Relady,

Good to hear from you again. Yes, I agree with you that plan B would be very difficult if I have to pursue it.

Thank you for the reminder to listen to God's opinion above all others. I have lots of people in my life with lots of different opinions on the matter. Sometimes it's difficult to discern God's will with all the "noise".

I often think of the verse, "Be still and know that I am God..." I need to work on that. It can be challenging to be still and listen for His voice instead of all others around me.

Please pray that I can have God's discernment in this situation. I really do want to do what's right.

What type of classes are you taking in school? You seem to always have lots going on. I hope it goes well for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Petvet,

Sounds like a nice Valentine's Day is in store for Buddy. Is there a diamond ring in the mix? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Have fun!


Wallace,

How about you and Valentines Day? Any special plans with girlfriend? I hope you have a great time together too!

Hope your father is doing better. Take care.

Avondale,

Just wanted to say hi. My last post to you is on the last page. I hope you're having a good week.

Trusting Him,

Hi there. Sure hope you're doing okay. We all miss hearing from you. Post if you can and let us know you're still out there.

Hey All,

Hope you're having a great day.

Petvet

Sounds like a good time to me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

School is not new to me. I just have to figure out how to juggle more things now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


Leah2be

During the time I took to work on myself, I decided to clean up unfinished business in my life, in which one was finishing up my business degree program. After starting last year, it will probably be another year or so until I am finished. Then on to the'Masters'.

Avondale

Did your H tell you about his move or did you find out from another source?

Wallace

Come on, out with the plans!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

relady

Hey all ,
Let me clarify something about H’s living situation....as you all know, he is working on his PhD which is how he met OW. They are in a program in another state that does not require full-time attendance - it’s geared towards those who are already working in the education field and so their class schedule works around school schedules (i.e., summer school and mini-classes during holiday breaks). He lives and works in my town full-time but goes out of state to this PhD program periodically to work on his own degree. Which is where he meets up with OW (altho she has come here too, as you may recall me reading about her in the paper). Our town is not as big as Atlanta, NYC, or Denver, but not small either. It’s no HUGE surprise that he is not that far from me, as we have similar likes and dislikes as far as neighborhoods, houses, etc. His new house is about 2 miles away (different neighborhood) and he told me about it himself. The previous house was about 5 miles away. None of us should read anything more into this other than the increased chance of me running into him unexpectedly. Just means I have to make sure I always look stunning, LOL . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Thanks for your thoughts and concern!

Petvet - Buddy is fortunate to have you in her life. Yes, you can quote me on that to her, too!

Wallace - What are YOUR valentine's plans? Can you keep up with Petvet? BTW, how is your oldest daughter doing? Still with same b/f?

Relady - I'm glad you posted. I admire you for getting your degree. I guess this will enhance your real estate job - or are you looking to do something else entirely?

Trusting - Is your computer broken? I might have to give you a call! Let us know how you're doing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

EC - If you are still reading this thread, I hope you're doing OK. You have been in my mind all week.

Hey All,

Glad to see everyone posting... this thread got busy all of a sudden.

relady...

LOL... you want to hear my big Valentine's
day plan? It's not going to out do Petvet's plan's... in fact it's not even going to come close.

Well here it is... I have to go into the Dentist at 1:00 p.m. to get a lower rear molar pulled. How's that for plans. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I was chewing bubble gum and it pulled my filling out, and I bit down on my tooth with bubble gum and filling combined and shattered my tooth. It can't be saved either... I guess I can attribute that to old age or something like that, because I was just in to see the Dentist not more than a month prior for teeth cleaning... and he didn't find any loose fillings. So it's gotta be either old age, or just plain bad luck. Must be just bad luck, as my B-day is coming up, and I'm only going to be 38 this year! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> j/k LOL!

Going for your Master's are you? After you finish getting your Matser's, are you going to go for your Doctorate? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Congrats on moving forward toward getting your Degree... you must feel pretty good about it all... especially with all that you have had going on.

How's biz going for you? Real Estate market still going well? The market is starting to go soft over here. They really over built, so housing prices are starting to drop.

Leah...

I would say that listening to what the Lord has to say about it all, is the best advice of all.

Just when you think you haven't got a clue as to what to do next... that's when the Lord will step in, and make it so very clear, that there will be no question in your mind as to what to do next.

Prayers to you and your family... and stay the course.

Petvet...

I keep seeing this "M" word come popping up everytime I see a post to you. Is there something that we all need to know about? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Glad to hear that you doing well. In regards to my Dad... he seems to be doing better, but he's got along way to go... so all I can do is support him, and say a lot of prayers.

avondale...

My G/F had her exH move just about 3 blocks from where she moved to. She hated it... she was always afraid of running into him... which she did on a number of occasions. He did in fact try to get her to take him back. When she told him "NO"! He decide to move to Indiana, where he has been ever since.

So, I won't read anything into the fact that your Hubby is real close to you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> You will definitely have to look your best at all times though... becuase you more than likely will run into him... so be prepared.

Me...

Well I have been busy! My Dad is doing better (Thank You Lord!), and I just finished up on my last round with the IRS.

Guess what?

I won!

Had Child Support problems as well, as far as my exW not paying, as well as her getting the CS payments (that she hasn't been making) dropped.

But I took care of all of that, and now everything is back to where it shoud be (even though she is over 9,000.00 plus in arrears).

After I get my tooth yanked out (my G/F is going to be there to hold my hand...LOL) I am going to take her out to dinner, so she can eat, and I can suck soup. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> So it will be probably Roses and dinner for Valentine's Day for me, and my G/F.

Now that I spilled the beans on my Valenitne's Day plans... what's everyone else got going... Hmmmmm?

Hope everyone is doing well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

<small>[ February 09, 2005, 09:17 PM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Hi all!

Avondale: I get it now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> What are your Valentines plans?

Relady: I would say that you have been taking care of alot of unfinished business in your life and doing a good job of it too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Wallace: Ouch! You are going to deserve something sweet next Monday after your dentist visit. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Me: No ring! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Later.

Hey All,

Nothing really new here for me today... just thought I would check in and say hi to everyone.

Petvet...

O.K., so no ring huh?

Does your buddy know that there is no ring coming within the near future? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I'm with you my friend, the closer I get to all of this (marriage), the more nervous I get. I think I'm still very very gun shy about the whole thing.

After the Dentist... I am going to need something sweet all right. Good thing my G/F is going to be there with me. LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


O.K. Everyone...

I'm still wating to hear from everyone what they have planned for Valentines's Day. I'm calling foul.

I told everyone what I had going on (I still can't believe that I have to have my tooth pulled because of bubblegum on Valentine's Day). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

So come on now... spill the beans everyone.

Me...

Has anyone else had this come up?

After all I have been through... I started to think about my exW today. I thought about all the good times we had... and how I wished I could turn back the hands of time and see if it would of played out any differently.

Anybody else question the... well what if I had done this? Would I be where I am today?

See what turning 38 years old will do to you!

I hope everyone's week is going well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Good Morning All

Trusting is still alive and kicking...at times <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . There has been so much going on lately at work and home that I've barely been able to keep up.

The dear wife's unexpected trip <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> over New Years with the new BF and all the children cuased a little relaspe in my forward progress but all is well now. Just took me a few weeks, OK, almost a month to get those feeligns of anger and frustration back under control <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .

For whatever reason it seems that the children have taken to wanting to sepnd extra time with Dad. Needless to say I've had at least one if not all a good portion of the month and that has taken most of my time. But I love it! But it has kept me from here. Hopefully this weekend I can catch up.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Wallace said:

After all I have been through... I started to think about my exW today. I thought about all the good times we had... and how I wished I could turn back the hands of time and see if it would of played out any differently.

Anybody else question the... well what if I had done this? Would I be where I am today?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Quickly I hope...I am guilty of sometimes thinking about the what if's and turning back the hands of times. But not near as often as I did I one time.

I personally think that it is a good sign that you can think and remember the good times that you had together. That's a far cry from many others who are still stuck on all the bad or wrong things that went on in the marriage.

Keep those thoughts, she was a huge part of your life...both the good and the bad and it is us who choose which thoughs and times we remember. I do prefer the smiles and pleasent thoughts that come along rather than the ones that cause the anger to stir up again.

<small>[ February 10, 2005, 08:08 AM: Message edited by: Trusting Him ]</small>

Trusting - Great to hear from you! I am glad you’re still around here. We need your encouragement and input!

Wallace - OK, you asked for Valentine’s plans. Mine are about as exciting as yours (probably less, since I don’t have a significant other <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ). I have been summoned for jury duty that day. I hope that at least I can get an interesting case. Then of course, since I am not dating (nor do I intend to) I will probably hide at home, LOL so no one will see me date-less.

As for the deeper question about thinking about ex’s....I agree with Trusting - that it’s probably healthier to be thinking about the memories in a positive way than being stuck on the negatives. For the most part, I have been able to dwell on the good memories, and for that I am very grateful. But as in all things in life, we sometimes wonder “what-ifs”. I am confident that I am in God’s hand and he has a plan for me, regardless of where my thoughts go.

Trusting Him,

So glad to know you're okay. I'm sorry you had the trip to deal with. I've often thought how even if H and I were divorced, I'd probably still be dealing with those feelings of rejection.

I guess as long as you have contact through children, the potential to feel those emotions is still there. Or maybe it's just based on the fact that we still care. I don't know.

I'm so glad you've been able to have the children so much this past month. Even though it's busy, it's wonderful that you can be such a big part of their lives.

Thanks for letting us know you're still out there. We miss you and all your words of encouragement when you're not here. God continue to bless you!


Wallace,

When is your birthday? I hope you have fun turning 39 again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'm glad to know at the end of the dentist visit, there will be someone there to share Valentine's Day with. I'll be praying that your visit with the dentist goes okay.

I'll be spending V-Day with my girls doing all the usual Mommy things. We might all go out for dinner.

Avondale,

Just know that even if there is no signifigant other, you are very special and loved deeply by God. You also have the respect and love of many others, including the "Tough Love" gang. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ February 11, 2005, 02:28 AM: Message edited by: Leah2be ]</small>

Hey All,

Glad to see that I'm not the only one who has these feeling of the Ex pop-up. I thought I was losing it there for a moment.

Trusting Him...

It's good to hear from you, and thank you for the uplifting post.

Sorry to hear that you had to deal with your former's antics during the Holidays. I just roll with the punches when stuff like that comes up. Your doing the right thing though... spending time with your kids is good for you, as well as them. My kids have been a life saver for me during all of this, as well as a lot of prayers. Your children will remember who was there for them... I know this from first hand experience. Keep up the good work.

Stay in touch more often... it's good to hear from you.

avondale...

I'll trade with you. You can go to the Dentist in my place, and I will take your place. The thought of getting my tooth yanked out just drives me crazy. There's not much that scares me... but I'm not a fan of having this tooth yanked out. I feel trapped when they are hovering over you, and they won't stop for you to take a drink of water or a breath of fresh air.

Leah...

Sounds like your going to have a pretty quiet Valentine's Day. It's good that you have your kids as well. To me... it's always been God and Family first above everything else. Stay with that frame of mind and you will be just fine.

Thanks for the prayers... as I can use all the help I can get. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Petvet, and relady...

All right you two... you still need to spill the beans here as far as Valentine's Day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Well I hope everyone has a very nice weekend.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

<small>[ February 11, 2005, 04:59 PM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Hey All,

The weekend is here already! Hope you all have a wonderful Valentines' Day.

Trusting Him

Glad to know we didn't have to send the police <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> glad to have you back and to see you're spending more time with your children.

Wallace

Ok, I'm saying Uncle!!

My valentines day plans are as follows: I'm going to curl up with a good book, Oh, I don't know, probably Accounting or Marketing, haven't decided yet <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

At the same time drowning myself in the only chocolates I got!(From my title company) It says "thanks a million"!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> And burning an 'Apple Pie Candle' because I don't know how to bake one. Happy Now! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Avondale

We need to take pointers from the guys!!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

relady

Avondale

When you get an opportunity, please let me know what part of Aruba is best, access to restaurants, shopping, etc. I'm still trying to decide between Aruba, Freeport, and a Jazz festival in Bermuda. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

relady

Hi Relady
I wasn't sure if you wanted me to reply here, but since I'm not sure the email address I have for you is current, I'll give the travelogue in this space. Sorry, everyone, for being off topic! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I just realized an unknown fact: In "real life", you and Leah have names of roommates on a famous TV show. Just a little triva to keep everyone else curious, LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

As for Caribbean travel: Bermuda is nice but their weather is similar to the Eastern US. Whatever temperature NC/SC is having, Bermuda is having something close (except no ice). It is NOT a warm place to be, IMHO. I used to be married to someone who has played at several jazz festivals there on different occasions. It's a British island so it's usually pretty clean. Is the jazz what interests you? If so, you might find similar caliber music at another location here in the states.

Freeport is OK. Very busy. IMHO, the Bahamas are a very tourist-y vacation destination because it is not too far from Florida (thereby being less expensive) and also is more of a "rip off" in the usual tourist ways (expensive T shirts, souveniers, etc.). It's a busy port for cruise ships, if I recall.

I would recommend one of the other islands-- St. Kitts, St. Croix, Aruba, etc. There are 2 websites, Arubaand Aruba BB that are good resources. I'm sure a little internet research would help you with the other islands too. Didn't you used to own a timeshare or something in the Caribbean? I can give you more specifics off this thread.

I hope this is of some help to you. One last piece of advice, DO NOT GO ANYWHERE, during Spring Break or the week or two after school gets out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ February 12, 2005, 04:43 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Thanks Avondale,

Yes, my exchange timeshare has been in Freeport for the last 4 years, I'm tired of those islands.

I've been on several jazz cruises and enjoy smooth jazz. I've been to the Capitol Jazz Festival, Newport Jazz Festival, etc.

**edit**

Thanks,
relady

Hi all! Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovely sweethearts on this thread. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Avondale: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. If I were you, I would go to a nice restaurant and have a nice meal and wine. Just take in the scenery. Enjoy it while you can because I don't expect you to be unattach for too long. Go for it!

Relady: The same goes for you. As far as travel is concern, I hate the Bahamas. It is a tourist rip off. Buddy swears by St. Kitt. She owns a condo there. It is very expensive to travel there but very lovely. We are planning on going to Hawaii with the kids this summer. Can you give any tips?

Wallace: If I were you, I would goner all of the sympathy I can from your GF after your dentist visit. With all the pain you will be feeling, you will need extra loving to ease the pain. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Oh! I have a different tact on thinking about good times from old relationship. I try to take the negatives and improve on things in this relationship and take the positives and enhance those things as well. It's all about making this relationship better than your old one.

Trusting: Glad you are back. I know it can get to you when your former and new beau and kids are acting like a family. All you can do is turn the other cheek and keep moving forward with your life.

Leah: Praying helps alot.

Me: The love ship has come to port and I am jumping on it. NO rings! She knows it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Later.

Happy Valentine's Day !

Hi to all my wonderful unseen friends! I wish you all a great day! Wallace, I hope all goes well at the dentist. Petvet, have fun with Buddy! Trusting, hope you have your kids with you today. Relady and Avondale, may it be a special day for you.

Thanks for all your on-going help and support. You're a great bunch! With love to all of you!

Happy Valentine's Day !

Yes, I do have the children today. Well...at least after school anyway. So no Grand plans except for work until later today.

Then it's just an evening with the children and possibly a movie since they have not decided yet what they would like to do.

PetVet

I can't really tell if they act like like a family or if the wife just wants/desires them to be a family. It is definately all one sided when it comes to the responsibility of his kids.

But...it going to be a wonderful dau so I'll hold that topic for another day. Just remind me to ask about severely lopsided relationships. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Congrats on the "Love Ship" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

<small>[ February 14, 2005, 08:31 AM: Message edited by: Trusting Him ]</small>

Happy Valentine's Day to All! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I hope everyone has a wonderful and positive day.

Wallace

Take my advice, ask the dentist to put you to sleep and when you wake up you have to connect a few dots on a paper and go home!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> You'll never know what happened.

Me, I can't stand the noise that goes with it, so I pay extra to go to sleep if it is anything serious!!

Petvet

Advice well taken. What part of Hawaii are you going to?

relady

Avondale and Relady,

Hi! Just wanted to let you know you both have mail.


Wallace, Trusting Him, and Petvet,

In case you want the answer to AVONDALE'S trivia question, you can e-mail me at Leahlike@yahoo.com. Hope you guys are all having a great week!

Hello everyone,
I am a new member to this board and have posted my situation under Is all hope lost?
I started reading the first few pages of this thread with Petvets story. I am where you were in the beginning...hurt, confused, hopeless and very much want to reconcile my marriage. Its been a month and I still cry every night..whenever I see him, I just want to wrap my arms around him and tell him i am sorry for the hurt I caused on him, but he is hurting me even more by abandoning me and his children for a woman he met on the internet and is "making him feel good about himself" I still feel there is something there between us, and he is trying to convince himself that he doesn't love me. I still haven't received any D papers he threatens me with when he gets angry with me for something. He still asks how I am doing when he calls for the children. One night he called and I was on the phone so it went to the voicemail he started out with "Well, I am assuming you are talking to your other people again and trying to get your situation going.." Why would he care? Does it sound like he is still thinking about it? Is reconciling still an option? i still love him s much. What are Plan A and Plan B?
Any advice and people to talk to would be wonderful since I am going through this pretty much alone.

Thanks,
Stacy