I stumbled onto this website while doing a research paper for college. My ex walked out on me 8/5/99 after eighteen years of marriage. No warning, just walked in on a Wednesday and said "It wasn't meant to be". I fought the divorce because I assumed it was mid-life crisis, enrolled in college to finish a degree I started 25 years ago, and tried talking with him to get him back. All this while coping with my own pain and the pain of two teenagers. I found out about the OW a year later, his secretary. They got married the same day my mother passed away this past November. I have been on the emotional roller coaster, felt suicidal, and immense grief. But, today I am looking at graduation in May at the age of 50 and looking forward to a job and a new life. It still hurts but I am much better. I sure wish I had found this site two years ago but I will link it with my web page for the new divorce persons who need the support. All in all, I will be fine, it's the children who suffer and carry the scars.<p>Anne

Anne,<p>Thanks for sharing your story. Yes, it probably would have helped you had you found this site in 1999.<p>My story is similar (see below). It is a tough road to be on, but I too must admit that I have made it thru the worst of it. <p>Even now (2+ years later) there are days when it all comes back to hit me in the face. I am just now filing for the divorce, something he was supposed to be doing, but didn't lift a finger to do. <p>Keep coming back to this forum and sharing with us. This forum save my life. There were many days when I was seriously ready to throw in the towel. I've learned alot from the people here and even tho I may not participate as I once did, I still lurk and throw in a comment here or there. <p>Thanks again.
Aloha,
Ms.O

Dear Anne,<p>Our time lines (& Ms O's) are so similar. I wish you would have found this site sooner. But, I'm glad you're here. <p>Read and post here all ya want. Its good to hear from those that are moving forward. Whatever you have to say, we'll sure understand. Lots and lots of venting and question asking goes on here. One thing is that we've been/are where you are/been.<p>I'm back in school too. Hope to graduate in 12/2002... (keeping my fingers crossed!). <p>Yes, I do feel its the children that suffer.... but of course, the WS doesn't think so... my exh feels they're all grown up now... and "they are who they are"... isn't that a bunch of crap... like teenagers/young adults don't require guidance...<p>Remember... we have all had the same feelings as you....Its nice to post here and find that you're not going crazy.<p>Take Care..<p>Blessings,
s

Sorry I forgot to mention this....<p>if you need other websites for your web page here are a few....<p>www.divorcebusting.com
http://www.affairs-help.com<p>If you need more let me know...<p>s

Thanks for responding to my message. This is the first "chatting" I have done on the internet becaause I have been so busy with school since my ex walked out. <p>QUESTION: I don't know all the short cut codes so how can I find out? I figured out OW is other woman, slu_ is a better word, but I won't expound on that subject. <p>ANOTHER QUESTION: How do you get the stats of the divorce at the bottom. Was that the signature part of signing in that I bypassed?<p>This is a great place for anyone still coping with divorce. My heart goes out to everyone at all the different stages. The grief seems so immense at times. I am going on 2 and a half years and I still feel deep pain at certain times. When I went to Divorce Care they referred to it as being "ambushed". It certainly feels like it which is why we have up days and down days. I feel like that poster from the sixties: Stop The World I Want To Get Off!<p>Anne

There used to be a short-cut codes post, but heck if I know where it is. I'll try to list some that I know:<p>D-Day = the day you found out about affair
OW, OP, OM = Other Woman (yes, sl*t is a good word too, Other Person, Other Man
STBXH or STBXW = Soon to be ex-husband or wife
FOO = Family of Origin (like your siblings, parents)
D = Daugher
S = Son
MIL, FIL = Mother in law, Father in law
MB = Marriage Builders
Plan A, B = Marriage Builders concepts<p>There's lots more, but I can't think of them right now...just ask if you need to.<p>Yes, fill out the signature portion of you profile with pertinent info....try to summarize if possible. Just look at other's info and you'll get the idea.<p>Ambushed is indeed what it is like! That's a good word.<p>Aloha,
Ms.O

EA = Emotional Affair
PA = Physical Affair