The intervention was postponed by BIL till 11 am Saturday (15th).

Thanks for your prayers and thoughts,

D.

Hi all! I hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day. I had a good Valentine's Day under the circumstances. I had a big surprise waiting for me in the parking lot.(Darn!!!! I got to learn how to use those icons.)

Avondale: How was the chocolates? You better stock up on chocolates now because the price of the sweetees will be going up a lot later this year. It's nice that you had someone to spend time with.

EC: Good luck buddy with your court case tommorrow. Let your exw be countable for what she has done.

ThePits: I would hold off on plan b because your H seems to be in the grey area; however, I would be less assessible. You are correct it is very hard to implement a plan b when you have kids. You can limited contact by using your caller id and not calling him unless it is neccesary.

Wallace: OK, fess up. What happened on Valentine's Day? It got real warm here in the south yesterday. It must have been all the heat created from your date.

Me: I am dreading Thursday. I don't know what to expect. Oh! EC and Wallace, were you more anticipating your freedom or getting rid of all of the craziness which was the double lives of your exw's and the trouble they brought to the table right before your D?

Later.

Hi,
I've been at a soccer tournament most of the weekend. WH never met with WIL, denied that he has a problem, that he can quit anytime ( <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> yah, right)that he is comming back to Florida as soon as he completes the transfer of the company.

I am freaking out - I don't want him here, he's arrogant, rude and on drugs or crashing. D. goes balistic when he's here and spends most of the time away.

Gotta go, it's D's 17 birthday & we are doing a family dinner at a restaurant tonight. D finally got a car - a used Honda Civic. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Thank God, I can have my SUC back!!!!

I hope all is well with everyone.

D.

EC - Just wanted you to know I'll be praying for you tomorrow. Although the courts here are canceled due to all the icy weather. Hopefully yours won't be postponed and you can get this behind you. I know you'll do fine in your presentation! Get back with us as soon as you can with the outcome.

WGTT - I'm sorry the intervention didn't happen, and I imagine you're discouraged. I hope you know that's not uncommon, it's more like a false start. Other opportunities may present themselves. Does this mean you'll have to go ahead with the decision about getting a D now? I got the impression that might be on hold due to latest developments (before this weekend). Keep us posted.

Petvet - You had a surprise waiting for you in the parking lot? Come on, spill the beans! I promise not to tease ya too bad <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> And why will the price of chocolates go up later this year? Is this some sort of economic turnaround that Wall Street predicted? btw, you're still on my list for prayer Thursday. I know you have mixed feelings, hang in there!

I'm officially worried about Dave and Relady now

Hope everyone else survived the Valentine's Day storm! I was stuck inside with my box of Godivas Sat & Sun because of the weather. Guess how many are left? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> LOL

Hi Guys and Gals,

Well I had my day of court for the CS modification its final. Instead of $800 I was paying they modified it to $450 but then said I still owed arrearage so that brought it up to $600 but then exw owe's me back support only from Oct when I filed instead of May, that will bring it down a little. Lesson to be learned, In FL you can only claim overpaid CS from the date you filed for it and not the months owed to you, therefore I lost 4 months of over payments, but overall I'm paying less, any payments I make extra reduces the amount they withhold from my payroll so thats good. I have to pay until May 2004 when YD finishes HS.

During the session exw was lying so much it was unreal. I tried to contain myself because I was fumming. I did bring up the issues of exw's lying on her papers submitted to the court and the CS Officer did acknowledge exw did commit "PERJURY" stating OD was NOT 18 and in highschool and told me to file it with State Attorneys office for prosecution...So she's in some hotwater there..

Anyway she can't come after me no more, she's been sealed off for good. Now I'm trying to regroup, she sounded so vindictive and full of greed, she's a angry woman.

Take Care.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">the CS Officer did acknowledge exw did commit "PERJURY" stating OD was NOT 18 and in highschool and told me to file it with State Attorneys office for prosecution...So she's in some hotwater there.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">EC please consider that filing does NOT mean you would be acting out of vengeance, but out of a moral imperative for justice for not only yourself but others in the future.

EC
Well you got through it my brother friend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I know you're glad to have that CS hearing behind you. And it sounds as if the amount is fair - do you agree?

Have you considered informing your daughters about the outcome? That way, if (or when) there is less disposable income for their household with mom, they will know that it was because the court changed it and NOT because you are paying less (because your exw could lie and say you're holding back <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> )

I agree with TMCM (or is he now only CM?-- I miss his coffee chant on the signature line, LOL). Are you considering filing with the State Attorney's office about her lying about OD's age?

I think you're going to be fine regrouping!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Anyway she can't come after me no more, she's been sealed off for good. Now I'm trying to regroup, she sounded so vindictive and full of greed, she's a angry woman.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">EC, I bet your glad that part is over!

Avondale, I still have an appointment with the attorny on the 25th, and never thought about changing it. Once I meet and ask questions, I can determine what the best course of action is for me and the kids.

You are right, it can take more than once. Sometimes they never get it. In a conversation with WH's friend, I told him that just because it didn't work now, doesn't mean it never will.

WH still keeps saying he will be home for his 50th BD (23rd). A part of me says to call and not let him come to the house till he gets help and another part of me says to let him come home and then do it.

All in all, I don't want WH for a husband the way he is. If he was striving to be the man God intended him to be then it would be up to God to show us how to get past all this F***ing crap (I don't usually swear) As I am writing this, part of me says I am F'g crazy to even consider that! But I have seen miracles in AA. There are many with long term sobriety that are some of the finest people I know. I have also seen people who have rode the "dump truck" all the way to the dump and end up dying a nasty alcoholic death.

Did you say you dealt with this in your family? Was it your kid(s)?

To everyone else I hope you have a great evening. I have barely been skimming these boards so I don't mean to ignor you, just about on overload these days.

D.

coffeman,

Whaddya do, switch to decaf? lol <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

D.

Tmcc and avondale - I hear what you're saying, it's not being vindictive but responsible. She purposed to extort money from me and submitted false documents to do it. I wonder how my OD would feel if she knew exw used her as the center of the lie.

The court dropped OD and said I was done after she got out of HS in May 2002 but because I failed to file CS Mod I paid longer than I should have.

Should I tell YD/OD? I probably should because any seperate payments I make from the normal amout will reduce the monthly amount I pay and by the end of the year they will see less and less income to the house.

At this point as you can tell, I can't put anything past exw, she'll try anything. This is what I mean by she has the kids brainwashed, she will lie even if it means breaking the law and so blatant and bold with it. Prior to this my family and friends around me thought I was over dramatizing what I've been going through since 2000 until they actually saw her do this and they now know what I've been through more than ever.

It's amazing, in early 2001 I told exww, I said the same law you use against me unjustly while you're in your affairs and adultery will oneday bite you back and be used against you and here we are in 2003 dealing with her "Perjury" without me ever trying nothing, she always had the upper hand and just dragged me along through the legal system at her will. She's been the spider binding people and things in her web with her poison words and actions, affairs, deceit and lying.

A spiders greatest fear is "fire" it's web is weak and powerless in it's presence....Let your passion burn and you watch your spider [WH/WW] succumb to feel powerless, when they realize they can't hold you down or back, they will eventually chase you. Shake the web and watch them come running. You see, they know you're good but have you wrapped up too for a later time, they say let us be friends to keep the web attached just in case, but shake the web and watch them come running they think they got something new or something is getting away and they go running after it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by WillGetThruThis:
<strong>coffeman,

Whaddya do, switch to decaf? lol <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

D.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> NO WAY. Heaven forbid <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

What happened was that I was experimenting with changing my username and I couldn't get the old TMCM back. That's what happens when you fool around. I feel so guilty <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Hi all!

EC: I'm glad that everything worked out to some degree to your benefit concerning the CS. I would follow through with the perjury charge against your ex with the district attorney; however, I would not expect the DA to go after her real hard, but at least file the paperwork. You made it through the court session.

Coffeeman: Where have you been? I'm glad you are back with us.

WGTT: You seem to be torturing yourself about whether to file or not. Go with your intuition and not with your heart. Your heart can guide you in the wrong direction.

Avondale: The reason chocolate prices are going up is that there is a war in the Ivory Coast where over 70% of cocoa is produce. Unless the civil war ends soon, prices will increase. As you well know, several countries in Africa are having civil wars.

Me: Two days and counting.

Later.

Hi All,

Petvet - I agree I need to follow through on the perjury, I know I won't be doing it for the reason to see her go to prison but she does need to be accountable for her actions...

It's like this, when a child steals and are old enough to understand the legal aspect of what they've done, oneway to cure that child is to take your child and place him or her in the hands a police officer down at the jail and let them spend some time there as they would treat a adult offender, boy that will sober that kid up quick...my brother did that with his son very early so that it wouldn't spread to the next one.

So exw needs to get into the hands of the law and get entangled in the legal system of her own mess she created, that way she'll know she better not ever try to steal from me again. So I'm going to pursue this perjury issue.

Take Care

Hi All,

I hope everyone had a very good weekend, as well as a "Happy" Valentines day.

I wasn't around yesterday due to the fact that I just am starting to get back up and around from a dinner that I ate this past Saturday night. Seems that all of a sudden... I am allergic to 'Jumbo Shrimp". Had a very bad reaction to it... first time ever. So I guess no more shrimp for me... it's too bad because I love sea food... especially shrimp.

EC...

Congrats on your court case! Except for the perjury charge... you should be winding down with the courts... to bad she had to perjure herself.

I would try to explain the situation as best you can to your daughters... shed some light on it from your perspective... rather than have it a one sided story coming from your exW.

If the Courts are going to follow through with the perjury charges... I would follow through with it as well.

Petvet...

When I was coming up on my final Court hearing... I was looking to end all the craziness. Unfortunately it didn't end... as I have the attorneys in motion as we speak to have my exW's name removed from my house and car titles, as well as the contempt of court CS issue. So as you can see... it's not over with... I'm not sure if it will ever end.

My prayers are with you, as you are very near your final court day. Have you had any contact with your "stbxw", and has she had contact with your son? How is your son doing?

Hnag in there... it won't be as bad as you may think.

WGTT...

I'm sorry to hear that the intervention did not take place. In order to lead a full life of sobriety... they have to want it as bad as all that are concerned. IMHO he doesn't appear to be even close to acheiving that. In order for them to come out of it... most... need to do a crash and burn... before they will straighten out as sad as that is to say. I would insist that he refrain from any drugs or alchohol before he enters your home... if that is his intentions. You don't need anymore craziness going on at this point... your doing too good to allow that to happen.

avondale...

I'm with you... I'm getting worried about relady. She usually checks in on Mondays... hopefully we will hear from her today. Dave is probably doing well... otherwise we would of heard something from him.

Did you save me any chocolates? Hopeflly I'm not allergic to them... I just received a whole box of them from my "lady friend" for Valentine's Day.

Me...

I had a very nice Valentine's Day... until the allergic reaction with the shrimp.

This is a very interesting week for me as well. My Birthday is Saturday... and what use to be my wedding anniversary is on Monday (I feel triggers coming already). So it's still getting interesting.

I hope everyone has a good day today.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

I forgot this one, exw tried to get me to support OD 19 for the next 4-5 years. Exw submitted in writting this is what I wanted to do just because I said I wanted to help OD while she is away from home attending college which she is not away, the hearing officer backed exw down and said, "The law does not require him to support her past 18 and out of HS and it could only happen if you two agreed in which I see your exh is no way in agreement with you, therefore your OD is emancipated", so that was another pop to her bubble of lies.

petvet

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> WGTT: You seem to be torturing yourself about whether to file or not. Go with your intuition and not with your heart. Your heart can guide you in the wrong direction.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you, I needed to read that because my head head is saying file for dv & get away from all this craziness. My head also reconizes when I am not feeling right about a situation that is not good for me. My heart lies to me and tells me we will live happily ever after.I am not going to settle for crumbs.

What Wallace said to you about it may not be "over" when everything is finalized, may likely be true. darn, they literally "screwed" us, now they want to .... well never mind, I'll stop here, just feeling antsy.

Wallace I hope everything is ok. Allergic reactions can be very severe. I used to work in an allergy clinic where violent allergic reactions could very easily happen. Glad you had a wonderful Valentines Day.

EC I have read most of what has been going on with your EXW & it never ceases to amaze me that liars think they are so smart and that everyone will believe what they say. Grrrr. EC, do think this through, I hear what others are saying and agree but also consider, how important is it? Is it really important to you to go through all of this? I am not saying that you shouldn't, just to really think this through as there may be consequences that are greater than you thought.

me My OS is really (REALLY) sick. He went back to Jacksonville today against my wishes cuz his roomate had to get back. I know he's 21, but I'm still a MOM! He may have shingles. UUUGGGHH, it is so painful from the looks of it.

To everyone else I hope you have had a good day <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> will have a great night <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> and an even better tomorrow. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

D.

Hi all!

WGTT: Make sure that you keep a check on your son because shingles is nothing to play with. I had them, and they are ugly and painful. Is your son going through a lot of stress?

Wallace: I hope you feel better. My son's mother has spent time with him. I realize that I will have to keep my attorney for the next 13 or 14 years. I just want to detach myself from the craziness.

Relady: Where are you?

Dave has disappeared!

Me: One day and counting.

Later.

Hi All,

Petvet - Wow, one more day my heart goes out to you, I know the feeling, very mixed emotions, but you'll make it.

WGTT - Yes, I've been thinking if I want to spend my time emotionally trying to convict exw and the more I think about, the more I want to abandon the idea. At this point I'm done I can completly move on and shut the door. The hearing officer did acknowledge she committed perjury so she is aware what she did, does she have any guilt from it? I don't know, will she try to take me to court again? I doubt it, now that she knows that's hanging over head I'm sure she wants to stir clear of a court room again. I'm sure if YD wanted to come live with me I'm sure she wouldn't put up a fight because she would fear she may get questioned and face the perjury issue again....So she kinda did her ownself in....

After I stepped back and looked, I really got everything I ask for Monday, was just hoping for a little less on CS payments but as the Hearing Officer said it's only 14 more months and to file the emancipation for YD in April 2004, plus she said for every extra dollar I pay reduces the monthly amount between now and then....So at this point I may just let it all die and rid myself of exw issues and let the guilt of her affairs and other things stay in her circle....I did let OD know what happened just in case exw lied and also with OD coming of age I let her know that I'm still there for her as I was before the court got involved.....

I look and ask?

What has exw gained by her affairs and adultery?? Nothing but shame, guilt, disaster and embarrasment..Can you imagine a woman that got caught by her Husband, kids heard content of her conversations with those men, she's hit hard financially, then she's so desperate for money she submits false documents to the court and told you committed perjury!...She's punished herself alone I don't need to do anything, she's not a happy person at all, how could you be after all that?....She has been with OM for 2+ years now but things are not going well....

Take Care

Hey All,

I hope you're all having a wonderful week. It's been very hectic for me. I've been concentrating on my business and really just taking a break. When I get distracted, my business suffers! (the life of a commissioned salesperson! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> )

I had a great Valentine's Day, I allowed no triggers in. It's amazing what your mind can do when you train it.

Petvet,

I'll be praying for you tomorrow. Try to stay up mentally, it's really all that we can control.

Wallace,

You just gave us that 'shrimp story' so you wouldn't have to tell us what really happened. First the fire, then the shrimp, you're just trying to throw us off the scent! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
We all know April 1st is coming. You can tell me, I promise to be gentle. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

EC

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I've been thinking if I want to spend my time emotionally trying to convict exw and the more I think about, the more I want to abandon the idea. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I definitely agree with you. It's really not worth it, she is suffering enough. If you rrreeeaalllyy wanted to, you could give her the 14 months CS up front and by the time she gets to next month it will be gone. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Then she has no place else to go. And you can live in peace.

WGTT

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I needed to read that because my head head is saying file for dv & get away from all this craziness. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Will that really get you away from the craziness? Are those your emotions talking or have you really inquired of the Lord? As you know, in Him You Can escape. So don't make any emotional decisions. Spend time with the Lord, and let Him lay out His plan for you.
Be Still (quiet your mind) and move forward at the right time, not to escape but in Purpose.

Check out the Bible Studies on rejoicenet.net, they have been a blessing to me. It's Charlyne at Rejoice Ministries.

Avondale,

How are you? How did your H respond to your tax situation?

Everyone Else,

Have a great and wonderful day.

God Bless,
relady

Petvet -just wanted you to know I was thinking about you - and will be praying extra for you tomorrow! Let us know how it goes.

Wallace - At least your throat didn't swell up, or did it? Sorry about the shrimp thing - we have great shrimp here on the southern coast. Happy Birthday!

WGTT - Sorry your son is sick - it's hard to turn off the "mom" button! You know what Petvet said is true about our hearts/heads; and we just all need to hear it (or read it) as a reminder. I am sure I'll need y'all to remind me of it later this summer.

EC - WGTT made a very good argument for dropping the court issue. I hadn't thought of that at all. Isn't it wonderful that there is such a great group on this thread? You get all the collected wisdom from a diverse bunch of people...so when one misses, the other one aims straight!

Relady - GREAT to hear from you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Me - Hubby is dragging his feet about giving me info for taxes. I know I really caught him by surprise with my filing separately. I have a feeling he didn't pay any estimated taxes for his playing gigs. I may have to get a little tougher about needing the info - at this point all I've done is send two polite, sweet e-mails (cuz I'm a polite, sweet girl). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />