Hi all,

mommax8...

I can understand your apprehension... for one reason... what your "H" is saying and actually doing seems to be two different things.

How can he want to put his "M" back together by spending the weekend with you and the kids and then taking off for the summer?

In my estimation it just doesn't add up.

IMHO, your setting yourself up and your children for more heartache and heartbreak.

What has he really shown you and done here lately to make you think he really wants to put the "M" back together.

Be careful and take care of yourself and your children and don't read anything more into it than you already are seeing, until he is ready to put more of an effort into his "M".

EC...

Glad to hear that things are working in the positive mode for you. It gives me something to consider and look forward to. I would love to reach that plain... I'm not sure when I'm going to... but I'll just keep pluging away at it.

relady...

It's good to hear from you. I wasn't sure if you fell of the face of the earth or not.

Just to try to put my situation into perspective... I'm not trying to extract revenge from my exW and her b/f. What I "AM" trying to do... is stop them from continuing their ongoing antics once and for all.

I have filled out all the affidavits and filed all the necessary papers hopefully to either have them locked up for what they have done, or at minimum... have the legal system put a big enough scare into them to get them to stop what they are doing and go live their lives out without trying to ruin my life or my children's lives.

If that doesn't get it... I have every intention of filing suit against both of them to recover damages as setforth and when I don't collect... file an unsatisfied judgement against them... and let that sit on their credit record for awhile.

Just maybe... that might slow them down just a tad.

I just want her to cut all strings and ties from me and have her go her merry way... nothing more.. nothing less.

I hope that puts some clarification as to what my intentions are.

Make no mistake about it though... I am very upset about this latest incident... and it's going to take me awhile to get over it. In fact, I'm going to Church tonight and continue to try to learn to forgive. It's not easy... I'm working on it and I haven't thrown in the towel.

With the Lord's help, I'll get past it... it's just going to take some time. I was doing real good... and then this happened. I have been through worse (my marriage for one). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Petvet...

I'm surprised avondale let you get off the hook like that so easy. It must be the time of the year (Spring time)... everything comes alive in the Spring... or so they say.

avondale...

I'm waiting to see what you have to say to Petvet now that he has his vest on. Are you going to let him off easy too! LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hope your day goes well everyone.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Mommax8 (mx8)
I'm confused. How does your husband manage to NOT work all summer and NOT support his family? Has he definitely said that? And are you saying that his own father knows, and may be encouraging it (by allowing your H to go on the trip with him)? Something is very wrong with this picture. At the very least, your H is doing something called "cake eating". It used to be a more prominent phrase heard here on MB - having his cake (you & family) and eating it too (his freedom from responsibility). And you and his father are enabling that. It's only natural that resentment would creep in your heart. If he misses you, as he says, then tell him to prove it by sticking around, or at least supporting you guys. You're right - you two will have to have a serious talk this weekend, and you will need for him to put his money where his mouth is. And also you will need to guard your heart and be strong - because when you're together, as a family, it will get real cozy and you'll wish it would always be like that. But remember, if he's not going to pull his weight of responsibility (financially, emotionally, and other ways like being sober) then you do need to have another plan - and since you just filed for D, that may be your other plan. If you go on government assistance (you may already be getting it) would that help you at all financially?

Bottom line - his actions speak what is in his heart at this point. His words may be saying "I miss you and I'm going through h**l" but his actions are NOT in line with that. He's using you, whether he means to or not. Have you read the "Love Must Be Tough" book by James Dobson? If not, you need to get it ASAP from amazon.com. It will really help you be strong through this. Focus on having this Easter be a good memory for your kids, because I think it may be a time of truth and reckoning for your husband.

<small>[ April 16, 2003, 05:28 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Avondale,

Thanks!

D.

<small>[ April 17, 2003, 12:32 PM: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</small>

Hey y'all
Happy Friday, hope everyone has an extra day off work this weekend! We're having a major outreach to unchurched ppl at our church Sunday and I get to set up danish and coffee for several hundred ppl very early that morning <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I have posted a question elsewhere on the D/D board and if anyone here has time to respond, I'd appreciate it. Here's the link:
Question of the Day

Thanks!

Hi all,

Tomorrow will mark the one year date that my exW walked out of our home, and out of our marriage.

I came to this thread and was welcomed by Petvet, RMA, and Davepr.

I was a real mess then... and I still am a mess now... just not as bad.

If not for them, avondale, EC, relady, WGTT, Free Indeed, and many many others on this board... I'm not sure I would of been able to get as far as I have over the past year.

It has now come to a point... where it's time for me to move on and finish the last remaining things left in my failed marriage and go about continuing making positive changes in my life.

It is at this point that I am probably going to follow in the footsteps of RMA and Davepr... check in from time to time and see how everyone is doing and post when I feel I can add some useful advice.

To all of you... thank you for being here... you are all truly a Godsend.



Petvet...

Good luck with your new G/F. I am so happy for you that you were able to find someone in which to share your feelings, desires, hopes and dreams. Good for you my friend... you deserve that kind of companionship.

avondale...

Through all that you have endured to this point you are in fact a shining star that the Lord will truly bless.

My prayers are with you. Good luck with your neice's wedding no matter what you decide to do... and continue the path you have let the Lord allow you to follow.

EC...

Good luck with school and the Real Estate courses. You have got your priorities straight and I'm sure you will be successful in all that you undertake. I hope your YD comes to live with you... I know how much that means to you.

Blessing to you always.

relady...

Your situation as far as the no contact with your spouse mirrors mine in so many ways and you have stood tall with the Armour of God... and your standing tall. You are an inspiration and my prayers are with you always.

keep up the good work.

WGTT...

Keep fighting the fight with all that you have going on... and never give up.

May the Lord stand by your side, and lead you to the path he wishes you to take.

mommax8...

As I have stated... be careful. Guard your emotions and protect your children as well during this time this weekend.

I pray that everything works in the positive direction for you this weekend.

Good luck everyone in all that you undertake.

Hope you all have a wonderful Easter.

As always...

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi all:

Wallace: I'm sad to hear you go. You have offered so many good advice to me and many others, but I know you have to do what you have to do. I wish you well friend, and goo luck with your family and G/F. Question: Is putting this thread behind you part of the recovery process of getting away from the bad memories of your your marriage?

Mommax8: I think "Tough Love" is in order. The book that Avondale referenced is a good resource. Remember to keep your boundaries.

Avondale, EC, Relady: What are we going to do woithout Wallace? Do you think this thread is continuing to benefit folks?

Have a wonderful Easter everyone!

Thanks.

Wallace, I wish you wouldn't leave. You are such a solid source of wisdom! I also wonder, like Petvet, if leaving this thread (or the board) is necessary to move on...

Petvet ,now that you have a g/f, will you be posting less? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> If Wallace leaves, and you post less, there won't be much going on here and I'll feel abandoned. The people on this thread are the ones I really trust here at MB.

Relady , where are you???????

Hi again Petvet and avondale,

I'm getting ready to leave work here in a about a half hour and I thought I would just drop by before I left and answer your questions.

The main reason why I feel that I should probably bid everyone goodbye... is I feel right at the moment I really don't have anything constructive to offer anyone at this point in time.

After what recently happened... I am very upset, and I probably wouldn't be able to help anyone at this particular time.

So I felt it best to drop off, so I wouldn't let my unpleasantness spill onto one of the best threads on these boards. It doesn't have anything to do with my recovery. I still have a long way to go in that area.

I'm still a mess, and being in this state doesn't really do anyone here really any good.

Please don't shut this thread down... as it still has a lot to offer for all concerned.

IMHO, it's still the best thread on the boards.

Once I can get my act together... I want to be able to come back and be able to offer some sound advice to all that are going through the troubles as they present themselves.

You are all the best around.

Have a very "Happy Easter".

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Wallace ,
I can't believe what I'm reading <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The main reason why I feel that I should probably bid everyone goodbye... is I feel right at the moment I really don't have anything constructive to offer anyone at this point in time. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">HELLO ?!?!?!? You almost ALWAYS have constructive things to say! (I only say "almost" because you had momentary lapses when your g/f was up for discussion.)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> After what recently happened... I am very upset, and I probably wouldn't be able to help anyone at this particular time
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK, then what about us supporting you? Are you going to dis us just because you're going through a rough time? Something isn't right about that.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm still a mess, and being in this state doesn't really do anyone here really any good. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We are ALL still messes! Has something additional happened today that's got you feeling this way?

Wallace, you're a faithful poster! You are VERY level-headed and to be honest, lately there hasn't been a lot of that around the entire forum. Don't feel like you have to say something EVERY day - maybe that was overwhelming to you. But don't just drop off the earth like you alluded to either! We want you to stick around!

Hi all!

Wallace: I agree 125% with what Avondale had to say. You always have something good to say and don't think that you have to post everyday. After you made your announcement, I was going to talk to Avondale, Relady, EC, and some others about whether they thought it would be a good idea to shut this thread down. Don't get me wrong, I want to stay here and try to help people. I think it's the least I can do to support those who are going through a living hell in their lives. Granted for a while there, I was very busy and could not post as regularly as I wanted, but I am back. I feel kinda odd thinking about leaving the thread just because my situation looks better. There are others out whose situation is not good, and we have others like Avondale,Relady, Mommax8 (new kid on the block) who have unfinished business. Don't get me wrong, I miss RMA's and Dave's comments and wish they were more active, but if there is a need for this thread, I would like to keep it open. You appear to be MAD as hell at your exw. Please don't let your anger get the best of you. As I told you earlier, do what you need to do to get that beast out of your life. Just be glad that you are not married to her anymore, and that she is someone else's problem.

Avondale: I'm not going anywhere. Do you think G/F is a good way to describe my buddy? Granted things are on fire (don't laugh Wallace!).

HELP! Can someone give me a quick lesson in using those darn icons? I feel so dumb not being able to figure them out. Are there instructions somewhere?

Later.

Hey All,

Wallace

What in the world are you thinking? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

It's times like these that we should be here for each other. Believe me, you need a good sounding board and we're it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You can't allow your X to continue to put you on the skids. You're giving her way too much power.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your situation as far as the no contact with your spouse mirrors mine in so many ways </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sooooo, what happens when I need your input? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Then again, are you trying to throw us off the scent and get married in secret like RMA??

Or are you saying your 'stay strong' byline was for us and not you?? I think not!

Petvet

All you really have to do is click on the icons! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Now for you, It sounds as though your gf has more of the problem with age. Tell her to relax, in fact, if there is ever another in my life, he will definitely be younger. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I think around the age of 50, women really start to have major confidence in themselves, hence the younger man. Now the question is, can you handle the attention??

Avondale

I tried to get back to you on your question on the other thread, but I got really busy. Have you answered your H yet.

Since you have also had a relationship with these same people for 24+ years, I see no reason why you shouldn't go whether your H goes or not.

Just make sure you're very polite and look good, smell good and have fun. You don't have to answer any questions only to say you're not together and leave it at that!

Go and make him eat his heart out! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

God Bless,
relady

Good Morning All,

I'm still here.

I hope everyone had a very nice Easter Sunday.

I had a nice Easter cookout with all my kids at the house in spite of all the downed trees and branches in the backyard.

After reading your posts... I came to the conclusion that I'm probably making too harsh of a move and it is probably best that I stay and see if I can't in fact do any good... for myself as well as for others.

I am mad as hell at my exW over this latest incident make no mistake about that. Will it ever end? I don't see it happening... at least not in the near future.

Just for the record... there is talk of marriage between myself and my G/f. if we do though... it won't be in secret and probably not until sometime next year.

I have to clear this mess up that I have before me, before I make any other far reaching moves.

I hope everyone has a great day today.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Wallace ,
I'm sooooo glad you decided to stay around. But then you drop the bombshell (actually it isn't really a bombshell but that word just seemed appropriate, LOL)
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Just for the record... there is talk of marriage between myself and my G/f. if we do though... it won't be in secret and probably not until sometime next year.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I feel compelled to remind you of statements you made only 6 weeks ago:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I went ahead and called my "lady friend" yesterday. I thought it was something that needed to be done... be it good bad or indifferent.

After a very long telephone conversation... she accepted the fact that I'm not going to make any knee jerk moves... and I am going to take things at my own pace. She is willing to just date, and not expect anything more than that for the time being. She indicated that she would not want to pressure me into M, and she would wait, when I know that I am ready to make such a commitment.

So at the moment... everything is moving at the pace that I have setforth... slow... very very slow. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Then there is one made more recently </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No expectations of M at the moment... and she said she would wait for me for however long it takes. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't you just love the "quote" feature here?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Hope I haven't scared you away <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> What happened to that "Down Boy" spray?

Welcome back big bro! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> You guys can't leave until the rest of us have our stories completed!

Petvet - All you have to do is click (using your left side mouse button) on the "instant graemlins" in the lower left corner of the screen and the smiley of your choosing will appear <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Maybe you are typing on a mac computer???

Relady - I have decided (at least, as of today) that I will go to wedding but then leave, not staying for reception (I don't think I am that strong right now). Your response did bring a smile to my face, though
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Just make sure you're very polite and look good, smell good and have fun. You don't have to answer any questions only to say you're not together and leave it at that!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">When I read that I had just come in from mowing the grass and I sure did stink. I wondered where that "smell good" comment came from, LOL

Mx8 - are you still here? How did it go, seeing your H over Easter?

<small>[ April 22, 2003, 09:39 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi All,

avondale...

I do love how well those quotes work... LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Everything was going so good concerning the quotes that I made until this weekend.

My G/F kicked in about marriage again... out
of the blue she made this statement.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

I think you would be perfectly happy just dating me for the rest of your life, and not ever consider changing a thing concerning our relationship.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well... I was about floored when I heard that... I was at a total loss for words. I didn't know what to say... so I blurped out, "that's not exactly a true statement".

Here I thought we had come to an understanding... at least for the time being... and now I find myself right back in the soup again.

I called her this morning to see if she has got herself out of what I'm going to call her "dark mood".

It hasn't happened... she is still in a not so hot mood. So I told her to give me a call this afternoon and we would go out shopping tonight. I'll see if I can't cheer her up a little.

My Mom's Birthday is today, my YD's birthday is Friday, my son's car electrical system burned up and his car is now junk.

Bought him another car last night... which he agreed to pay me back and make payments to me.

It's been a real doozy of a month so far... so much going on with so little time.

I think I need a nice long vacation. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

The fun just keeps on coming... LOL


Petvet...

When you get ready to post... in the lower bottom left hand corner there is two boxes there under options. Check to see if the "disable Graemlins in this post" box has a check mark in it. If it does... click on it and uncheck it. If it is already unchecked... you should be able to click on the icons at will and add them to your post.

Also check to see just above that... that the UBB Code is enabled. It show show up as a red letter print if it in fact is. If it isn't click on it, and hopefully that should get you where you need to be.

relady, EC, momax8... and everyone else...

Hope everyone has a great day.

Stay strong!

Wallace

Well Friday, the kids and I were sitting in the hotel parking lot at 2:00pm as that was the time they were to arrive, we waited and waited then I get a call on my cell that he would not be able to leave because his dad was sick. He knew about this at 10:30am and just then called me as the kids and I were waiting. Needless to say their hearts and mine as well were crushed but we made the best of it and waited until the next day to see him.. He arrived the next day at 2:30pm and like I expected he was just like he was when he left totally drugged out and could barely keep his head up. We took the kids swimming and he just kind of sat there, he kept asking me why I was looking at him so strange, well he has gained nearly 30lbs since I had seen him last and eyes were very glazed. We then got to the room and fed the kids dinner, and got them ready for bed, he then just passed out about 7:30pm. Well he did what I expected he hugged me and kissed me when he saw me but that was about it, he told me how much he missed me and that he can't live without me and that we will be together...Anyway nothing happened so that was a saving grace of course he was catatonic so obviously the Lord was looking out for me. The kids even said "Mom is dad high?" What do you say to that....I just told them that he was very tired from the trip that was all. My oldest daughter promptly reminded me that it was because of his medication....you can't fool them no matter how hard you try....Well the next day was Easter and we were suppose to go to church, my mother had bought all of them new outfits and shoes and was crushed when we didn't show, I feel so badly for that we then she made sure she was going to get even and let me know exactly what she thought of me....well that night the kids said goodbye to their father and he and I and my husbands father went to dinner to discuss the future arrangements ect....my father went crazy and wrote down the license plate of the car and said if I was not home in 2 hours he was calling the police, which was totally unwarranted...he was screaming he has control now .........so I feel totally out of control and feel as though I have no control of anything... I was very distraught....my kids told me they loved me and not to worry that it was ok...I hated to leave but they wanted me to talk to their dad, they somehow thought I could convince him to stay....Anyway I went that night with them and when we began talking I just fell apart, I told him everything that the kids and I have gone through since he left and the hurt and pain and that if he loved me he would never have done this too us...and of course his reply is that he does love us he just couldn't live in the same house with my parent's anymore, even though it was his idea. He chose his own peace of mind over his family and that is what is killing me, that me and the kids aren't worth fighting for that he doesn't love me enough to not let me go....I can't even begin to describe the pain, I know you all understand what I am talking about. WELL THEN I CRUMBLE INTO HIS ARMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!He wouldn't let me go home he got us a hotel room and just like old times the only thing that was never screwed up was our sex life and I made a huge mistake.....Everyone told me what was going to happen and I thought I could be strong and there I was begging and pleading again to please not leave and he drove off without a look back, I am back to ground zero and feel so cheap.....my kids are acting out today...my son is to be sent to juvenile hall tomorrow because of his anger...I have been hurt all over again. I have to keep to plan b I can't do this again. He tells me he wants us together and that if we get counseling we can be together again that if I do what I need to....not him..he says I need to wait for him until he gets it together and he will come and see me every 2 weeks (just to have sex) and then go back again.....he doesn't care about the finances or day to day living and raising the children.....I have to let go of him I can't do this anymore......I have to be strong but it hurts too bad....I had 24hours without the pain, and now its back again and I feel like he betrayed me all over again.....OH please help me to be strong.....

Hi Mommax8,

I just finished reading both your posts.

avondale has given you some great advice on the one thread.

Being a guy... I unfortunately saw this one coming. That's why I tried to tell you to protect yourself and your children. What you described in your post is almost exactly what I felt was going to happen.

I'm sorry that you had to go through this, and I wish the outcome had been better for both you and your children.

You need to get you and your children into see a counselor. If your "H" wants to be a part of it... then so much the better.

Right now you are enabling him. If he is an addict of any sort... you must stop enabling him and start putting your foot down and taking control of your life as well as your childrens... and remove yourselves from his actions until he is ready to seek the help that he needs.

IMHO, it appears that you are very Co-dependent at this point which is not good for either of you. The two don't mix very well (an addict and a Co-dependent).

Going to Al-Anon or a Narc-Anon meeting would be a great step to take in order for you to realize the steps that you are probably going to have to take in order for you to deal with what you have going on.

I would definitely nix the idea of seeing him every two weeks until he is ready to get the help he needs.

You may need to go into a Plan B if things don't start turning themselves around. He is not going to seek any help until he feels that he is going to do a crash and burn.

Sometimes a person such as this has to lose it all before they turn themselves around.

You may not know it... but you just took a step possibly in the right direction. You have realized that you cannot continue like this.. so you know must take the proper steps to allieviate this situation.

Don't fall for this tactic again... unless you want to relive the pain over and over and over again.

For you and your children's sake go and seek the help that you and your children need.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi All,

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.

Avondale

Thank you for keeping Wallace on the straight and narrow when I'm not here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> But we really need to let him in on the 'trick questions' women ask, I think he has forgotten. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Wallace

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think you would be perfectly happy just dating me for the rest of your life, and not ever consider changing a thing concerning our relationship.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That was a statement that should not require an answer or discussion. It's like we're both standing in the mirror and I say, "This dress makes me look fat" and I dare you to agree. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Get the picture? However, you have learned one remedy well, GO SHOPPING, that always cheers a girl up.

God Bless,
relady

<small>[ April 23, 2003, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: relady ]</small>

Hi Everyone,

Hope everyone is doing ok?

Nothing new happening here or I should say worth posting.

Mommax8 - I'm sorry to see all that happen to you. A plan b is not a bad idea, however as Wallace said, work on you, you will make it through this, its not forever.

Wallace - I'm glad you decided to stay, don't let what your exw do shut you down in your progression out of the mess. You will see odd and eratic behavior..Don't be to surprized

Me: Eventhough I declared no more war with exw, she started one this week, however its over, what an emotional drain.

I have an understanding that you cannot mix Clay and iron together to become one

Also I have an understanding that you cannot yoke an OX and donkey together, the OX will strive to work and get the job done, while the donkey will kick and buck the whole time just like a typical ([censored]\donkey)

You make sure you know who you're hooked up with or trying to mold with. Clay and iron under the fire of life with seperate.

Take Care

Mommax8 - I know you have a number of different threads going in the D/D forum, but I wanted to give you some advice here, where it's NOT so visible to all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> You get a lot of suggestions from a lot of different people when you start a thread. We all come from different places, not geographically, but in our inner strength, faith, our family background, support systems, and the very circumstances that surround our being here in the first place. As you read what others have written in all the different threads, you will be able to tell if some people "gel" with you - that is, you have similarities that bond you together and you can trust what they say to be objective. I personally looked for those who had been here much longer than myself, whose circumstances or outlook were similar to my own, and who are a little bit further down the road to recovery.

I've noticed that there are some people who are brand new to MB who are giving out advice in almost every thread, that to be honest, I would not listen to. Guard yourself as to who you listen to and who you "bond" with. Your circumstances are very unique with your husband having left plus your awesome responsibility with the kids. And you are always welcome here in this thread, don't forget that!

EC - great to hear from you! So by "clay" and "iron" I suppose you mean you're the clay and she's the iron? And "ox" and "donkey" you're the Ox and she's the donkey? LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Hope your difficulties don't involve your daughter(s) coming to stay with you.

Hello, all!

Good golly - how does a person get to take a vacation around this place, one may ask?!?!? Just skimmed the many posts here - relady and avondale, God bless you both! You 2 and EC are desperately needed to keep the two wild bucks in their pens!

Petvet, glad you are having fun. Tread slowly, my friend. All fires can get too hot to handle. Keep all things in perspective while you are venture forward into a new life. Have fun, but be slow and deliberate.

Wallace, I am going to have to get Sheryl, New Beginnings, among other monikers, here to knock you in the head with a 2 x4 followed by a pie in the face with her famous salmon whip!!! Look, you are swimming in dangerous waters. A relationship worth having is one that has been time-tested and refined. You can't just jump from the frying pan into the skillet. An initial relationship could be a salve for all that ails you or it could be more - much more. You just can't tell yet. You have to spend sufficient time together to know. Don't let your emotions run your life. If you do, you show that you are as impetuous and impulsive as the WS! Don't even go there about marriage with her. You aren't ready. She must be willing to wait for you - until the time you are ready, even if that takes a few years.

Ladies, ya'll are doing such a super job here. Then, EC always add his voice of reason and sanity. EC, knock these boys in the head once or twice, OK?

I miss you guys! You are all so special to me. God bless and keep each of you!
Love to all, RMA