I have been with my husband for almost 16 years and in Nov of 2000 he told me he was not happy and no longer in love with me. I have been dealing with this since he told me. We have 2 young children together. It's been very rocky here since he first told me how he felt. Until just a week or so ago, I honestly felt that I was still in love with him. He has mentioned divorce sevearl times but hasn't done anything about it. I have suggested marriage counseling, we actually went. It didn't work out well, he felt I was always bashing him. Even though he says he has no emotional connection with me, he is still here. I gave him an ultimatum last week. I told him that he needed to decide if trying to work on the marriage was one of his priorities or not. After a day of not talking, I finallty asked him. He said, yes he would like to work on it. He even came home from going out for a drink to sleep in the same bed. I am so confused on what he actually wants. There is no communication between us. I can't honestly say that there ever really was. I know this is what we need to work on, but he is not really willing to do anything about it. I am so tired og the back and forth of the marriage. I am physically exhausted from not knowing what's going to come next or how he'll react to anything. When he told me yes, he was willing to try, I didn't have a genuine feeling regarding his answer. I honestly felt it would have been easier for him to say no so I could have gone to file on Tues. I think he is going through a mid life crisis. I just don't know how much longer I can be patient. Can anyone give any suggestions or advice?

If your H has mentioned wanting to work on marriage, this is the place to be. <p>You shoudl both read His Needs/Her Needs by Harley and all the info. on this site. This will give you the tools to get your marriage back on track. <p>Then print out the EN and LB questionaire from this site and each of you fill it out. Then you will know what areas you need to work on and what behaviors you need to fix.<p>If you want a jump start - after you read the material, you should have a counseling session with one of the marriage builders counselors and they can set you up with a plan on how to fix your marriage.<p>You can also call in to the radio show Monds. at 1pm CST and talk to Willard Harley. Just go to the radio link on this site.<p>If you are curious about the acronyms and want some info. for new members, then scroll down to a post by Anna2000 that says for new members and ther eshould be some helpful links there.<p>There is also a post on the GQII board with links to other books to read.<p>For answers to more specific questions about meeting each other's needs - post on the emotional needs board.<p>Basically the principle is that anyone can restore the love in their marriage. You do this by meeting each other's top emotional needs. The info. on this site and in the book will explain it all. <p>You can have a fantastic marriage if you both want to work, so give it a try and see what happens. The goal is for each one of you to be happy in the marriage.<p>K