Hi all!

For those still on the board before the holidays, I want to wish you'll a Merry Christmas.

Avondale: We are straight. No problem in my camp. What are your plans for Christmas?

Relady: How about you?

Wallace: I can take a wild guess what your plans are?

Me: I am going to try to stay busy; even if I have to go out of town by myself.

Oh! I need to learn how to use those icons. Are there any willing teachers out there?

Later.

Relady: W

Christmas present for Petvet... (assuming you meant the "graemlins faces"). I will have to do it in two posts because they only allow 8 faces in one post.

The icons are down there underneath and to the left of the first "add reply // preview post" buttons. Just choose one and it will appear as a code in your text. When you preview or post your text, it will appear as a smiley. I suggest using lots of <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> and <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> but there may be times when some of the others are more appropriate, such as when someone says something unbelievable, like <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> or <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> . Continued next post...

Then there is the "cool" face <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> which is also used if you want to be secretive. Don't forget the "I'm mad" faces <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> or embarrassed one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> . If you're sad, you can use <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> or if you're really sad, and crying use <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> . If you're teasing someone, use <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Now if you're talking about some other icons, then I'm not sure how to do them here. This bulletin board has some graphic capabilities disabled, probably because there might be some really objectionable ones posted.

Tonight begins the weirdest Christmas of my life--our "family" Christmas dinner with daughter, son-in-law, and dad. Will be really strange just the four of us, without my H or my son. I did finally get an address for my son and was able to UPS him his gifts. I'm still keeping the same meal tradition, though: standing rib roast with all the sides and a chocolate ganache yule log for dessert. Using all the good china and crystal which were handed down to me from my grandmother. Happy Holidays!

<small>[ December 23, 2002, 05:33 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Guess who is still here?

I wanted to say to eveyone... that I hope that this "Holiday" brings you all "Blessings" and "Peace".

Petvet...

LOL... You tell me what you think I have planned... and I will tell you if you are right or not... LOL.

Have you made any definite plans for Christmas, or are you playing it by ear?

I'll be on the boards tomorrow off and on till about 3:00 p.m., and I'll try to check in through out the rest of the week. So if your on... let us know what your up to.

avondale...

I think this is going to be a pretty strange Holiday for us all. I will be having dinner with my son and YD on Christmas eve, less one exW and OD and many others on exW's side of the family.
So it will definitely be quite different.

I will be going to Church with them and my "lady friend" will meet us at Church tomorrow night (Hint, Hint, for Petvet... LOL).

So to all... Petvet, RMA, Dave, avondale, relady, EC, and WGTT, Have a very "Happy Holiday".

Blessings to all.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi All,

I wish all of you a very happy and blessed Holiday.

Now,
me, me, me, me, me....
No, I'm not warming up to sing a Christmas Carol <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

For the last few days, I have been asking the Lord if I was going in the right direction or if I had somehow missed His instructions. I asked Him to give me a sign or a word that I was in His Will.

I also told Him that sometimes I can be a little slow so make it plain. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> On the way to church yesterday, I said, " God, this is but a small thing for you and I know you could do it if you wanted to". I could almost hear Him laughing at me.

Well anyway, as soon as I walked into the church, my Pastor told me he had received a card from my H. In it he said he missed everyone and he would hope to see him soon <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Now this is the same H that would not return the pastor's call and said he would come to see him and didn't a few months ago.

I just want you all to know that God is Faithful, He will do what He says He will do. Just trust Him, Cry out to Him and I guarantee you He will answer. Prayer works.

On Christmas day, I'm going to Disneyland, (seriously) after all, it is the happiest place on earth. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

God Bless,
relady

Relady ,
That is exciting news -I am VERY happy for you! It's great when you get a "sign" that you are on the right path and in His will. I think all of us could use those reassurances. Sometimes it's like we're walking in the dark, even though we're in the light, ya know? Have fun at Disneyworld!

Wallace ,
I bet Petvet and I are thinking the same thing about your plans...Relady is probably thinking the same too, LOL. I wonder what your "lady friend" will be giving YOU for Christmas. Let us know <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

I had an unsettling thing happen last night. Hubby came by with a gift (not too surprising). However, I was caught off guard because he had a gift for my dad (who he hasn't spoken to since August when my dad let him "have it" for his actions) and my dad's lady friend (who H has only met briefly twice). I was very surprised at those 2 gifts and said something I shouldn't have, but I can't take it back now. I said something along the lines of "this goes to show you how you are not living in the real world, not thinking clearly, and are in a fog". Well, when I said that, H left, a little bit upset because he didn't agree with me. My dad and I think it was a real "stretch of relationship" for him to give them (esp. his lady friend) a gift. Maybe even inappropriate.

Prior to this, Hubby and I have been on good speaking terms and not exchanged any arguments. I am willing and ready to apologize if I should...but I keep thinking "why should I apologize after what HE has done to me?" and also if I apologize, would that make him think his actions are justified by me? What I said was true, I just used bad judgement by saying it. On the other hand, I realize that an apology/forgiveness would be a good example (if he can see it through his fog). Any advice out there?

<small>[ December 23, 2002, 02:44 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Avondale,

If I'm soft on you, the men on this thread will complain <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> So, here goes!

IMHO, Of course an apology is in order whether you feel like it or not. It was a gester that could have been tolerated, thanked for it and move on. Like I've said many times, our emotions have our mouths speaking things we really shouldn't be saying. Maybe that was your Hs way of apologizing for not beening there during the holidays, we never know what God has placed on his heart.

I'm not sure if I've read in any posts if you are interested in reconciliation with your H or not. If you are, have you taken time to renew your mind? And truly given God permission to shine the light in your heart. Don't get me wrong, I feel your pain as well. To have spent the last 5 months reworking my brain to think as close like the Lord as I can. What if He gave us a sarcastic word everytime we went to Him? We would probably stop going. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

One scripture that I have burned into my brain, is Proverbs 31, "She openth her mouth with wisdom and the law of kindness is on her tongue" So, if I ever get the opportunity to speak with my H, he will know I'm not the same person. Renewing your mind in the Lord shows you that they are deceived and your battle is not with 'Flesh and Blood'! We sometimes get mad at the wrong person. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">why should I apologize after what HE has done to me?" and </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Because you are stronger than that! Don't let the victim mentality abort what the Lord has planned for you. He saw this day before you did. Apologize and move on!

From me to you with love <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
relady

Also, what exactly am I apologizing for? For upsetting him? For not being gracious? For speaking out of turn??

Hello again everyone,


relady...

You are most definitely on the right path IMHO, and the Lord is most definitely walking with you.

He knows what his plan is for all of us, and we are to follow him, and allow the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts and our minds to do the Lord's will.

Keep praying for your "H"... let it be God's will for your "H" to follow the righteous path.

It is a very encouraging sign that your "H" contacted your Pastor. Hopefully he will follow through and return to God's house... it can only help.

Prayers for you and your "H".

Ummm... I would never get upset with you if you went soft on avondale. If you went soft on me, I might get a little concerned... LOL

avondale...

I agree with relady on this one, and she has given you some good advice. Many times we say things we wish we wouldn't have, only to regret it later. If the opportunity presents itself, I would apologize for what you may have said.

Could it send the wrong message to him by apologizing to him? It may, but I think in the long run you will feel better for having corrected it and show him that you are a better person.

LOL... I'll bet you are all thinking the same thing as far as what my plans are with my "lady friend".
Who knows... I could surprise you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
I wouldn't bet on it though... you are all too smart to be thrown a curve by me.

Stay strong!

Wallace

OK
I think I knew it in my heart the entire time, and just needed someone to confirm it. I called H and apologized. Even said more by way of apology than I had intended, but I'm OK with it. He said he knew where I was coming from when I said it (although i doubt that), and we're as good as we can be now...things are back to normal, whatever that is these days. Thanks guys! Glad I don't have that hanging over me during the holidays. I love y'all!

relady...

I hope you have lots of fun at Disneyland.

Yep you're right, "it's the happiest place on earth", it's also one of the most crowded too... especially on Christmas day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I want to go too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Have a good time... I love Disneyland!!!

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi again,

Avondale

I knew you knew that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I'm glad you apologized. Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else that doesn't always agree with you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Wallace,

Believe me, I'm soft on you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I know what you're going to do on Christmas. You'll give her the engagement ring, oh, oh, I mean brown leather coat, etc., she'll say yes, oh, oh, I mean yes it fits and give you your present and you'll both say goodnight and turn over and go to sleep, oh no, I mean go home. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Whatever you do, have a great time. I'll say 'hello' to Mickey and the gang for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Petvet,

Where are you when you have a chance to get back at avondale? Hope you're not frozen. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

relady

Hi all, I'm here.

Sorry, I can only get on maybe once a day.

Avondale: I understand your frustration. An apology was probably due; however, I would have overdone it. Does your H knows what he is doing? He seems to want to make everybody not be mad at him. Thanks for your icon advice. I am going to have to experiment, so watch out in future communications because icons may show up in weird places. Yes, I share your weird holiday experience because this will be the first time in over nine years I have not spent time with inlaws opening gifts before Christmas. We have to face reality as it is no matter how odd and hurtful it is. Please strive to make you holiday good for you.

Relady: Disneyland? Sounds like a winner to me. That is a good sign that your H made contact with your pastor; however, where does that leave you? That's the one million dollar question. Is he doing this to make his way back into his marriage or what? You need some clarification from above or from your pastor.

Wallace: I should have known you Romeo you. I guess when you are doing things right the opposite sex cannot help but to want to spend time with you.

Me: I stayed up past three in the morning trying to put together my son's new bike for Christmas. I hope I don't miss a screw or something. I would hate for my son to be riding down the street and the wheel separates from the bike.Good thing I purchase a helmet, knee and elbow pads. My attorney filed for a court date late last week. I expect a hurricane to hit when w finds out what I know about her affair. She should receive my response to answers to her interrogotory this week. Well, back to wrapping gifts. I have to do these things while son is asleep. I really do hope I don't mess something up on his bike.

Later.

Yikes!!!

Engagement ring??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

NO, NO, NO, NO! Say it isn't so.

Don't hold back relady... tell me how you really feel. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

relady...

I just about choked on my coffee when I read that... LOL.

Just the mention of anything remotely close to that makes me whirl. I'm still whirling. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

There will be no engagement ring involved in this particular gift giving scenario. I don't even see it on the horizon. I'm not moving thaaaaaaat fast. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

LOL... I'm still laughing and choking on that one... talk about throwing out a curve ball... strike one for me... I wasn't ready for that one... LOL. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Tell Mickey and the gang I said, "Hi".

Have a great time at Disneyland.

Petvet...

I have faith in you... 3:00 in the morning putting your son's bike together? You are on a mission to get this bike done correctly... huh?

Sounds like the fun is about ready to start up for you come this "New Year". Hang on... it gets pretty wild!

I'm filing contempt papers on Friday against exW, so I'm going to be starting the "New Year" out right as well.

We never had a hurricane in Colorado that I'm aware of, but we have had some tornados. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Anyone else on the same page as relady as far as my game plan... "cough", "cough", "cough"... I'm still choking to death over that one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Petvet ,
I may be old, but when my kids were little it cost $10 to have people at the store assemble the bike and we thought it was money well spent! I hope you don't wear yourself out putting it together. I know your son will have a great memory of his first real bike...and you'll have the headache of staying up late assembling it. Hopefully the headache will turn into a great memory of his face lighting up when he sees the bike, and the bike will hold together.

Wallace ,
I'll slap you on the back so you will stop choking! I'm glad Relady wrote the "E" sentence and not me! But if that thought puts you in a whirl, it's comparable to what we're thinking when you listed your gifts to someone with whom you're "trying to slow down"

It's cold and rainy here today, perfect weather to stay inside and goof off...going to church tonight.
Happy Christmas Eve <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hi Gang!

Hope all is going well...Merry Christmas!!

Petvet - I guess that will be a real shaker when you expose the affair openly...whew

Relady - Disneyland? Thats great.When I lived in FL I went to Disneyworld it's a lot of fun, even around Christmas time, in fact thats the best time to go between Oct - May, you're not scorching in the sun.

Avondale - Don't worry about what you said to your H, his heart is no where soft like yours where he's hurt, but give it time when OW wounds him, he'll rememer your apology.

Wallace - Buying clothes?? Geez what's next?? You really have this womans nose open Mr Loverboy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Ok, on the serious side....Since you are ahead of most here, I want to use you as a relationship question speciment:

Did you know your GF was in love with you before she ever said it aloud to you? if so, what behavior or things would she say or do that you knew or made you wonder that led in that direction? I know its somewhat personal but you could give me some insight.

I ask these questions because I have a female friend that have started calling me daily, I've known her close to 1 year now, but yet the conversations are and been generic. Her and her boyfriend parted 5 months ago when she realized they didn't share the same faith and life concepts. I met him and spoke to him before and we joked around. I felt fine around them both and always told her to tell him hi. I felt comfortable because I knew I wasn't her type so no threat was ever there to him or her, I considered them married done deal, but it fell apart. She currently goes out on dates with other guys, she has high guy ethics and standards. Since she is single again and for me to draw lines, I tell her I'm not interested in a relationship other than friendship and I say I'm still working on me. I told her I don't date at the time and we will probably never go out on a date because my car is not geared for that and I won't meet her anywhere for dinner either....but yet she keeps calling me daily. She calls me at work and home. She calls me most days before I go to work early in the morning 6:30a and during the day at work and before she goes to bed. I'm not saying she's bothering or harrassing me or is not good looking but I have not lived the single life or recovered yet. I've been on my own now for almost 2 years now but its been 2 years of an emotional rollercoaster recovery. I'm just now walking into some great things ahead that a single person would love to do after realizing your WW did you a favor, she did me in but my outcome is going to shine. I now have a nice job, started a business, enrolled in comm college, will be debt free in 2003, buy a house in later 2003, get my dreamcar [corvette] later in the year,..After WW's many A's in 2000-01, I lost so much, I had no job, a bag of clothes and my stero and 4 plates, 4 glass, didn't know where I was going......So as you see I don't want no serious relationship at this time....I know I'm meeting an emotional need in my friend and it's not really fair because I know what they are, not because she told me, but because I studied about emotional needs, on the flip side I'm trying to guard my heart because one of my emotional needs is conversation which is strongly hers.

She said I was a special friend to her than most guys and that she loved me, but said also, there is nothing there about me that she would want to establish any relationship but yet she's calling me several times a day. I just wonder if this is a sign of a woman with a crush or falling in love and in denial, .. I'm not doing anything but being me, our conversations are never about us, just how are you doing stuff, whats new and how was your day. She took a trip and called me before she boarded the plane, asked me to call her on her cell while she's out town. I didn't but she called me. I know its possible to be friends with the opposite sex and nothing is there other than friends just like somebody you work with, you forget about them at the end of the day, but this seems diff with her.

Any thoughts?

Take Care..

O.K., O.K.,

I'll let the cat out of the bag.

I was saving this for the New Years annoucement, but you have gone ahead and made me quicken the pace even more than I had wanted to.

Are you ready?

I am going to ask her to marry me!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> j/k

I'm still choking to death. it's too bad that it's December... it would of made a good "April Fools" joke.

Hmmmmmm... April Fools joke... LOL

It's not raining here avondale... it's just cold... the sun is out though.

Rainy wheather is good for sleeping too! And don't get the wrong idea, I really mean sleeping... LOL. I love to sleep. I better keep my mouth shut... I feel like I'm just digging myself a bigger hole than I'm already in... LOL

Have a "Merry Christmas"!

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi All,

It appears that everyone is having a great day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Petvet,

I'm sure your son will enjoy his bike. I hope you're not one of those fathers that uses a butter knife to tighten the screws like in the old days. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> He's down the street and the wheels are back at the front door! LOL

Anyway, One morning in my prayer time, I wrote down the desires of my heart in no particular order, because I believe that if I delight myself in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart. On that list was that my H would contact the Pastor. I don't know what it means as far as I'm concerned yet, but I DO know that God is in it. And all things work together for the good of those that love Him. My pastor will respond to his letter and go from there. If you knew my H, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> that in itself is a miracle. It is a demonstration that my prayers are heard and God is working in his heart.

Wallace,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am going to ask her to marry me!

j/k </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Too bad we don't believe you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> And by April, we rrrreeeeaaaallllllly won't believe it's a joke! LOL Have a Wonderful Christmas and be sure to let us know how the jacket fit. he,he,he

EC,

RUN EC, RUN

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She calls me at work and home. She calls me most days before I go to work early in the morning 6:30a and during the day at work and before she goes to bed. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I would be very afraid. I consider myself a 'somewhat' normal female person <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> and I have never called anyone that much <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Not even my H. My question is why don't you see a problem with that?

Avondale

What are we going to do with the men on this thread? Maybe after the new year we shouldn't be so kind and gentle. LOL

Everyone

Have a great and wonderful Holiday, don't eat too much, and by all means take the time to acknowledge the Lord in all that you do. He rewards those that diligently seek Him.

relady

HI EC,

I'll give you my take on this... I'm sure the "ladies can add more than I can on this... but here goes.

"Did I know if my g/f was in love with me"?

No, I didn't get any real indication that my "lady friend" was in love with me until she came out and told me she was. I suspected that she had some strong feelings for me by certain things that she said and did. Many of the same things that your "lady friend" is doing with you right now.

You are doing the same as I am... communicating and being honest with your "lady friend".

In my case... she appreciates it so much, that she has fallen in love with me.

She indicated that she wasn't planning on falling in love so quickly, but I guess I was meeting so many of her "ENs" and according to her (she says that I'm very attractive as well) she couldn't stop what she was feeling for me.

Caught me by surpise!

So go figure... my exW dumps me, and now I'm like "Prince Charrming" to my new "lady friend".

I have learned a lot since D-day and all of this has happened, and I'm walking with God in my life more than I ever have... so I would like to give all the glory to the Lord for the blessings that he has bestowed on myself as well as my children.

Based on what you have posted... I would say that your "lady friend" has a much keener interest in you, than you think.

I would say that the ball is in your court if you want to pursue it.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

sidenote: My "lady friend" very rarely calls me, she waits for me to call her... and I will tell you all how her new jacket fits when she gets it for X-mas... hehehe... LOL. I can't wait until April... LOL

<small>[ December 24, 2002, 02:46 PM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Busy little thread on Christmas Eve <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
OK OK
The guys on this thread evidently have killer charm in person, LOL. Notice Petvet hasn't mentioned his lady friend anymore...wonder if we've scared him into silence about her.

I have entered "I hope Wallace is joking" on April 1, 2003 on my palm pilot.

EC,
You didn't ask for opinions other than Wallace 's about your female friend but I can tell you...someone who is calling you THAT much is really taken with you, big time! I have never called anyone that much, even when I was a starry-eyed teenager. And I do have friends from church who are guys but I don't call them unless it's business. This woman has it for you in a huge way, OR she has a dependency problem of some sort. Either way, she may not even realize it herself. I think you realize it though, or you wouldn't have asked the question in the first place. So now that you know, what are you going to do about it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> As Wallace said, the ball is in your court.

Now my experience is that in a relationship, once a woman knows what (or who) they want, it is easy to go after it (or him). Most women can do that...it goes back to Eve, LOL. Sometimes the guy is the last to know what hit him!

I'm having so much fun here it's helping me through the holidays. Thanks! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ December 24, 2002, 03:55 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>