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#720733 02/07/02 09:02 PM
Joined: Jun 1999
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Well, I guess this thread has irritated hopeful. . . that too was never my intention. My intention was simply to seek out some type of support for my own depression over the entire situation.<p>I don't think I have based hopeful in this thread, but I know that I have based myself quite a bit.<p>Bottom line here folks is that both hopeful and I are at fault in the deterioration of our marriage. My only hope now is that we can maintain enough of a friendship to be able to give our daughter the love she needs.<p>* * * * * *<p>I just went back and re-read everything I have written in this thread. I think that I have been much harder on myself than I have hopeful.<p>Hopeful, I am sorry if this thread has upset you. . . That was NEVER my intention.<p>[ February 07, 2002: Message edited by: Empty Shell ]</p>

#720734 02/08/02 09:11 AM
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Well, It's Friday morning. I slept about four hours, off and on, last night.<p>I pick up my daughter tonight, so I am not really sure what type of reaction to expect from my STBX, especially after her reaction to this thread.<p>I hope today stays calm.

#720735 02/08/02 04:28 PM
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[hopeful]Well, I knew there was a reason that I stopped reading here. I'm not real keen on being blamed for everything that has gone wrong in my marriage and for destroying ES. I admit that I made mistakes but for crying out loud. I'm not ALL to blame. That is some of the reason why I left. I was tired of getting the feeling from ES that everything wrong in our marriage was my fault and he isn't to blame for any of it. Boy I wish I hadn't come back. I hate being blamed for everything since it seems that everyone here feels that way and seems to be blaming me as well as ES.[/hopeful]<p>Hopeful, contrary to what you believe, this thread was not about you, or your marriage. It is about the process that ES is going through after you both chose your divorce. It is a normal process, and I don't feel like I blamed you at all. You both have said that you had an unhealthy marriage. Yes, the math formula means that a marriage between you and ES = unhealthy marriage. Subtract you from the equation and you get the same answer. This is NOT an attack on you. <p>Please understand that although you may not be feeling the same as ES at this time, that all of us process the end of a marriage (chosen or not) in the same way - it is a grieving process. It is healthy to grieve. <p>You, hopeful, are jumping to the defense, assuming that because ES needs support, and is receiving it, that someone is against you. Simply not true - we are not an "either/or" board, we are a support board. <p>Please respect ES's fragile condition right now, and do not add anything to his plate. That would be the kind thing to do.<p>TNT

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