I have had a good week or so. I'm letting go, finally. I have been gearing up to move out on February 2. I've been spending a lot of time with friends. I've been doing Plan A; finally for me. It's making this whole new life seem not so scary. Am I nervous? You bet. But, I have excitement as well. The last 2 months have been really hard with my H "in love" with OW and me knowing it's almost over for us. He's not liking some of the detaching I'm doing; for example, last night, he was complaining about having to pick kids up. I said "well, in a couple of weeks, you won't have to do that anymore." He said "I'll still be around to help with that." I said "yes, but I won't be calling you for help because who knows where you'll be in the evenings." He said "do you think I'm going to be out every night?" I said (very calmly) "I don't know, and I don't care." He said "you really don't care?" I said "no; I'm detaching; I'm trying to disconnect from you emotionally; it's what you've wanted me to do for a very long time." He seemed really bummed the rest of the night.
Now, I am not intentionally trying to hurt him. It is, however, very uplifting to say what's on my mind (without LB'ing). I don't think my H really realizes yet what a D and moving to separate residences really means. I mean I think he's wants his independence, yet wants me there, waiting for him forever. I'm just not in that place anymore.....<p>I can be alone. But I don't HAVE to be if I don't CHOOSE to be.....<p>Growing, learning, walking closer with God. That's what's making it all seem better.<p>Thanks for listening to my little ramble. <p>PEACE,<p>MOM
