Hi all!

Leah: What I wanted to say is you may want to set some sort of deadline for him to get in line ,or you will evaluate your options w/o him.

Wallace: I am trying to end my IRS issue with debt with wife this month. Hopefully, moneys from her equity in the house will payoff debt. The IRs is no help at all.

Trusting Him: I may go camping with kid this weekend. Last time, we were suppose to go camping instead we stayed at the Holiday Inn. Camping is an adventure if you are not use to it.

Me: DC has too much to see in three days. Long drive but I survived.

Later.

Hi Everyone,
just thought I would drop by and say hi to everyone. Too many posts to read since I have been gone, but hope everyone is doing well.

Take care,
Dave

Dave
It's not fair, you doing a "drive thru" posting like that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> We've missed you. Hope things are going well for your recovery. Thanks for posting, and stop by for longer when you have more time!

Hi All,

Been busy with work and with the attorney concerning this IRS mess my exW left me with... so I apologize for not being able to post as often as I would like.

Petvet...

Are you still in D.C., or are you home now?

Did you go to the Smithsonian?

Your having IRS problems with your exW as well?

Boy... I'm asking a lot of questions... huh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Leah...

I agree with what Petvet has stated as well as avondale.

Since this is the "Tough Love" thread... your going to have get this man to start showing you some "LOVE", and "RESPECT"... or you need to rethink your position which I can tell you are already doing.

I'm all for saving a marriage... just as long as the two people in the "M" are willing to work together on it. if they are not willing to do the work (and it is work at times)... then your just beating you head up against a wall and causing yourself and your children grief.

It's kind of like the yo-yo effect... one moment they are into the "M"... and the next moment... they are out and about doing everything they can to destroy it.

I as well as many others have gone through this yo-yo effect. It's a horrible way to live, and IMHO... it's not worth the effort most of the time to try to stay with it. My guess and opinion... is that about 90% of marriages fail when this is happening.

Keep praying... trust me... it will all expose itself in time... be it good or bad.

This is ""Tough Love", and if he is going to continue with what he is doing... I would show him the door and go into Plan B., if he doesn't show signs of wanting to work on the "M".

Did he ever show you his telephone records?


Trusting Him...

It sounds like you all had a very good time while camping. I'm happy to hear that you and your children had a great time.

I have a question for you.

Do you think that by having dinner with your former and with all your children... that there might be a possibility of you and your former possibly getting back together someday soon? It sounds like you and your former were thinking about what you both were missing... each other!

How were you feeling... being together as a Family again?

avondale...

Anything new on your end?

What do you have planned for the 4th of July weekend?

You have been holding up pretty good so far... what do you think your "H's" next move will be?

Do you have another time set up to meet?

Can you believe that Dave just blew in and out of here just like that without giving us the low down? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Dave...

It's good to hear from you my friend... how is everything going?

You have to give us an update... so we know everything is still going well... which I'm sure it is.

EC...

What's happening with the car issue?

Did your YD and OD come out and visit?

Give us an update when you get a chance.

Me...

Aside from the IRS issue... myself and my family are doing well.

My G/F has been losing quite a bit of business with her business. Mostly because many of her clients are shutting their businesses down. She hasn't been in the best of moods lately because of it... which I can understand. She is talking about closing her business down as well and taking a 40hr. a week job.
I asked her to think real hard on that one... and not make any knee jerk moves as of yet... so we will see what she decides.

We helped her Mother move this weekend into a new place... so hopefully that will be it for moving for awhile. I'm getting too old to be playing moving man. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Well I hope everyone has a great day today and tomorrow.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi Everyone,

Maybe I'll do a drive by post like davepr!

D. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Wallace

Please expound on your insight <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> cause you might be seeing something that I am missing. I know the effects of negative thinking and I could be guilty of that.

Good Things...

To my knowledge she is still in IC.

It's possible that I would like to think that you would honor your commitment to your family and children may be one way of her saying that she is missing it. I just assumed it was her way of getting what she wanted, a week without the children and time with her BF.

I find it hard to see it as a family when I live in one place and she in another.

We have spent more time together because of the children in the past weeks than we have in the last year or so.

How did I feel?

As I watched her and thought about our history I know that I still have feelings for her. I know that if she should show a hint of remorse and contriteness and her BF disappeared from the picture I would definately consider it.

Someday soon? *chuckles*

A Pastor and I today were talking today and he reminded me of Hosea. I asked of it would be appropriate for me to buy "her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley:" He just laughed and said that the BF would be getting the better end of that deal.

But like Hosea, I know if she begins to let God work in her life that He will provide me the grace and ability to forgive.

So...I still lift up prayers for her that she will draw closer to God.

Hi all!

Dave & WGTT: It's the right, driving by a taking off. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Wallace: Yes, I am back. I want to go to the beach this weekend. July 4th is my favorite holiday. Yes, I have IRS issues that I expect to be resolve within the month.

Later.

Hi All,

The girls and I are visiting with my sister right now. It's always great to be with her. She also happens to live at the beach which is a definite plus. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

My H has been wonderful this past week, kind and attentive. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> But here's the but.... he has not given me the phone bills yet. Is this just a huge diversion???

Anyhow, I'm enjoying the reprieve. It's been so nice not dealing with a ton of conflict. But I can't help wonder if that is the motive behind his kindness, to distract me from my "pursuit" of truth. I find it hard to ask about the phone bills when he's being decent for the first time in so long. What do you all think?

Thanks and hope you all have a good week.

Wow, two “drive by” posts in a row....it’s great to hear from old friends but I sure wish they’d say a little bit more!

Petvet & Wallace - Why are y’all still having IRS issues? Didn’t you file taxes separately once you were separated? Is there something I should be on the lookout for in my own situation? I don’t want to be having to deal with tax junk down the road!

EC - Please give us a report about your daughter’s visit! Remember, we've been waiting for them to visit almost as long as you have!

Trusting - I didn’t read your post the same way that Wallace did. However, all I could think of was “how strained it would be for me to sit at a table with my H AND KIDS and act like nothing has happened”. I mean, it’s one thing to be able to talk to him civilly and in adult manner about dividing property; it’s a whole other thing to be a family while he’s unrepentant. Maybe it’s easier for you cuz your children are so much younger...what do you think? Or was it difficult and you just handled it extremely well?

Leah - I hate to say this, and was waiting for the guys to respond first. But they haven’t, so I’ll go ahead. I have a bad feeling about the fact that your H hasn’t provided those records yet. And also because he’s acting nice. Is it possible for you to separate those two facts and deal with them one at a time? I assume you’ve reminded him of the records and his promise to show them. Could this be a turning point for you - if he doesn’t follow through with his promise to show them, then <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> (gulp) you separate? Keep us posted!

Me - nothing new except my haircut! I've been told it makes me look 10 years younger! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> yippee!

WGTT, DavePR, RMA, Mommax8, everyone else, Have a great 4th of July! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ July 01, 2004, 04:42 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi All,

I have had a very busy week with work and my attorney. It just never ends!

Trusting Him...

I don't think your thinking negatively and not seeing things for what they are, concerning your former... I'm going out on a limb here and I'm saying that there appears to be a little more going on here IMO based on this.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Quote by Trusting Him:

Friday evening their Mother arrives, (still looking good of course) to attend the have dinner, attend the talent show and pick the children up from camp. It was pleasent to sit at the same table and actually have dinner as a family. The first one in over a year too. It sure made YD's day. She was beamimg from ear to ear seeing the two of us at the same table.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It may have been the first time in over a year... but unless your former is dead to the whole world... and because of your history... it just struck me... like she may have felt the same way you did.

IMHO... you don't sit and have an enjoyable dinner with your former for any period of time unless your trying to capture the moment of what you have been missing... not only you, but her as well.

It's what I felt after reading your statement. It had nothing to do with the way you worded your statement... it was just what came into my heart at the time that I read it.

I'm not trying to see this through rose colored glasses... but, it just struck me, after reading that... that she was enjoying this time as much as you were. Correct me if I'm wrong and I will stand corrected... but you just cannot throw away and erase the moments that you and her, as well as your whole family away... just like that. It just does not happen... no matter how hard you she may try to erase those memories... it just doesn't happen.

Let me know if I'm way off base on this one.

Leah...

Glad to hear that your having a good time... it always helps to get away and clear the head.

I'm going to give you my take on your situation... and unfortunately it's not going to be through rose colored glasses.

I agree with what avondale has stated. IMHO... you are in fact going through the yo-yo effect. I myself lived it for many years without even realizing it... but in fact I was.

I think that in fact it is a diversion that your "H" is setting up here. Oh, I'm sure he is being nice as pie, but the fact of the matter is, he didn't show you his telephone bill... and I'll bet he hasn't brought it to your attention either.

This is like an old shell game that the hustlers still do to this day... and people... still fall for it... that's the sad part.

I wouldn't bring up seeing the phone bills again... until he kicks back in again... and if history on these type of people play out... he will kick in again... it's just a matter of time.

Keep looking... I feel that you will unfortunately find what you are looking for.

avondale...

So you got your hair cut, and look 10 years younger?

Good for you! Now... your going to have to beat the guys away from you now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Speaking of which... I need to get a haircut too! But, I got too much going on at the moment so it will have to wait. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

To answer your question about the IRS... even though I was legally seperated from my now exW. We were in the process of a reconciliation in the first part of 2002 (It was like the tenth time, until I finally went through with the actual "D". Pay close attention to that last statment Leah... I went through what you are going through for almost 23 years).

Well I filed jointly with my exW because we were suppose to be getting back together, and I didn't want to make waves by filing seperately. There was only one problem... I claimed all of my income... and she lied about all of her earnings. She had about 18 jobs (and I'm not kidding) in one year. I thought she incorporated all of her W2's out of her 18 jobs.

Well... she didn't!

She left out three of the most highest paying jobs she had on her tax return. She also worked at these jobs the longest... which was maybe 8 weeks maximum for the longest running job. It didn't even occur to me that she would lie about that as well... so now they are coming after me... because the IRS knows she is a deadbeat. They always go after the one with the deepest pockets. Which in so many words... the IRS admitted to me, after having a 3 hour conversation with about 4 different agents.

What it boils down to... is a WS will lie about everything and anything... it doesn't matter who they are dealing with. It just boils down to whatever will make them happy and to hell with everyone else... and it doesn't get any better than that.

Petvet...

Glad to hear that your wrapping up on your IRS issues.

Did you have to bring in an attorney, or did you go Pro Se?

WGTT...

O.K., I'm calling foul now. Two drive-bys in what... a week?

I'm sure your doing well... otherwise it would of been more than a drive-by.

You know... we have actually had quite a few recoveries on this thread.

Keep up the good work and when you get time... let us know how you are doing... which I'm sure is well.

EC...

Hope you are doing well... let us know when you get time.

Hope everyone has a great day and a better tomorrow.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

WAllACE POSTED
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> WGTT...

O.K., I'm calling foul now. Two drive-bys in what... a week?

I'm sure your doing well... otherwise it would of been more than a drive-by.

You know... we have actually had quite a few recoveries on this thread.

Keep up the good work and when you get time... let us know how you are doing... which I'm sure is well.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Wallace - look at my sig line <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Things are rocky at home. For the most part I am good. The growth from this whole ordeal has been good for me. I am recovering, the jury is still out on my husband.

There is sooo much to work through, I've started a new career that is very demanding, but rewarding, and dealing with 2 teens at home ( and a 22 YO who's here for the summer).

I get my first commission this week and going to take the kids to a Braves game (thier choice) & spend the night in Atlanta.

My "free" time is spent on a sailing race crew. Actually it's the highlight of my week.

Hello to everyone!!! I skim here now and then to try to see what's going on.

-----------------------------------------------
On another topic - Has anyone seen the movie Notebook ???? It was sooooo touching. I cried a lot ( I don't usually do that in movies!!!) It's a love story - the contrast between what was portrayed and what I have is a deep canyon. All
guys should go see this - it's what women want. I told that to both me sons and they said they weren't going to see a chick flick. I know you MB guys are different (well you are)

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY HOLIDAY WEEKEND

Ironic huh - we are celebrating FREEDOM

d.

WGTT - It was great to hear from you! Ok, I’ll bite: Define “rocky at home”. I am sure it’s not a walk in the park, and I know you weren’t expecting it to be easy. But just how difficult is it? Is it more detachment/emotional stuff or pressures dealing with the business y’all had, or family stuff, or something else altogether? Where is your H and his relationship with the Lord? BTW, I’ve kind of looked for you around in other forums (recovery) but didn’t see you at all. So we’re especially honored that you’ve posted here again!

Congrats on your commission. It’s great to see you’re still racing. Keep in touch, please!

Avondale,

At first things were rocky because we had so much that we were dealing with, but we were doing it together. We talked about things, were affectionate, it was headed in the right direction.

Each time he goes back to the area, he comes back more closed up. I know something is not right but not sure exactly what. Back to drugging and drinking at times? He denies it. I get the feeling that guilt and shame play a part. He 's like Jonah and the whale, running from God.

I gave him a letter recently reminding him of what I needed to feel safe to rebuild our marriage, and what he needed to do before moving home. He won't go to AA, so at best he's a dry drunk. He did say he would counsel with Steve Harley but hasn't called to schedule an appointment.

He will get another letter soon, saying that I am guarding my heart, because he didn't do the things to make me feel safe. But when he is ready to do those things, I will change my mind.

There may be another intervention of sorts - very low key, but a come to Jesus session. The man who did the orginal intervention and our deacon (& me).

Our oldest son is looking like he has a drinking problem too, so will need to revisit alanon from mult - perspectives.

Through all of this I am at peace with who I am and what I've done (and not done) and feel surprisingly good. My serenity is very important.

Real estate is good, but will take a while to be consistently good.

I am very tired & need to go to bed, but will come back and post the story about my neighbors house. I could kick myself, and no doubt that's what i am doing mentally to myself.

D.

Leah2be

Phone bills.....that sure brings back memories.

You should see the notation my former put on her account after I obtained copies.

*****DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE OUT ANY INFORMATION ABOUT THIS ACCOUNT TO TRUSTING HIM. HE IS NO LONGER AN AUTHORIZED USER ON THIS ACCOUNT AND HE IS NOT TO RECEIVE ANY INFORMATION ABOUT THIS ACCOUNT VIA PHONE, FAX OR IN PERSON*****

And to explain that comment she says that she sees me having access to her account as a control issue. Not to mention that the information there should be considered private and that I shoud just trust her.

This of course was after the discovery of the first OM in her life. Funny...several months later another lady and I are reviewing her husbands cell phone records and there shure were a bunch of calls from my former to him. My formers side of it...We are just friends.

I think others have already stated that the up's and down's associated with the fear of there being someone else. And to have that fear confirmed only opens up another book that our mates have to conjure up lies about to justify their actions.

I admire your efforts at maintaining your composure during these trying times. It is extremely hard on one's physical self and emotions to put up with this and you have done well.

I guess in the end it is only you who can make the final decision. I can honestly say that if I had to go back and do all this over again I would have been the one to file for a legal seperation and would have been a bit more firm in what I expected. As it was...I was at times being more of a doormat for her and that allowed things to drag on and on.

Petvet

I love camping, the Holiday Inn type and the woods type. This camp is somewhat primative but id does have electricity and a mess hall for cooking.

The kids and I prefer our camping with just a tent adn a fire. All of them have gotten quite good at building fires and cooking over them. It is a time that we all enjoy.

I hope you had a wonderful holiday and that the IRS problems will soon be resolved.

Avondale

New haircut and 10 years younger! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Maybe I need a haircut. Doubt it would make ne look 10 years younger though.

In response to your question. Yes it was strained for her and me. The children I think enjoyed it since it has been some time since they actually saw us together. But. . . they each still have their own hopes of us getting back together.

I guess what allows me to be civil and nice is that I would hate to stand before Christ one day and He ask me why I treated her in any other way than what He expected. Is it hard? YES...but it does get eaiser with time.

She and I both know what happened in our marriage but as it stands right now only one of us has accepted any of the responsibility for those problems. Yes...there is a part of me that could quite easily remind her or allow her actions to affect me but i try to be a better person than that.

Why? I still have to be an example for our children. *chuckles* And this long weekend did not help matters any for them. I had cleaned out my Bible and my drawers all the cards and letters my former had given me over the years and stuffed them all in a box to decide what I wanted to do with them.

I came in from doing the yard work and the children were in the midst of reading them all. *GASP* But it did not seem to really have any ill effects on them. The jest of their questions was that it sounded like Mommy loved me. They all know that their Mom has accused me of lying to her and them about many things but their question was, Daddy...in all these cards and letters Mommy says that she loves you. Was she telling the truth then or is she lying now?

Ouch! How do you answer that?

Wallace

I have NO IDEA what she thinks anymore and at times I do feel that she is dead to the world. But it could just be my presence that makes her feel that way.

I would like to think that she enjoyed it as we had many pleasent times. In my opinion the good times far outweighed the bad and after reading all her letters and cards again that was proved again. Unless of course she was not telling the truth then. I think "Forever Hers" answered a post many months ago that summed up where she was and simply put it was that she felt she did not deserve the love that I was showing her and was consumed by guilt. *confused* Only she knows

I hope you had a wonderful Holiday weekend, with plenty of time for rest and relaxation.


WillGetThruThis

Good to hear about you! I pray the new career goes well. Braves game? If my boss has her way I'll soon be able to look out an office window and watch the game (with binoculars of course). She wants me to move to the BIG city.

Keep your hopes high and let God work in you and your husband. We both know that He has a better plan that you and I but it is hard at times waiting on Him to complete His work in us and our mates.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Through all of this I am at peace with who I am and what I've done (and not done) and feel surprisingly good. My serenity is very important. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is good and it is also a place that you do not get to alone. I pray that you keep this attitude.

I'll add all of you to my prayer list. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Notebook? I read the book and "The Wedding". I would love to go see it but I would rather not go alone....and I would probably look rather funny taking a man to this type movie. *chuckles*


Everyone Else

Hope all had a wonderful Holiday weekend.

Please keep posting as your progress and stories always keep me heading in the right direction.

Hi All,

It's been a long time, so I promise not to do a driveby, since I see how much you hate them. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Feel free to ask me any questions in case I miss something. I'll be checking in periodically, I missed you guys. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

First let me apologize and explain why I left so suddenly. It appeared that once I returned from the Bahamas, A friend quoted many things that they could have only known from here. So, I decided to step back and allow the Lord to search my heart, and to heal me without me getting in the way.

It's been a long year, first of all in late September, 2003 my mom became very ill and I was bi-coastal until she passed away in November. After that it pretty much took until now for my brother and I to settle her issues and in the middle of all this, I was still selling homes and going to school like a mad woman. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

The earlier part of this year I started to receive calls from bill collectors and other uninvited types, so I filed for divorce after much prayer and soul searching. After discussing it with my pastor and putting everything in its proper perspective, I felt fine with my decision and that I had to do what comes natural first.

My H and I have still had very little contact other than a few sentences in a letter that I initiated and he responded. We still have not seen each other nor do I care to. We were approaching five years and at that time if there was no divorce, he would be entitled to my pension and alimony since I make more that he does. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

After such a trying year, I just returned from a two week cruise around Hawaii. I deserved that didn't I?

I've only been able to catch up on a few pages of posts and still reading.

Avondale

I hope you're still keeping the guys in line. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Wallace

I have no comment until I continue reading. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Petvet You will have to share your secret!

Everyone Else

Hope all is well, To those I know and those I don't.

Relady - You’d better NOT do a drive by! It’s great to read your post. I had sent you an email when we didn’t hear from you, but I’m not sure if you ever got it. Does it bother you that someone you knew made the connection with what you wrote here, or was it what they said that was cause for you to reexamine your heart? I’m sorry your mom passed away - you know we all would have been here for you, if needed. My mom died 3 years ago - that was the start of my life (as I knew it) changing forever. I know you hated the thought of divorce so I’m sure that was a difficult decision. Real estate sales must be good if you went to Hawaii, and yes, you deserve it. Again, I’m glad you’re back. Keeping the guys in line is difficult, but I have had some help. Let me introduce you to “ Trusting Him ” and “ Leah2be ” who have joined us on Petvet’s thread here. I think you already knew “ WillGetThruThis ”, but if not, she’s here too. You will get their stories as you catch up on your Tough Love reading!

Trusting - I think it’s great that your kids found that box which had all your cards, etc. There might never have been an opportunity for you to show them yourself, and God provided that for them to see! I’m sure that one day, your kids will see the truth about their mom.


EC - I’m still waiting for a report from you about your daughter’s visit!

Gotta go, have a great week, everyone <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hello Everyone,

It's great to hear from WGTT and RELADY. Even though I wasn't posting when relady was, I read her story and was sad to see her suddenly go away. I'm glad you've posted again. WGTT, I can very much relate to the ongoing recovery issues. It sure isn't easy but it's wonderful that you've been able to maintain your peace in the midst of such trials.

Maintaining peace... this is something I'm ever praying and striving for. You all have posted such helpful advice and encouragement. AVONDALE, PETVET, WALLACE, TRUSTING HIM, and EC... I appreciate all that you all share with me, even if it's not always happy thoughts. THANK YOU for being friends enough to SPEAK THE TRUTH even when it's not easy. Please continue to shoot straight with me, I know I need it.

There's more I want to write but my H just called to say he's headed home from work. I'm going to get his dinner re-heated and ready for him. So I'll post more tommorrow.


Hope you all have a good week!

Hello everyone!

RELADY I wondered what happened to you! It's good to hear from you but sorry about the circumstances. You sound like you are in a pretty good place despite the circumstances. We all have situations, it's how we choose to deal with them that makes the difference.

I too am a "relady" now. One property has closed so I guess that's official.

YOU DESERVE HAWAII.

me UUUUGGGGGHHH. I know that I know that I know about my WH. I had asked God to reveal to me what I needed to know & He did. Just enough to know he's back to drugging and who knows what else while he is away from home on business trips.

Every morning I spend time in prayer & often write in a prayer journal. I intuitively knew when WH got into the crap - I got the feeling to intensley pray. His cell phone records confirm what I was feeling. Whoa. The exact day. (and probably time if i had recorded that)

Sooooooooooo, I would not consider our M in recovery. Probably need to change my sig line (AGAIN) I have an appointment with Steve and have lined up our deacon & the intervention guy. My plan is to require him to do all of the things in my orginal letter and then some, or else move out. I'll file for legal separation at that point, unless God yanks me in another direction. That he has done before!!!

For instance, last Sept, WH dropped me off at the Atlanta airport for me to fly home & I didn't even look back, because I was ready to call it quits. That evening in Church I heard God say to me " Call him and tell him you love him and want him to come home." WHAT !!!???!!! I literally fought with God - no way. It was like having the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other!
In the end I was obedient.

trusting him thanks for your prayers and words of encouragement. I am trusting God for the restoration of my marriage, but will not live with the current situation. WH never repented & I believe the guilt and shame is really eating him. Partly, it's that Catholic school upbringing.

Leah - recovery issues are tough. I haven't read the lastest on your story but I remember when you first joined this board.

too everyone - blessings

D.

OK!OK! What's going on here with all the drive by's? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Is there a full moon?

Relady: I am happy that you have taken time to visit with us again. I am sorry to hear about your lost. You are a tough lady who's very focused. Go Girl!

WGTT: I am happy that you are with us again as well. It's sad to hear that you are still going through the stuff. You love the water like I do. I am going to start looking to find an investment property close to a beach before the summer ends. I love the beach.

Wallace: Yes, I am working through my attorney to resolve issues with ex. It should be resolve by the end of the month once and for all. The final cord will be cut. It will be Overrrrr!

Avondale: Did I hear something about a hair cut? WH better reconsider real soon because the clock is running real fast. You are beginning to look after yourself now. Hair cut? Sexy sexy sexy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Me: There are no secret formulas as far as my relationship with Buddy is concern. In all honesty (knocking on wood) and based on what I know today, she is the love of my life. She is tough and real smooth with alot of class. She is human with a few rough edges, but I value her like diamonds. I can definitely put her on my balance sheet. Don't start! There will be no wedding bells in this camp anytime soon. I'm going to take my time.

Later.

Good Morning All,

Thank you for the welcome back!

Avondale

It was an acquaintance who was having marital problems and discovered this board through friends. I only see her occasionally to have a brief conversation. After the usually conversation openings, she asked me how did I like 'marriagebuilders' and does it help me. She didn't know for sure it was me until she saw the look on my face! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> It was something that was supposed to happen. After that a few other things began to happen such as a trusted friend used me as an 'object lesson' to a group of ladies at church.

All this added up to me allowing my relationship with God to become first again. By that, I mean for Him to become my best friend, my confidant, my supporter, etc. Now, I share my concerns with Him and know they won't be repeated or used against me.

It has been a wonderful year of growing in character, as well as emotionally. It has become so much easier.

How are you doing physically? I got to your posts where you had surgery.

WGTT

Hope things work out with you, I'm still trying to catch up on the posts.

Congratulations on becoming a 'relady'. It is truly the best career if you like people and have patience! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> One bit of advice, "Stay in touch with all your clients after closing" My business last year consisted of all 'referrals' because I was gone alot and I never lost a dime! And buy 'units' so your money works when you don't!!

Petvet

Hey! I purposely didn't make my post a drive-by! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> And yes, there was a full moon last week!

It appears that you and 'buddy' have a great plan. I hope you're taking notes to share later.

L2B

Thank you for the welcome. My story hasn't changed much in the last year, I still have had virtually no contact with my H since the day he left. His loss! God is still here.

Wallace

Where are you? I promise I'm nicer now! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hello, Everyone Else

relady

<small>[ July 07, 2004, 12:03 PM: Message edited by: relady ]</small>