Hi Guys and Gals,

I just wanted say thanks for all the support over the course of time I've been here on MB's. I've posted for about 1 year now, peeked for about 8 months before posting. Ain't it amazing how many people are watching you, yet you never know how many or who? We have many different people from all walks of life, yet you never know what there nationality is, rich or poor, famous or common everyday joe, all you just know is they are a human being suffering the same thing you are, all our hearts are alike.

Ok, just a little sober talk.

Tonight I was thinking about society and the epidemic of "infidelity and cheating". Since I've been single now my thoughts have been towards staying free from the wrong connections. Just today I was reading about the AIDS epidemic and then I see in the news HIV/AIDS is at it's all time high in America, not Africa, but America, my heart just went out to those who have fallen in that trap, lots of WS's are headed there and even BS's if were not careful and it's sad. I'm talking about Male to Female relationships.

I think in time, alot of those Websites matching people up will turn into a disguise of HIV/AIDS people looking for someone to join up with seeing that Infidelity is on the rise and an epidemic, so many people place fake profiles and computer manipulated photos there it's unreal, however there are some honest people there. If you are a Dv'd BS it's best to keep yourself pure and wait for the right one and don't be in a hurry but get strong. WS's are just hooking up with anybody and it's a very dangerous time out there, many WS's need to run back to there spouses who they forsook before it's too late, HIV can lay dormant in a person 3-10 years before it ever pops up. For this reason thats why the bond of marriage and its convenant is so important, that's one of the best fighters against Aids ever.

Anyway I'm done, I rambled enough, it's our thread, you guys understand.

Take Care

Hi all!

I'm still around. My days are getting a little better.

Wallace: If you don't mind, what are in your hauntings? What does your exw be doing in your dreams?

EC: I'm glad you have gotten your court date. Now, your w will have to face the music. You may get a couple of laughs out of it.

Later.

Hello All!!

I have been quite busy these days. I would love to say that things have been getting better, but that's just not the case. I have been separate since January 6th and just found out that my H has been living with OW for at least the last 2 weeks (that is all he will admit to). I knew it in my gut.

He's been sick for the last couple of weeks with the flu. He is such a baby when he's sick and I always took care of him so I knew he would be looking for some TLC. I asked if he wanted to come home until he gets better, but he said he was ok. I knew he was with her, I passed by and sure enough he was there. I flipped out and told him to get his stuff out of the house. I was so angry at the fact that he was to be out on his own trying to sort things out regarding us and he was with her AGAIN! I told him that I have been struggling with the possibility of divorce and this new situation was not helping. His response was - you want a divorce? I said that I want nothing more than to save our marriage, that I don't want to be "just friends" that I was to be his wife, but that I was tired of all the games and that I couldn't take it anymore. That I have had a number to a lawyer sitting on my desk and I try to find a reason every day not to call it, but I was starting to run out of reasons. He was speechless. I don't think he thought I was serious all the other times we discussed our relationship.

He said that he wasn't there for any other reason then that he had no where else to go. He was really sick and he didn't feel comfortable coming home because he knew I would take care of him and that he didn't deserve it. He is really miserable right now, so very unhappy. I almost believe that he is there for no other reason then he feels that he has no where else to go right now. Also, she isn't there much of the time anyway, she visits her mother a lot. He really needs to hit rockbottom but the OW giving him a place to live just kills me. I mean if he was where he really wants to be shouldn't he be happy?

He finally admitted that he needed to speak with someone. He mother has been begging him to talk to their priest but he has been avoiding it. He bascially said that he doesn't think we can make it because he doesn't think he can be happy. My answer was you won't know until you really try and it has to be with OW. We have no future to think about until she's gone. That was last Thursday.

Well, yesterday he met with his priest by his own accord. He called and made the appointment. I know it doesn't sound like much but this was a HUGE step for him. I didn't make a big deal out of it and I am dying to know what was said. I did speak with him afer this meeting, but I really didn't ask any questions. I did tell him that if he wanted to talk about it I would but I am not going to question anything. All he said was that he said to get some professional help.

Alrighty then......back in limbo. I just don't know what to make of any of this. Just when I am ready to cut the cord, he does something like seek help and I get all confused again. Like I shouldn't be giving up hope yet. But I tell you (and I told him also), every day he is living there with her is pushing me closer and closer to getting a divorce.

Just another day in paradise - especially with Valentine's Day right around the corner and my dauthers christening a few days after that (which is also my birthday!!)

Oh the JOY! Thanks, just needed to vent today.

Hope all is well with everyone!!

Hi Everyone,

I hope all is well. It's been raining here for the last 2 days, so I've been working from home, can't take the risk of getting wet. LOL Yes, I'm whining about the weather again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Wallace, FAA

Hold on while I change into my 'guru' hat and answer the question about your dreams. There, thats better.

Have you ever been to a motivational seminar or something similiar and have the feeling last for maybe a week and then you're back to your old self? When we're trying to change our attitudes, or our belief systems, we're actually breaking away from a comfort level that we have established for ourselves through the years. When that happens our 'sub-concious' gets an 'out of comfort zone alert' and works hard to bring us back to where our comfort level is.

For example: You're both moving on with your lives, but it is not a level of comfort that you're used to, so your 'sub-concious' that is always working behind the scenes is working overtime to bring you back to your comfort level of many years, which spills over into your dreams. But as you persist in your new way of life, it becomes the norm and your sub-conscious will accept it as new information, however; not without a struggle. That's why many people just give up.

Another example is when there is a lottery winner, they're usually broke before they get their next check! There mind is not equipped to handle success, so the sub-conscious struggles to bring them back to their comfort level which was mediocre living.

Hope this makes sense. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Petvet

Thank you sir for the kind words, that is ditto for you. We all know that you and Wallace didn't last long. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Glad to hear you're doing well, how is your son? Is he aware of the 20th?

EC

What a sobering thought. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I wonder if anyone will ever have the nerve to sue those internet dating places for 'alienation of affection'? They should really be screening those profiles a little closer. There are strange people on those sights. My WH is one of them and I Know how strange he is! LOL

WGTT

I will be praying for you that God will give you peace and that whatever the outcome God means it for good. Believe it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The Pits

IMHO, I don't think you'll get through to your 'H' just yet. Now that he is not there, take this time to take 'extreme' care of you. Hard to do, however; necessary. Take an opportunity to read some of our previous posts on this thread, you will find that everyone has walked in your shoes and willing to share their tremendous experience.

RMA, Davepr, Avondale

Hope all is well with you.

God Bless,
relady

Hi Relady -

I totally agree with you that it is basically out of my hands. He knows that I want this marriage but he is the one with the doubts. I mean, he is living with his OW and he still isn't happy - this is what he was leaving us for 8 months ago so why isn't he happy?!?! I mean, they had this great connection <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> - what happened to it?? Hmmmm, could it be that THEIR ENTIRE relationship was a LIE?!?!? Go figure!

It breaks my heart to see him so sad and depressed, but I can't do anything for him. I think the more I do for him the more sad he gets. He says it makes him uncomfortable, that he doesn't deserve it. When he talks like this I figure that there might be hope, that he is seeing what he is missing from his family. But it is also killing me that when he did need someone and someplace to live, it was with HER!!! I do lose hope for my marriage every day now.

So, if I need him I have to call her house?? Isn't it enough that when he is on the phone with me when he is there, she starts talking loudly so I can hear her! Now that's class - my husband has to ask her to be quiet. I enjoy that part because I don't complain about hearing her. I haven't complained about the living situation, but I do let him know I am uncomfortable with it without stressting about it.

I am taking care of me now, I have been for a while. It's just me and the kids. But I see his family almost every day. They watch our kids while I work. My MIL heart is breaking and it kills me to look at her.

The rest of this month is going to be REALLY hard. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

The Pits

Just happened to jump back in and see your post.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">he is living with his OW and he still isn't happy - this is what he was leaving us for 8 months ago so why isn't he happy?!?! I mean, they had this great connection </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">First of all, happiness is a feeling. It is a conscious choice to be happy. No one wakes up happy every day although a WS has the misconception that this is supposed to happen and when it doesn't, their off to see the wizard (OW, OM) for a happiness pill. LOL Although they never find it because the 'wizard' moved and left no forwarding address, so they just keep looking going from one wizard to the next.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It breaks my heart to see him so sad and depressed, but I can't do anything for him. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Usually on this thread, I just beat up on the guys. Namely Wallace & Petvet <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Why does that break your heart? He hasn't changed in 8 months. Wasn't he sad and depressed before he left? Save your heart for your children. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I do lose hope for my marriage every day now.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Never lose hope, then you become defeated and that is a heavy weight. If you're familiar with 'fog' you would know that your H is in the middle of it. So, he is not thinking clearly and you can't get through.

I will end with this. My advice to you would be to Never, Never, Never call the OW house to speak with your H <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Never need anything that bad. Are you familiar with Plan B? If not, get familiar. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

God Bless,
relady

Thanks Relady, you made me laugh - wizards!! I needed that!

As for him changing, he has. He went from being completely an unremorseful jerk and blaming me for the A to being completely remorseful, apologetic and depressed. He feels that too much damage has been done to go forward. Because of this change I had hope for our marriage. We had a couple false recoveries.

Oh, don't doubt that I will ever call her house again. If I never talk to her it will be too soon. I didn't blame her for a thing until I called her the first time and found out he lied to her about everything - shocking!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> But since she didn't remove herself from the situation I blame her just as much as I blame him. She is now enabling him in not coming home to his family. I can't imagine what she would want from him, their entire relationship was a lie, she's 23 years old and my H is going to be 36. What a joke!

Anyway - after all the venting, I am starting to feel a little better. Thank you for chatting with me, you've been great!!!

EC - that is really food for thought - STDs and dating services. Yikes! I'll just trust God for any future change in my social calendar, thank you very much, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> LOL

The Pits - I think that is VERY encouraging that your H went to see a priest. I know you're probably in an "extra-stressed" state right now with christening, birthday, and all the other stuff. Hang in there . You are indeed in limbo and you may stay there for a while. Relady gave you great advice. Remember, he is in the fog and is NOT going to be happy or make sense right now. His happiness shouldn't be dependant on a person anyways. It comes from within and so let him wallow in his own misery for a while. I also agree that it sounds like you might should be in Plan B, but only you know the answer to that. Do be familiar with it, though. And DON'T LOSE HOPE!

Relady - I think your comfort zone analogy for hauntings makes a lot of sense.

WGTT - I pray that the intervention is a success. I've had to do that with a couple of people and those who really have hit bottom DO succeed. Sounds like the timing of things will be very good!

DAVEPR - Where are you? Are things OK at your house? Have you forgotten about us?

Wallace - I'm sure you, in your social whirl, have plans for Friday night. Care to let us in on them? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> How jealous should we all be??

Petvet, RMA, FAA - hope your week is going well!

If I missed anyone, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I'm sorry

<small>[ February 12, 2003, 02:17 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Thank Avondale - I appreciate the encouraging words.

I know I belong in Plan B, but am having great difficulty following through on it. I have, thought, limited my contact with him in many ways. I do not initiate contact with him, unless it is necessary, i.e., financial issues, kids, etc. I don't call just to say Hi anymore. I have told him that it hurts me that he is living there and that there is no hope for us as long as he is there. I pretty much said a Plan B letter to him. Basically, I stay to myself and let him see the kids when he can. His work schedule is so erratic that I can't put him to a strict schedule. Also, my kids want to see him.

Speaking of my kids, I was so excited yesterday. I had a parent/teacher conference yesterday and I was afraid all of this was going to affect my son at school. Well, it went wonderful. She had only great things to say about him and I was thrilled. I am trying to keep things as normal as I can, guess I am succeeding at something <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

As for him seeing the priest, I am hopeful and thankful for that. He really needs to talk to someone. He is one messed up pup right now.

Well, I am going home now. Thanks to all of you for your continued support.

Hope you all have a great night. Stay warm! By me it is going to be FREEZING tongiht!!!

Hi All,

See that this thread is pretty busy today... and I hope everyone is having the best day they can.

WGTT...

It is great news that some people care enough to do an intervention with your husband. Hopefully your "H" is willing to listen. In most cases... they have to want help as bad as everyone wants them to seek help... before they will walk the straight line permanently. My prayers will be with you... hopefully your "H" sees the light.

The fall-out from all of it, is quite far reaching. I myself never realized the magnatude of it all... until I went through it myself.

EC...

I have to agree with what you posted. There is so many STDs out there in addition to HIV that it is at an epidemic level.

I have been lucky so far... I was faithful during my "M", and I haven't been running around trying to sew my oats since she left. It is scary to think about. I've heard through the rumour mill that my exW may not be so lucky. She may have started getting her Godsmacks already. I guess you do indeed reap what you sew.

For the time being... I'm happy right where I am... it can always get better... and I'm sure with God's help it will.


Petvet...

The "Hauntings" that I've been going through are somewhat hard to describe... but I'll give it a try.

When I'm sleeping, and sometimes when I'm not sleeping... I can feel her presence. It's like she is there... with me, but in actuality... I know she is not. It's like her spirit is there... it's like I can feel her spirit. It's like she is standing right there... watching... it's a creepy feeling

I can't remember anything in particular as far as my dreams that I have with my exW in it. I just know that she is in my dreams here lately. It wakes me out of dead sleep. I've shot up right out of bed in a cold sweat after a few of them... it's pretty intense. I don't like it at all... and I wish it would end. After one of these episodes... I start praying to please let it stop.

Your one week away from your Court date... anything new, and how are you holding up?

ThePits...

You are in fact in "Limbo", and it's not a good place to be. Keep taking care of yourself (Plan A) and try not let your "H's" actions affect you too much (easier said than done).

You will know when he is ready to come home and make his "M" work... there will be no doubt in your mind. He may be making some positive moves toward achieving that... but it doesn't sound like he is ready to commit to the "M" at this point. He must be willing to break all contact with the "OW", and stick with it before you will be able to salvage your "M".

relady...

I have been to a few motivational seminars... and I think you are on to somethiing there.

The "subconscious self" is fighting with the "conscious self". Moving from the comfort zone to an unexplored area that the subconscious self doesn't feel comfortable with. Did that make any sense to you?

Anyway... it all is making sense to me... and I agree with your summation.

Thanks for the insight on that, for a moment... I thought I was going nuts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

avondale, RMA, FAA, and Is It Too Late...

I hope your day is going well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi avondale...

We cross posted... and I had to come back and give you an update on my "Love Life". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I sent my "lady friend" some roses for Valentine's Day. She won't get the roses until the 14th.

On the card I asked her if she would be my "Valentine".

I'm going to take her out for a nice quiet dinner on Valentine's Day.

Do you think she will be my Valentine? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

How are you doing avondale? Anything new on your end?

I sure am asking a lot of questions. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hope your day is going well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

WALLACE

This lady IS your Valentine, not will she be <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

D.

Hi all! This thread has been busy today.

ThePits: You are indeed in limbo. It is a horrible feeling, but you must learn to deal with it for now. I would strongly recommend that you find something to do on Valentine's Day. Just get out of the house even if you have to treat yourself to dinner. Your H might be headed in the right direction. Give it a little more time. I would not call the OW house. Plan B may be in order.

Wallace: Will she be your Valentine? Yessssssssssssssssssss! Promise us one thing, that you guys won't get married. You may want to carry a fire extinguisher with you to cool things down.

Relady: Yes, you are sending the rain to us again.What are you doing for Valentine's?

Avondale: How about you, sis?

EC: Do you have any plans for Friday?

Me: No, I have not told son about next week. I am trying to forget about it.

Later.

My plans for Valentine's Day - I was planning to not do anything except to drown my sorrows in a box of Godiva chocolates...however, a friend has asked me out so I'm going to do that. Don't worry, she's the wife of one of the elders in our church (he's out of town on business) so this is all OK, lol.

Some of us will have to live a romance vicariously through Wallace and his plans for that evening. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

How about you, Petvet - any plans that you're brave enough to share?

Hi all,

I think my "lady friend" will be my "Valentine" as well. I just thought I would throw in a little humor into my post. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WGTT...

You, and all of the other special ladies on this thread must have ESP. You are all way ahead of me.

We are all very lucky to have the type of wisdom that we have on this thread... everyones input is very much appreciated.

avondale...

You had me reeled in on that last post as I was reading it. I said... "Oh Oh... here it comes, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> and then you set the record straight.

I thought you were going to drop a bomb shell on us for a moment. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You had me fooled. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Petvet...

I'm not planning on getting married... but you know the old saying... "never say never".

Could this be a preview of things to come? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Stay tuned... it may get real interesting in the not too distant future... LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

You know when I start using all these Gremlins... there may be something blowing in the wind... but that's down the road a ways.

ThePits...

I think you need to make yourself a little less accessible (did I spell that right? probably not.) to your "H". Even more than what you have... I noticed somewhat of a pattern with the WS. "They always want what they can't have".

If he thinks your moving on with your life... he might take a second look at what he has got going on.

I'm not quite ready to tell you to go into Plan B quite yet. Only becuae he is taking some positive steps in his life. However... if he falters, or stays stagnet in his situation... you may want to consider going to Plan B. I would not call him, especially when the OW is around... that's a lose, lose, situation all the way around.

In fact... as long as he is still seeing the OW, work your Plan A until you feel you have exhausted any love you may have left for him (without being a doormat). If nothing changes you may want to consider going into Plan B.

Wishing you all a good day.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

<small>[ February 13, 2003, 04:21 PM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!!

I have to admit I thought today was going to be much harder than it has been. H left me a box of chocolates and a card at my MIL house last night for me to get when I picked up the kids. There was a card from him that simply stated "Thinking of you, because I care..." For me it, under the circumstances it was perfect - Not to mushy or phony. I think by getting it last night made today a little easier.

But he calls me today and I get frustrated again. He called to ask if he could take money out of the accout, but won't say what the reason is. This aggravates me, he has major money issues which is one reason we argue a lot. I have to watch the account on a daily basis to keep tabs on him. That's the negative part, the positive part is that he usually doesn't let me know, I always find out after the fact (after I have written out a bunch of bills). I asked why he needed the money, he said he couldn't say. Of course you know what is going through my mind. I told him that if he was taking the money out to spend on her that the answer was no. He said he wansn't but still wouldn't tell me why. He said he didn't want to argue and to forget he asked. I said that I didnt' want to argue either but you are calling me on Valentine's Day to get money out of our account - what do you think I am thinking. He agreed with me and we hung up the phone. It's driving me crazy!

But he did also say that since it is going to snow he is working (he works for a municipality so he does snow plowing)from Midnight tonight to Noon, so if they did have plans they will be short and sweet. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

He also said that he would come by after his shift tomorrow and check on us and give me a chance to get out and run some errands.

Wallace - I agree with you, I need to be more unaccessable. It's strange but it does work. I have to admit though, after I made a comment to him that I look for a reason everyday not to contact a lawyer he has been a little different. It's not much, but a shimmer of hope. Also, I asked if he wanted to see a counselor together and he said that the priest said before we do that to see one on his own. OK, so he's looking to see someone for himself. Something else hopeful. I was impressed he is even considering it since he was adamant about not going to see anyone just a month ago.

Anyway - I hope you and your lady friend have a wonderful dinner tonight.

PetVet - I do consider Plan B everyday, but with the kids it is near impossible. I thought my MIL would support it, but she doesn't seem to understand it when I explain it. She thinks I am pushing him away and that it not right. Oh well, I will figure something out.

I hope all is well for you and you have a great Valentine's day with your son. How is he doing in school lately. I always wonder as I have a son the same age and I am afraid of what this mess my H and I are in does to him. The kids deserve better than all this garbage! I hope all is well.

Avondale - I am with you on the chocolates! Since my H bought me a 2lb box from the kids, I am planning on diving in tonight! Just what I needed for my diet - CHOCOLATE!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Well, I have to go now. Going to my son's school, they are having a Valentine's Day party.

Best wishes to everyone!

WillGetThruThis..I forgot to ask what is happening with the intervention? I hope all goes well!

I was just thinking of you!

ThePits , I can understand your MIL situation; I've been going through similar scenario.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I thought my MIL would support it, but she doesn't seem to understand it when I explain it. She thinks I am pushing him away and that it not right. Oh well, I will figure something out.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Like you, I am on good terms with my in-laws. They are very saddened at what their son has done and the choices he's making. My in-laws are older and my father in-law is not in great health. And I know you understand that blood is thicker than water. I wanted to let you know what happened with me, so you can make sure you aren't caught off guard by anything. It's a mother thing, my MIL couldn't NOT be in contact with her son.

My H was thinking in his foggy state that because his parents were even talking to him, they were supporting his decision to move out (and I think he even took it farther in his fog to think they were OK with his infidelity which is so NOT true <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ). It began to affect ME because here I was, trying to not let my emotions overcome me regarding H, trying to stay distant for my sanity. Since they invited him to their house for the annual family Xmas Eve thing, he also took that as a sign they were all OK with him. But they told me emphatically they weren't. But it was the holidays, so it probably would have been harder on THEM to not include him. (They also invited me but I declined, obviously.)

Bottom line is, due to my H's insistance that they condone what he's doing, I have had to separate myself somewhat from my in-laws too. We used to talk each week on the phone, (not about marriage but other things going on in our lives - after all, they're my kids grandparents) but to be honest, whatever I said probably was said to hubby, because MIL didn't have much else to talk to him about, or because he may have asked. So now we talk less often, and I am careful about what I say.

Anyway, just wanted to give you a "heads up" that in the future, you might have to cut back on how deeply you are involved with his parents too. Especially if they continue to not be tough when you're trying to be. It is just harder for a parent to do Tough Love than it is for a spouse. I'm doing both, so I know <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

<small>[ February 14, 2003, 01:41 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi Guys and Gals,

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hope everyone is doing great!!

At work we had a Valentines Day fruit fest and I made ice smoothies for everybody, I had that mixer crankin <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Here's a real testimony!! My brother is here for the weekend, in 1998 he was diagnosed with diabeties and highblood presure, he was medicated for both. He told me he went to the Dr 2 weeks ago and they declared him free of diabeties, and can't find a trace of it!!! Dr's are scratchin there heads. Now they are about to remove him from the bloodpressure medication in 2 more weeks, He's praisin and thanking God because he knows it's a miracle that God did!!

I am so happy for him!! We need to ask and see God perfom more miracles like this, to me this is proof that you have to see yourself walking healthy again and God will answer you according to your faith to believe in him. My brother could have given up years ago and said there's no hope but he didn't, he started living life despite what came his way, so we must do the samething and realize our pain is not forever and realize a blessing is in your path much greater that what you thought but you have to see yourself healed, you have to believe life can get better than all the betrayal you just went through and God can remove the pain and bring you JOY!.

At first my brother was in the mind set of things would get worse over the years and was down many times thinking how life was where he was at the moment in a cloud of despair at times, feeling unloved, life turned for the worst etc.... but God had another plan and stopped it all, So your pain or sickness does not have to be forever, God has his final say so on the matter, Praise God!!

Me: My CS hearing date is Monday Feb 17th, we'll see how that goes, it will be the moment of truth, I'm gonna have all my facts written down before me so I don't get nervous and forget one thing, I must expose the lies and extortion to bag this thing up once and for all.

Take Care.

Hi All,

I would like to extend a very "Happy Valentine's Day" to everyone... and hope your day goes well.

ThePits...

Your "H" sending you a box of chocolates for Valentine's day is a positive sign...as well as him considering counseling... that's a plus in your favor.

I may be seeing shadows in the dark... but I'm seeing a mixed message coming from your "H". The reason why I say this, is because sometimes a WS will sometimes be a walking contradiction in terms of what they say, and what they do.

In other words, you never really know where you stand with them at any given time.

Your "H" is showing some positive signs... that's why I am not suggesting that you go into Plan B as of yet. Now the question is... is he really trying to get help... in order to salvage your "M"... or is this a tactic to try to buy him some time until he sorts things out, and feels secure and comfortable with what he is doing (i.e., seeing the OW).

Stay in Plan A, but take care of yourself. Your situation could turn on a dime by the sounds of it... hopefully it will be for the better, and not the worse. I'm very skeptical about him at this point... especially with the need for money and keeping it a secret... that worries me.

Prayers to you that your "H" seeks the help he may need in order to put your "M" back together.

As always... avondale gave you some very good insight as to how to deal with your in-laws.

avondale...

I agree with you completely concerning the in-laws. I completely ceased all contact with my in-laws months ago... September of last year was the last time I spoke with any of my exW's family members if I recall correctly.

My exW's family has not spoken to any of my children that are still living with me since then either. IMHO they have some severe issues amongst themselves that they all need to address.

How is that box of Godiva chocolates tasting? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

relady...

I'm getting nervous... hope you are doing well today.

Petvet...

You're coming down the home stretch there my brother... how are you holding up... and how is your son doing?

EC, RMA, Dave, FAA, Is It Too Late...

Hope you are all doing well.

WGTT...

My prayers are with you... I hope the intervention is successful. Let us know how it went.

I hope I didn't miss anyone... if I did I apologize.

Everyone have a great day as well as a great weekend.

Stay Strong!

Wallace