Hey Leah ,
Thanks for your kind words about the newspaper notice. I admit I’ve read them before it was my turn to be written up. So far, only 2 ppl have remarked about them, not unkindly, just noticed it.

About your husband's business trip...why NOT go along? Yes, you'd be the third wheel at work-related functions, but is it pride that's keeping you from not going? Tagging along might put your mind at ease. And he DID tell you he was bringing his assistant. I bet in his muddled mind, that was a big step towards disclosure. Yes, that's NOT the way it should be, but what if he had not told you at all and then you were to find out? I agree he's being very disrespectful of your feelings, but he might be feeling he's compromising between the two of you, also. (read on below.)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He obviously doesn't really want me there. I think it would feel very awkward. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Why is it obvious?

What city is he going to? Is it a place that has something to do during the day? What about taking your kids and making it a mini-field trip or vacation? If nothing else, it would certainly send the message to his assistant that you are a family.
Then you said </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">it's just more of the same disrespect and disregard for my feelings. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But I can't help but wonder (playing devil's advocate here) that your husband is thinking that offering for you to go would be a compromise. Is it even possible in his way of thinking that this is what you want (to be with him on this trip)?

Just some food for thought here. These things might be thoughts you've already played through in your mind, and we're getting the condensed version here on the thread. If there's any way we can help, you know we'd be glad to do it!

Avondale,

Thank you so much for writing. You made some excellent points and I appreciate you playing "Devil's Advocate". I need different viewpoints beyond my limited thinking. I read your post right before I walked out the door, then thought about what you had written all morning.

You asked some valid questions. I'll answer them the best I can and I'd appreciate your feedback as to whether I'm thinking straight or not. You asked "Why not go?"

1. I've learned the hard way that if anything is going on with H and assistant, my going on the trip isn't going to change anything. H will do as he chooses. The past has shown me that on several occasions when H chose to be in contact with OW on our trips away.

On our anniversary trip, that ended up including D-Day, H was off with OW while I was worried sick about him in a lonely hotel room. After everything came out, I discovered "business trips" were not all business, even when I went along. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

2. H has been very disrespectful and unkind in the past month. Not consistently, of course, but some pretty negative things have been said and done lately. Being with him as he currently is is not a pleasant experience. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

3. If H actually wanted me to go, I would. When he told me about the trip and said I could go along "if I felt I needed to", I asked him if he wanted me to go. He replied, "Only if that helps you to be more comfortable. It wouldn't be for my benefit." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

In the past, he has stated numerous times that he doesn't like me coming along on trips with him. He's given me several reasons for this. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> It's no fun being with someone who doesn't want you with them.

4. H and assistant have already formed a "mutual admiration society". He thinks the world of her. He once again is looking to someone else for the admiration he so desperately needs. He won't allow me to fill this need.

Because they have the business goals and conversations going on, I'm definitely on the outside of the loop. I'm thinking a seven hour car ride doesn't sound that comfortable or interesting.

So, Avondale, and anyone else....Am I thinking straight or do I need to take a different perspective on this thing?

I do agree that H was trying to somewhat put a compromise out there. And because of this, I guess I can't complain too much. I'm just not sure going along would make me feel any better about anything.

Thanks again for sharing your perspective. I'm still open to the idea of going if I come to feel it is the wisest choice. Maybe with time, I'll change my thinking. Or after another thoughtful provocation from you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hope you have a nice weekend Avondale. Thanks for being a friend through all my little dilemas.

Hi All,

I can see by reading the posts that this year is off to a bad start emotionally, for me as well!

We are closer to each other than we think! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Just the other week, I was thinking of calling my X just for the sport of it and see just what he is up to. Yikes!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> It was one of those days where the enemy trys to convince you that you are a failure. It almost worked!

Avondale

I understand how you feel. They don't publish the official notice in the paper here. It's worst, after six months we have to take an additional paper to the court house for the judge to sign to finalize the divorce.

You'll have relapses, but you'll recover much faster as time goes on.

Leah2be

I agree with Avondale. I would go and I would enjoy it!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He just told me his plans to take his new assistant on a business trip with him. They'll be gone two or three days. He said if I were uncomfortable, I could go along. This leaves me with a decision I'd rather not make.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Why in the world would you not go? To prove to him that you are comfortable with him going? Your husband knows you very well and he is using that knowledge against you. You now have to do the opposite.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I really don't want to be their babysitter. Most of the time, I would be the third wheel. He obviously doesn't really want me there. I think it would feel very awkward. I'm afraid H will never get it.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Babysitter, Awkward, Third Wheel First just get rid of that vocabulary!! Don't allow yourself to stay in that position. First of all, he is Your husband and she is going out of town with a married man!! Boss or not!!
And a seven hour drive to boot. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Anyhow, I'm going to continue to look to the Lord for wisdom and strength. I know He is there to help. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, He is there to help, and you also have to do your part.

IMHO

Go on the trip, be confident, take your best clothes, go to all meetings, You have input, I'm sure you know all about the company. When he stares at you, stare back and keep talking.

You have to fake the confidence and give God something to work with. If you take the initial step, you can believe He won't let you fall.

Sometimes, when I'm in the mirror, I give myself a good verbal lashing. Pointed fingers and all, I tell myself all the things that God says about me. And once I get over the dizziness, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I walk out the door and feel like I could conquer the world. Try it.

Petvet

Jewelry, New York, Where do I sign up? I haven't graduated to selling diamonds yet, maybe at a later date.

Wallace

Sorry to hear about your dad, I will also be praying for him?

When is the wedding or did I miss the date? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Where is Trusting Him?

relady

Relady,

Thanks for writing. Did you read my last post? I ask because in it I posted all my reasons for not wanting to go. I was curious if you thought my reasons to be faulty.

Lots has been happening lately. I've been writing in the Emotional Needs Forum. The topic has been about Emotional Abuse.

I have several posters who have strongly suggested I need to go to a Plan B. One of the writers is a lady we started talking to for marriage coaching.

She came to feel a separation was the best option for me. I'm still struggling with this, to say the least. I don't feel peace about doing that, at least at this point in time.

It might come to that if things continue to esculate and become intolerable. God does not give us more than we can bear and so far I feel I'm able to stay. Because of that I need to be here until I feel a total confidence that leaving is the right choice.

Hopefully, I'm thinking right. I'm learning over and over again that there are 1001 ideas out there on all this stuff. One has to do what they feel is best and right in God's eyes and let a lot of other stuff go. A tough thing to do at times.

Anyhow, thank you for sharing your perspective. I still have time to change my mind. The trip is a month away. Lots can happen in that timeframe. In fact, lots can happen in a days time around here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hope you're doing okay. It's good you stood strong against the old temptations. I understand those "pulls" all too well. Keep being strong in the Lord. He will see you through.

Leah2be,

Go back and read my post again and you will see that not only did I read your last post and IMHO all your reasons were faulty! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

relady

Relady,

All of your responses were addressing my first post to Avalon about not wanting to be a babysitter etc. I'm talking about my last post that list four specific reasons that I don't want to go.

Summary:

1. It wouldn't prevent or discontinue anything.
2. He doesn't want me to.
3. He has been very unkind and disrespectful.
4. He doesn't include or allow me to be involved in any business dealings. He maintains it's HIS business,not ours.

Those were the condensed version of the reasons I'm talking about. Any thoughts of those? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Leah2be

Ok, let's see:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> 1. I've learned the hard way that if anything is going on with H and assistant, my going on the trip isn't going to change anything. H will do as he chooses. The past has shown me that on several occasions when H chose to be in contact with OW on our trips away.

On our anniversary trip, that ended up including D-Day, H was off with OW while I was worried sick about him in a lonely hotel room. After everything came out, I discovered "business trips" were not all business, even when I went along.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If he and the OW have that much nerve, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I would probably confront them both and then I would take the car and drive home. I would still go and handle things different from the way you have before. It will probably include getting a little 'confrontational'.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">H has been very disrespectful and unkind in the past month. Not consistently, of course, but some pretty negative things have been said and done lately. Being with him as he currently is is not a pleasant experience.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Because he has been planning this trip and he has to figure out a way for you not to go.
so go!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> If H actually wanted me to go, I would. When he told me about the trip and said I could go along "if I felt I needed to", I asked him if he wanted me to go. He replied, "Only if that helps you to be more comfortable. It wouldn't be for my benefit."
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He already said you could go along, why not take it at face value and not ask any more questions. Tell him you feel a need to go!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> H and assistant have already formed a "mutual admiration society". He thinks the world of her. He once again is looking to someone else for the admiration he so desperately needs. He won't allow me to fill this need.

Because they have the business goals and conversations going on, I'm definitely on the outside of the loop. I'm thinking a seven hour car ride doesn't sound that comfortable or interesting.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">His business goals determine your future as well. Are you saying you don't know anything about the business? Why are you on the outside? If that is the case, may I suggest you read everything you can find about the business. Are you employed outside the home? If not, start showing up at the office and finding things out. then go and talk

I might add, that all of these things may force him to make up his mind on what to do, leave or stay. If you are ready to deal with that, then do those things, if not; don't.

Once, my X said he was going out of town for job training. I said, OK, where are you going, I'll make my own reservations and go to. He never went, I think it was a test! I never really knew if he had an OW, he was always home on time, home on weekends, he really had a terrific game plan if I had not had a relationship with the Lord because I knew something was wrong, but not sure what. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I did plan A till I was blue in the face prior to that. Then when I couldn't take the emotional abuse, I challenged him at every turn. He finally left one day while I was at work and I never called or talked to him again.

WS don't like changes, especially when the BS gets smarter!

Disclaimer
All the information above is reliable, but not guaranteed, execute at your own risk. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

relady

Relady,

Hi there! What you said you did at the end is what I'm currently doing. I have nothing to lose at this point.

Have you heard of Divorce Busters? There's a book and a web site. Anyhow, they have a 180 list of behaviors that I'm currently trying to implement.

Also, I've begun taking a stand against all the abuse. With God's help, I'm finding a back bone. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thirdly, I'm getting prepared for Plan B if none of the above work.

Many of your suggestions are good. Some might work with H, some definitely wouldn't.

As far as the business goes, it is highly mechanical and technical. It is an engineering firm. H is an inventor.

He has always made it clear that he does not want me involve in this business, even the parts I could participate in. I have made a point to learn what I can and try to understand what's going on as much as H will allow me to.

Anyhow, I will consider all that you and Avondale have wrote and will go if that seems to be the wisest thing based on all that is happening at the time.

Last night, H and assistant ended up working late together, then he took her home, as we're in the middle of an ice storm.

I'm wondering if this is the beginning of the end. It might just work it's way into yet another affair, and at that point, our M will be over.

I've already expressed my feelings about their relationship to H, now we will see what happens.

Thanks Relady for your suggestions. I'm going back to reread it now.

Leah
I have read your posts on the EN board and the responses there. I think they are in line with what Relady has said. Bottom line is, something needs to be done - either you need to shake up your H’s boat and see if he jumps ship, or you need to bail water by being more assertive - but he still might jump ship.

I have read "The Divorce Remedy" by Michele Weiner Davis and it is also very good. She's the lady that wrote Divorce Busting. Very practical. Another thing I noticed on the other board was that someone said "take one thing at a time"...it's too much to work on your marriage, and meet ENs and stop the abuse, etc. So start with the disrespect first.

You know what, if you are assertive, and stand up or point out how his words/actions are hurting, then he can never say “I didn’t know that, I wasn’t aware this was hurting you, etc.” He may not change, but he can never plead ignorance. You’ll never be in doubt of "what if I had just stood up to him/said this or that/etc." This would be one thing you wouldn't have to second guess about.

How emotionally ready are you if things get worse at home, or even if he leaves? Is it the fear of that which is holding you back? I remember when my kids were little, as parents we never threatened with a punishment that we were unable or unwilling to follow through with. It’s kind of like that with your H. You need to be ready to handle the worst case scenario (him leaving - then dissolving into divorce) if it actually occurs as a result of the consequences.

I believe you can handle more than you think you can. With the Lord’s help, you are a strong and mighty woman! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Avondale,

Thank you for the encouraging word. Thank you also for reading my posts on the other forum.

I'm very ready to implement more assertive behavior and have already begun to do so. I no longer fear losing H's love or affection. That has been gone a long time now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

The situation has only one direction to go. Things will improve one way or the other. I am NOT fearful of him leaving...Quite the opposite.

If his heart isn't to change towards me, I NEED him to leave. Forgive me if I'm being redundant. I forget what I post to whom. I've asked him several times to leave. He refuses. He has just as much legal right to be here as I do. He always says if I'm not happy, I can leave.

That has been a big part of the problem. H has me right where he wants me. I'm the maid and nanny and he has total access to his children. There are no financial and custody limits in his life right now. The arrangement works very well for him. Obviously, not as well for me.

That is why I am working out the details of preparation for Plan B. I know I need to be prepared emotionally, spiritually,physically and financially. It is a huge step and one that I obviously don't take lightly. I'm seeking counsel and wisdom on all the different aspects of it.

My hope is that I won't be forced to leave my home. I think it would be such a hearbreak for my girls. Hopefully, he will grow weary of this new Leah and decide to either change or leave.

I keep reading the different material on boundaries and more assertive communication. I am praying for God's help every step of the way. I want to do my part in seeking a different life than what has been. Yes, I'm ready. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hey All,

I hope everyone had a good weekend!

Leah...

After reading your posts about your "H" and his upcoming business trip, I would have to go along with what avondale, and relady have stated. I also think that you need to get your "M" moved from where it's positioned. I personally would of already been in a plan B. situation when I first had d-day, but that's just me.

Nothing changes, when nothings changes... and in order to either improve or possibly destroy what's left of your "M"... your, IMHO, going to need to take steps to show your "H" that your not going to tolerate this type of situation any longer, as well as the way he treats you. If you don't... you will most likely keep getting more of the same... until it takes a turn for the worse... which it more than likely will... it's just a matter of time.

me...

Well my Dad is suppose to get out of the hospital today... but I'm not sure they will release him. He's still on shaky ground after the operation... but he seems to be doing a lot better.

G/F and I are doing O.K.. We didn't get together at all this weekend. We both had to much going on.

Well I hope everyone has a good day today.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Wallace,

I totally agree and am working diligently in changing things.

I had a really good day yesterday. In applying the 180 list, I saw some positive response to it even today. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My H called on his way to an appt. and very freely volunteered info. about his plans for the day and about business. He also said he loved me.

Yes, I know it's premature to get too excited, but it was just such a nice,positive thing and it hasn't happened in quite a long time.

So, I'm determined to continue this new stand and hope to see it bring about positive,LASTING changes.

As I've already posted, I'm also making preparations for plan B if I don't see consistent changes soon.

Please hold me accountable. I truly don't want to remain where I've been.

I hope your father continues to get better. I've been praying for him and you and your family. Take care.

<small>[ February 01, 2005, 12:38 PM: Message edited by: Leah2be ]</small>

Wallace - Will wonders ever cease? You didn’t get together with your G/F all weekend? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I guess when you’re watching over both your own kids and your parents, life gets hectic, doesn’t it?

Leah - I’ve read your most recent reply on the EN thread. I think you’re coming from a little bit of a different place than the other person there, especially spiritually. Your reply to her was very gracious, though. It’s very encouraging that your H actually responded well. What items from the 180 list did you try? I seem to recall there were some that could be more immediately applicable, and others that were more of a last-resort type. You are right to not think of this too prematurely, but I know even the smallest sign is encouraging. One word of caution: Don’t jump into “reward” mode for his “changed behavior” too quickly...wait and confirm that is it indeed a pattern of change, not a one-time thing. Remember, this is the Tough Love thread! We’ll keep praying for you!

<small>[ February 01, 2005, 01:47 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi all, sorry for not posting in the past couple of days.

Leah: I would have to go along with the other folks. You have to stop being a floor mat enabling your H to walk on you. Under the circumstances, if H invited me on a trip like the one you are describing, I would jump on it. I would be a bold son-of-a-gun. He is your H, so you should not feel as though you are a third wheel. You have given your H too much power. When WS get into this mode, they are some arrogant folks. Hey, go on the trip, and live it up on his expense tab.

Avondale: I know it was an eye opener to see your D annouced to the entire community. I have a hard time with it myself especially with acquiantances that come around that I have not seen in a couple of years. As a priest told me as I was completing annulment paperwork, s--- happens. When he told me that, I nearly passed out. Imagine that from a priest.

Wallace: I hope your Father gets better.

Relady: You seem to be very happy. I can tell the difference in you from a year ago.

Me: I'm doing good. Oh! Recently, my former had major surgery (Hesterectomy), and I got the impression that she wanted me to be sympathetic and give her some time. Go figure! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Later.

Avondale,

Just finished a long post to you, then lost it all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I hate it when that happens. Anyhow, here's condensed version # 2.

You asked what things from the 180 list I've tried. I have totally limited all questions and comments. I'm usually full of happy chatter and conversation. "How was your day?" "What did you work on today?" etc.

Instead, I've been very upbeat and happily removed. It was funny, he started asking me questions. I was careful to limit the words in response. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thanks for the word of caution. You are absolutely correct! Believe me, I am very much in the wait and see mode.

Thanks also for commenting about my other thread. When someone else is so strong in their convictions, it can cause you to question your judgement.
You are right to discern that we are coming from different spiritual perspectives. That indeed makes for a huge difference.

Hope you are having a good week. Thanks for staying in touch and keeping me straight. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

PETVET,

A few days ago, when I did something "right", I thought of you and my other "Tough Love" buddies. I thought you'd be proud of me. I'm finally finding my backbone. Took long enough, huh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hey All,

leah...

The 180 move is a nice touch, and I'm glad your seeing some results so quickly. avondale's comment about not getting to excited about what you've seen from your "H" so far is correct and I'm in agreement as well. Keep up the good work, and if he starts showing signs of faltering... I would not hesitate to move into a Plan B. mode.

avondale...

How's things going with you?

Are you coping with all that has happened, or are you having a hard time with accepting what has happened?

Concerning my G/F and not seeing her all week, and weekend... can you believe it? I know, I know, I think it's the first time since I've met her... that we went a whole week without seeing each other.

It's been a hectic New Year... I hope it slows down.

Petvet, relady, Trusing Him, and anyone else I've missed...

You are all kind of quiet here lately... I'm going to take that as if everything is going well.

Me...

My Dad came home from the hospital the other day. He's doing well, considering what he just went through. He has heart surgery coming up, as well as another operation for colon cancer. he is not in very good shape, I'm afraid.

I'm going to try to get together with my G/F this weekend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hope everyone is doing well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Petvet - I think the reason your former wanted sympathy and attention due to having a hysterectomy has to do with the LOSS she’s feeling. If I recall correctly, she was the one who really wanted a child, more than you. Now she can’t have ANY more. To a woman that’s a big deal, especially if they DID want more. Not to tell you how to feel, but believe me, it’s a BIG deal emotionally to any woman having that kind of permanent surgery, even more for one who’s still “in the market” and young enough to have more kids. What are your Valentine’s Day plans with your “buddy”? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Leah - I’m curious, does your Plan B include moving out? Whatever happened about the trip your H was going on with his assistant?

Wallace - What are your Valentine’s Day plans? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Relady, Trusting - Hope y’all are doing well. Please post a note when you can <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Me - Nothing new. Hubby (I still can't say "ex-hubby") bought a house not too far from mine, so my chances of running into him at the grocery store, post office, the park, etc. will increase 1000% when he moves in next month. Somehow I was able to not see him (by accident) during the last 3 years even though we lived only about 5 miles apart. Oh well, maybe God will continue to shield me in that way.

<small>[ February 06, 2005, 05:38 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Avondale,

I am still trying to figure out all the logistics of plan B. There is a lot involved with that. I'm seeking answers to my many practical and financial questions. I have to limit what I write in regards to all that as this is a public forum. I'm not sure if H reads my stuff or not.

The trip has not happened yet. It's suppose to take place next month. They are now talking about an additional trip they might be taking together. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I feel they are spending way too much time together.

There was a confrontation of sorts of Friday between all of us. I think she knows how I feel. H definitely does. We'll see what he does with those feelings. That will be a factor in whether Plan B becomes necessary.

Interesting about your H moving close by. Could there be any desire on his part to have some casual contact with you? Perhaps this isn't a negative thing??

I'm still keeping you in my prayers. I'm sure this is a challenging time for you. The lesson I taught tonite to my AWANA girls was on how God uses the trials in our life. I used an object lesson of sandpaper and wood and talked about Joseph and others. It was a lesson for me too.

Keep trusting and believing. God will see us through!

Hey All,

I hope all is well and that you all enjoyed 'Super Bowl Sunday". I didn't care for the commercials this year except the one where the troops came home.

Avondale

OK, girl, now you have to look good every time you step out of the house! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Do you think your H did that on purpose and is he alone? It could be that he missed living in the neighborhood.

Leah2be

Plan B is difficult unless it's forced on you and you have no choice. Also, IMHO take some time and close yourself off to all voices except God and you'll definitely have a new perspective think. Sometimes it's confusing when you're in the court of public opinion. Believe me, I know.

Wallace

Yes, what are you doing for Valentines' Day? What else is there? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Marriage?

Petvet

You are observant!f Each year my life gets better even when it is not the best. I'm learning more about myself constantly. It'd sometimes gets pretty scary! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I start school this week, so it's back to the hamster wheel! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Trusting Him

Where are you? Do we need to send the police?

relady

Hi all!

Avondale: Let me get this straight. He still lives near you? What happened to the OW? I thought he had moved to another city. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Wallace: Wow, a week away from your GF. You are showing alot of guts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Your Father sounds like he is in pretty bad shape. You have cause to worry.

Leah: Keep with your plan. Someone is not happy by your moves. You will smoke the devil out into the open.

Relady: What are you studying in school again? Will you have time to operate your business?

Me: Valentines! Plenty of flowers, a little wine, and alot of love. Those are my plans. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Later.