go up all over the place when you are in recovery and you catch your wife in a lie. I know the feeling very well, as I caught my exW in many many lies during my many reconciliations. The big difference is... your wife is doing all the right things while in your recovery... mine didn't.
I would let this one pass. I would however pay close attention to any other red flags that may pop up and deal with them on a point by point basis.
One lie, (especially while your in recovery) may lead to another, and another.
I'm assuming that you both went through a "POJA".
I would revist it in a very kind and understanding way, and remind her that you need total honesty in your marriage in order to maintain a complete recovery.
I hope everyone has a good weekend.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Thanks Wallace.... I know I need to put this behind me but it will take some time, right now I can't stop thinking about it, the anxiety is back, I did't eat a bite in over 48 hours, feel like I am going to puke all the time.. guess we all know the feeling.... I even took my old
prescription of Celexa and some anti-anxiety (can't remember the name). W is trying to be nice to my, I am trying not to LB, but to be honest I can't
stand to be around her right now, I know that sounds really bad....I am just a low plus I have the job thing handing over me...
I need to put it behind me, we can't change the past.
Thanks
Dave

Hi Dave,
Getting ready to leave work for the week and noticed your post.
I understand how you feel with the job situation (I had to take a 25% pay cut or get laid off myself) and it's not a good place to be... it's rough out there right now.
I also understand how you feel right now about your wife and not wanting to be around her.
When my exW lied to me when we were in recovery, it just floored me. I was wanting to trust her again and I thought we were both working on building our marriage back to a point where it was going in the right direction and then I would catch her in one lie right after another.
Once you catch them in one (and my exW said she did it so as not to hurt me anymore) it takes everything you worked so hard for and just drops it right back to square one... and you try to rebuild from there.
Hopefully Dave it's just a one time thing, and you both can move past this and rebuild from there.
Be cautious, be careful, because your back to square one for the moment... but you can rebuild it back... it's going to take effort on both you and your wife's part.
Have a good weekend, things will get better.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Hi all! Sorry for the getting back on Thursday, but I had to cool down mentally and physically.

Thursday was a sad day for me. First, I had to sit through two and a half hours of court hearings watching as the judge sent two people to jail for non CS. He was brutal, no mercy. It's amnazing how people get theselves in so much mess. When my case was called, w's attorney just had showed up. He asked judge whether he could consult with his client. When my attorney and I were asked into the conference room, her attorney said that he had been informed that we had an reconciliation. I quickly told him that was not the case. I proceeded to tell him the events of the past week and told him the only way there would be a reconciliation would be if everything was FIXED. I told him that it appears that she wants to come back because of the court hearing and the future lost of her job. Well, it went down hill from there. My attorney wanted to take w before the judge, but I did not want to take the chance of w being sent to jail. I just want her to help me out financially. After going back and forth, her attorney informed us that his client had no money. My attorney and I were
furious. The attorneys consulted for quite a while amongst themselves. We came up with a temporary agreement that is well below 17% minimum support level. My guess is that she won't pay that either. According to her attorney, she is barely making it. As the attorneys hammered out an agreement, w sat on a bench in the hallway crying. It was very sad to see. I stood a distance away shaking my head and asking myself "is w better off now than she was one year ago?". She has lost everything, home, kid, money, etc. All this for the gratification of another man and possibly high octane sex which does not amount to anything now. During the course of the conferences, w would still tell lies which disappointed me to no end. Her attorney told mine that w was not one of his most liked clients, and my attorney does not like her either. At this point, I cannot trust her. My attorney and I are going to try to settle this mess very soon as long as she will agree to the adultery complaint. That's the only way I will get credit for any unpaid moneys. After we finished our business, w rushed out of the court house and quickly drove away. As my attorney and I walked out of the courthouse, she turned to me and said, "you do not need to get back together with her, she only wants reconciliation for financial reasons.". I would also add stability. She recommended I go look at a movie and take it easy.

When she pick up kid yesterday, she was nasty towards me. How can I trust her? She has so much venom towards me.

Dave: I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Without trust, you have nothing. I would continue on the current path; however, I would be very watchful and guard yourself fron anymore hurt. I would tell your w that she must be upfront with you going forward or the reconciliation will not work nor endure the test of time. See, the difference between your w and mine, is that my w has not shown any good gesture towards reconciliation. She has not repent nor apologize for what she has done. She has not done anything in good faith.

Avondale: I would ask you H what does he hope to accomplish from your meetings? Have him to bottom line it for you. You don't want to tread water when there's no direction.

Later.

To all,

This is a post for EVERYONE on this thread!! This is my 2 cents worth....my opinion.

EVERYONE deserves a second chance in life, sometimes even mnore than one second chance, if you know what I mean. We are all imperfect humans. We all have selfish ways and all do things to hurt others, sometimes.

Give your spouses and ex-spouses with whom you still desire to reconcile, some breathing room to make some mistakes along the way. The WS is seldom going to just "wake up" or "snap to" and become a loving, concerned and responsible partner back to you overnight.

Having said that, I now say this: after a REASONABLE amount of time, you have to step back and see when enough is just enough. Some people will continue to use you forever, IF you let them. Guys and girls, each of you needs to search your heart and if necessary, get feedback from others, to determine that time when enough is enough. Each of you have different circumstances - divorce, separations and reconciliation. In my mind, you gotta see some EFFORT after a period of time. Hang in there, friends! Things will sort out one way or another.

I just encourage you to have a plan.....a REASONABLE plan. Use the Harley concepts....Plan A and Plan B, as appropriate. Search your heart for a reasonable time frame and inact the appropriate Plan when and if that time comes.

God bless you all. I will be gone on Monday, but will check in at the end of the week. RMA

Hi All,

RMA

Your post was very timely. And I have 2 cents worth too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Give your spouses and ex-spouses with whom you still desire to reconcile, some breathing room to make some mistakes along the way. The WS is seldom going to just "wake up" or "snap to" and become a loving, concerned and responsible partner back to you overnight.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree, one thing I have noticed on MB is very few BS's mention their part in the marriage breakup. WS's don't just wake up one morning and decide they want to have an affair. They leave the marriage mentally at least one year or more prior to leaving physically.

As far as 'snapping back' overnight, it could happen if they had a heart fix by the 'heart fixer' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I also believe that during recovery, the WS is also being cautious looking for similar behavior from the BS. IMHO, I think this period should be called 'rediscovery', because you are rediscovering the love you had for each other! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> And the past should be left there. I know this is not the 'Harley' way, but I believe that constant discussion of the OM or OW is a constant source of pain.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">a REASONABLE amount of time, you have to step back and see when enough is just enough. Some people will continue to use you forever, IF you let them. Guys and girls, each of you needs to search your heart and if necessary, get feedback from others, </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, that's true, most people allow themselves to be used for manipulation purposes, in hopes of getting something in return.

What is a reasonable amount of time? Who can say? Matters of the heart are not easily discerned unless it is revealed by God!

For me, this has been a very humbling experience, I have since realized that I made my husband the god of my life and no human can stand that pressure. That's why God reserved that spot for Himself.

I'm sure that if we(bs) would take time out to retrospect and allow God's Word to take root in our hearts we would see many changes. He allowed these things to happen for a reason.

Only when we're content in our trials do we move to the next phase. My Goal!

Remember the Children of Israel, it took them 40 years to make a 7 hour trip. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Why? because all they did was murmur and complain!

Respectfully, IMHO
God Bless You,
relady

<small>[ November 10, 2002, 11:01 AM: Message edited by: relady ]</small>

Hi all!

Everyone: This is my two cents. There is no question that forgiveness is vital in recovery and reconciliation. Yes, all of us on this thread had a hand in our marital problems. I think everyone here knows that point. The issue is this: all marriages are going to have problems. It's going to happen one way or the other. To think that a marriage can past through time w/o problems is unrealistic. All married couples accept that reality when they vow to stay together during good and bad times. The clincher is this: MOST ISSUES ON THIS THREAD OR OVER & ABOVE NORMAL MARITAL PROBLEMS. As a matter of fact, they are downright abusive if you want to know the truth. This is the reason why society, churches, and courts etc. view marital misconduct so seriously because it can become dangerous in some cases and abusive to the marriage in all cases. Keep in mind that we on this thread are human as well and all of us want the best for our marriages regardless of our part in the problems, but we are trying to resolve the issues and our WS are not. Is marital misconduct healthy for a marriage? In my opinion, no. As RMA has said in past posts, we will know when our ws want genuine reconciliation. We know our spouses and can determine whether recovery is possible under the present circumstances. Lastly, we know how much we can endure and tolerate and with prayer have to decide which direction to go.

Later.

Hi everyone, first thank you all for your support. RMA, I always appreciate your wisdom.

Well, I have finally cooled down a little, still in somewhat a state of shock but I have to remember that W had pretty well already mentally checked out of the marriage when this happened (doesn't justify it but that is reality), she
wasn't in a good state of mind, wasn't taking her paxil, and was very drunk. Again, this does not justify her actions but does help to understand what was happening at the time.

Since starting reconcilation W has taken her paxil everyday, has not drank at all, has given up going out with her girl friends (atleast to bars) has gone to MC, has done alot of self-help
books/tapes, etc, has tried to meet my ENs, and certainly put alot of effort into helping us heal.
She is truely sorry for her actions, not just this but for everything with OM#1. She can't believe that she did the things she did, she doesn't remember alot of things that she did, says that she can't rembember because of her state of mind at the time. She also wasnt to
go to confession, she has never gone, she also wants to re-new our wedding vows... all positive signs. Although I am very disappointed in her actions of the past, I cannot hold this against her forever.. we are all human.. we all make mistakes, God knows I have made some bad decsions in the past too. Maybe if I was not so focused on
work and had given her more attention and met her ENs or even understood her ENs some of this may not of happened... while I cannot hold myself fully repsonsible... I certainly contributed to our marriage falling apart.. so I did play a part in all of this but I have learned from this experience... I am certainly a much better father that I was before all of this...a much stonger person, and hopefully a better person and a better spouse.

Got to run,
Take care everyone,
Dave

Wow...everyone is "waxing eloquent" and I think there is truth in what you have all said. I truly appreciate the collective wisdom on this thread.

Dave , I'm glad you've cooled down...You have so many good things going for you during recovery. I'm glad you took time to list them, and that should help keep you from getting hung up in something that happened in a dark time in your marriage. I admire your resolve in working through this.

Wallace , how many dates did you have this weekend? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> LOL

<small>[ November 11, 2002, 11:25 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi All,
avondale...
I had three dates this week. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> One really doesn't count though. We were at a birthday party for one of our friends... and their furnace went out... so I spent almost all night long getting it up and running. So I really don't count that one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
Dave...
Glad to hear that you have cooled down. Your wife sounds like she is really putting forth some effort to make your marriage work... you have a lot to be thankful for regarding her continued effort in that area.
Keep doing what your doing, you are on the right track.
Petvet...
It appears that you had a very trying day in court, and I'm sorry to hear that it's turning in the direction that it is. I hope you start seeing some relief from all of this in the not to distant future... you need a break, you've been at this awhile. Hang in there, it has to start getting better.
In response to everybody's comments, I would like to add my .02 cents worth.
I think everyone has made some very valid points... I agree with everything everyone has stated.
My part in the demise of my "M" was the fact that I put too much time into my work, and not enough time into my exW's emotional needs. It was never brought up to me as being a issue, (in fact quite the contrary... according to her everything was "fine") so I never realized that it was a problem until it was too late. It's unfortunate that we sometimes realize things that are sitting right in front of our face too late... but all things happen for a reason IMVHO.
I think Petvet said it well, "MOST ISSUES ON THIS THREAD ARE OVER AND ABOVE THE NORMAL MARITAL ISSUES", as sad as I am to say. Each with our own set of circumstances...
RMA and relady... I agree with all of what both of you have stated. You both hit the nail right square on the head.
Hope everyone has a good day.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Hi all!

Wallace: Thanks for your comments. I am tired of this stuff with w. I am ready for this to end, so I can move on to happiness. Boy, you have been very busy with your friend. How does it feel?

Avondale: How are things with you?

Me: I know I played a part in my martial problems. I think my problem started when she wanted baby and I didn't. After kid was born, it appears that w did not like the family lifestyle, and wanted to be single again because she had never been out on her own. Of course, I wish I had known about EN back then, maybe my marriage could have been save. By the time I knew about EN, things were probably too far gone. W always had a problem resolving problems. She is very self centered. My mom told me that she has always had bad vibes about w (and yes, she told me at the beginning, but I did not listen). I have learn so much from the Harley's program. I just hate all this happen because it hurts my son.

Later.

Hi All,

Avondale

I agree with you, this thread is amazing. It has truly been a God sent for me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Wallace,

We're going to call you our 'marathon' dater <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Your new friend must really like you because you've been kidnapped every weekend and there hasn't been a ransom note posted here so you must be a keeper. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Davepr

Sometimes it takes another point of view to see our situation clearer. You really have a lot going for you now. Relax and enjoy it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Petvet

I'm praying that your situation is soon on a lighter side. This whole marriage breakup is such an energy drainer. I can only hope that when I finally have to deal with my H, that I am strong enough, and don't weaken. It's easy to be strong when there is no contact.

relady

Thanks Relady.. I am sure God will give you the strength to deal with WS when the time comes..

Petvet, so what is next on the legal side? How
was WS last night, has she cooled down any from the court date?

Wallace, glad things are going well with your new friend.

Take care,
Dave

Hi All,
Petvet...
IMHO, what you are going through is probably one of the worst experiences you might possibly ever face, aside from losing a child... at least it was for me.
It was especially tough on my children... we are still feeling the effects from it all, and I'm sure all of us will for some time to come.
It does get better after you have run the full cycle of the "D"... at least it did for me. It didn't bring me happiness though... there is a sense of emptiness after it is all said and done with. It is at this point that you have to be strong enough mentally and physically to begin moving forward with your life. Picking up the pieces of the aftermath and moving forward in a positive mode.
I leaned very heavily on the Lord throughout all of this... and to this day I still do.
Without the Lord at my side I probably would of been a basket case. It's only because of His blessings that I have been able to become stronger both mentally and in my faith and move in a positive direction for both myself and my children. (side note)... I still have not heard anything from my "OD".
When is your next Court date and what are you expecting to happen when it comes about?
I pray that whatever the outcome... that the Lord smiles down upon your family at all times.
relady...
Marathon dater... hmmmmm... should I change my name?
I think she does want to keep me. My "lady friend" does want a long term relationship... she has indicated that she is in "Love" with me, which completely caught me off guard. I wasn't quite ready for that. I am however finding myself feeling more attracted to her as time goes on... it's somewhat scary. I'm putting God as my focus and using "MB's principals in this relationship. It's a darn shame that I didn't have the ability to do this in my "M".
relady, I think you are very much grounded, both morally and mentally... and even though you are left in a situation that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy (I know exactly what you are going through)... whatever the outcome, you will be a much stronger person for it. By allowing the Lord to take control of your situation, he will lead you to the path that he feels is best suited for you.
Dave...
I hope things are settling down for you some. I still believe that you and your wife will continue to be one of the success stories on these boards.
Stay the course.
avondale...
When I posted that little smirky smiley face I didn't realize that it stuck it's tongue out... so please don't take offense to it, it was not meant for that purpose.
Have you decided to continue meeting with your "H" for future discussions? If you do, I pray that the Lord let's your "H" see what he is truly missing out on.
RMA...
I always look forward to hearing from you... don't stay away for too long.
EC...
If your out there let us know how you are doing.
I hope everyone has a good day.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Hi All,

Wallace,

WOW, WOW AND WOW!! I'm dizzy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I wasn't expecting that!! Your 'lady friend' is in Love already? I'm sure that really did catch you off guard. She is one brave lady!

Since she is recently divorced also, do you think she has done the necessary work on herself? Is God first in her life as in yours?

I'm always a little skeptical when one professes love so soon.

IMHO, take it slow, let the Lord be your guide, apply the principals and maybe date other people, after all dating is getting to know someone.

One of the things I failed to do in my M is allow God to be #1 in my life. If I had done that, He would have shown me how to better deal with my H. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> . After all He created him and He knew him much better than I did. I could have spared him a lot of nagging and whining!

Sooooo, proceed with caution.

relady

Petvet , others have asked and I've been wondering too....what is next for you? Do you have another court date? What do you hope will happen? Will you have to get another job if your W doesn't pay CS, or can you handle the financial solution that was worked out?

Wallace , no problem with the <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> It actually would seem appropriate since I've been teasing you about your marathon dates. It did not surprise me AT ALL that she is thinking "long term". (Maybe it's female intuition) I just wondered what YOUR take was on that possibility (with her). It seemed kind of rushed, that's all...and I'm kind of like in "the little sister mode" with y'all since I'm newer on this thread - I would hate for any of you to be hurt more than you already have been.

EC - Haven't heard from you recently...Hope you're OK <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Me - My daughter is supposed to be meeting with her dad in the next week or so. It will be their first talk (alone, without her new husband present) since he moved out. She really wants to yell at him, point out his irrational thinking, etc.. I don't know whether to encourage that or not, so I'm keeping quiet. I do plan on talking to him myself again, maybe before Thanksgiving, to give my opinion and a rebuttal on the things he said last week. He is such a classic, textbook case of MLC it's laughable. Except he doesn't have a little red Miata sports car, LOL

Hello Everyone,

Haven't been here lately man I was trying to catch up on eveyones post. Not much going on. Today would have been our 19th Aniv. Looking back she was having an EA during our 17th so 3 aniv's passed with someone in the picture, not as painful as it used to be. Last year I sent her a card, this year I let it passover. Knowing her she's probably looking at last years card. I took some time to step back and look at things and its time move to the next phase of life.

Petvet - I'm sorry to see you have to go through that with your W. Just when your ready to bring the hammer down you see they're already crumbling and you have compassion wanting to leave them at rest only to find later they regroup find strength and bite you back despite your kindness, protect yourself as much as possible.

Davepr - I understand how you feel about "like d-day" all over again, despite the temp pain, I guess you can be happy she's trying...I think after you give it time, she'll remember how she got stung so bad being a WS she'll never go back to that, she realise how far she's come and peaceful it is living a honestlife verses the pain she lived in before being WS.

Wallace - I know how you feel don't jump to fast. It's flattering to know a woman is in Love with you after all this time. When a man has been rejected and cheated to the extent of many here you think it's almost impossible for a woman to ever fall in love with you or be attracted. If I were you I would get the book "Mars and Venus on a date". This will let you know what stage you are at and what stage she is at. Not trying get in your business but I think you are doing fine but at this stage for her, is this a [Rebound]??..Not saying she is a bad person or anything but if you're used to being in love, you love that feeling and you'll express those emotions to someone you just trusted in even if you barely known them, you just love being in Love. I'm not saying what either of you feel is not real, but that word " Love " can mean many things, I would just dig and examine what emotional needs you are meeting of hers to push her over the edge? Thats when they spew it out you know.You don't have to make those teenage mistakes when you were younder, now you have the ability to control how you feel and what you'll do. Wallace I think you're just Mr Money Bags feeling her bank, see what doing your homework produced? I think men that have been betrayed/divorced and studied have a stronger dose of love bank deposits than we realise. I remember the lunch date I went on months ago, she bout jumpped me, I only treated her how a woman she be treated.

Avondale - Don't be disappointed if your H don't produce what you think he should.

Hi all!

Wallace: I think EC is right. You have done your homework well, and you are filling your friends love bank very quickly. I will be a little cautious with your friend falling for you so quickly. Keep up with the good work.

Avondale: It will be interesting to see how your H reacts to your daughters comments.

Dave: Stay the course.

Relady: Are you taking a wait and see position?

Me: I am finishing up my response to my w's interrogatory that I am taking to my attorney's office later today. W's attorney is going to try to get her to accept an adultery agreement to we can bring this mess to an end. The adultery agreement will help me get an annulment. In my Diocese, annulments can be difficult to get in a timely manner. Hopefully, there will not be any more court dates unless to approve a final settlement. I just receive notice that she purchased merchandise using an account under my name that she has not paid off the balance. I need to go: bed time.

Later.

Hi All,
relady...
It does make you dizzy... doesn't it? I know it threw me for a loop when I heard my "lady friend" say that to me.
She is currently working on herself allowing God to lead her life and to put the Lord as her focus and #1 in her life. She is also currently following "MBers" principals as well.
I have told her that I am not currently ready for any real commitment as of yet, and she indicated that it was understandable... so I'm trying to take it slow... real slow.
I'm being very cautious.
I'm like you... I had God as #1 in my life as well as my "M", but I started to drift away and not stay consistant in my faith... it was a very costly price that I paid for drifting away, and I vowed I would never let that happen ever again.
How are you holding up? I know the road your on very well... and I hope and pray that the Lord will lead you to a better circumstance and situation.
avondale...
You can be in the "little sister mode" all you want... LOL. I never had a little sister to look after me, so if you feel I need a good nudge to straighten me out... feel free to give me a good nudge.
I think I'm more worried about me hurting her, than I am about her hurting me. I don't want to build up false expectations for anyone, only for them to find out I can't fullfill their needs. That... at this point in time is my greatest concern.
Your intuition was correct... how did you know? It caught me way off base... as I wasn't ready to hear those words being uttered to me.
IMHO, I think it is perfectly acceptable for your "D" to meet with your "H". It gives her an opportunity to let her feelings be known, which I believe is something she needs to do for herself (vent if need be). I hope your talk goes well with your "H" as well... remember to try not to use any "LBs" during the course of your conversation with your "H". You most probably want him to see you at your finest... make him wonder... and give him reason to rethink what he has done.
Say a prayer before you talk with your "H", and let God give you the ability to convey the things that you would like to put forth.

EC...
Sometimes when we reflect back to times that we had in our "M" and see what we were putting up with... it sometimes makes it easier to move forward with our lives. It appears that you are doing just that.
Thanks for recommending the book... I'll have to go and check that out.
It is quite amazing to see that when you apply the "MBer" principals and put God as your focus how attractive we evidently become. I never had an opportunity to try any of the MBer principals in my marriage, and I definately don't want to make the same mistakes in my past "M", so I have just been "walking the walk", rather than "talking the talk" and it seems to be working out rather well... almost too good.
Could this be a "rebound" relationship for her? It very well could be... that's why I am not getting too emotionally involved at this point in time... my guard is way up.
I still wish I had had the opportunity to apply all of this in my marriage though... but like you, I need to keep moving forward.
Thanks for the insight.
Petvet...
You need to be careful with your wife and your finances... it can really set up a real hornet's nest for you if your not careful.
It appears that your getting ready to come to a conclusion on your end as well concerning your "M". My prayers are with you and your son as I know this is a very difficult time.
You will make it through this regardless of the outcome... and you will indeed come out a much stronger person for it. It's just a darn shame that you had to end up in the same boat as many of us here have.
We can walk away from it knowing that we gave it the best that we could, and all we can do is try not to fall into the same thing as far as any future dealings.
Oh, and by the way... your right... I have done my homework... LOL.
RMA and Dave...
I hope everything is going well for both of you.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"I have told her that I am not currently ready for any real commitment as of yet, and she indicated that it was understandable... so I'm trying to take it slow... real slow.
I'm being very cautious."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi Wallace.

You are wise in telling her this and she is lucky to have a friend like you.

Keep up the good work.