How do you search your heart to know if trying to save your marriage after H's A is the right thing to do?<p>I am so torn. I hurt all the time. We have so much history together, but is it worth the effort and the pain of trying to move on?<p>How do you find the strength to ask them to work on recovery when you are still angry with them?
How to get over the wall to open up and ask?<p>He is very hard to talk to. <p>I would love to recommend that we attend one of the marriage seminars in Feb...but am afraid to bring it up.<p>help me please...i am so sad and lonely.<p>I don't know which way to turn!

Hi and welcome roz,<p>I am sorry you have had so much pain from this marriage. It is no wonder in another post you said you didn't know whether you wanted the marriage or not.<p>Whatever you decide, please take the time to read the materials in this forum. Harleys have provided a good working plan to give the marriage a good chance, but also you will realise that following their Plan A will help you enormously. It is about being the best YOU there is......and that means growth for you, whether the marriage is recovered or not.<p>I wish you well.<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

yesterday i asked my stbx to meet with me this afternoon and talk. after being on this site and reading reading reading...i thought i was ready to try to save our marriage even though he had his A. i prayed and made copies of articles here and read them before i went in.<p>We met and he kept telling me that he thought "divorce" was the best option for us. i told him i didn't want a divorce..and wanted to try to work this out. no go. told him that i thought we needed some time to try to work this out. OW not in picture anymore..(or so he says) "she was too needy and got mad because I had time for my daughter but not here" <p>guess i was foolish because i thought we had a bond and a child..we have been through so much together (see post on divorce/divorcing..my soap opera story)<p>I think i am still in shock over his refusal to try to work things out, but at least i won't have to look back and say "what if" because i didn't try.<p>this hurts so bad. at least i am not in limbo anymore and can move forward...scarey ...<p>so if he calls me and says he has thought twice about his decision...what do i say? i am so tired of being hurt.<p>i feel like my heart has been ripped out !<p>after all the praying for a decision...guess the old saying of "be careful what you pray for" is true. just never thought of a negative response and didn't prepare myself for it...duh!<p>oh well, now rather than reading about trying to rebuild my marriage i must go back to the divorce sites and read about ending it.<p>thanks all<p>I am so sad and tired and lonely. Either choice