In November my husband and I were at work ( we worked together for about six months) and I felt as though something was wrong so I asked. He responded by saying that he didn't feel the love for me that he should have felt for a wife. He sees me as his friend. The past few months have been hell. we have had many hurtful times and a couple of happy times. When this all unfolded, we were still living together of course. Now he's staying with a friend. He intends to file for a divorce. He says he doesn't see his feelings changing. There are a couple of things that have me confused. Since that conversation, he has made love to me about eight times. When I ask him why, he states that he just wanted to be close to me. He insists on paying my rent and all my bills. I quit the job and I'm looking, but have been unemployed for about two months. I asked him if I should just take my old job back and he insists that I look for something better that will make me happier. He doesn't care how long it takes, and insists on supporting me until I find something. He has moved all of his clothes and stuff for the bathroom. He left a few items of clothing and everything else. about two weeks ago, we went to see an attorney. He still claims he wants a divorce. After that appointment he said that he needed to come by my apartment to get his ties. Then he seduced me. I don't know what to think. I wonder if I have any hope of leading him back. I have been trying to focus on his E needs. But I think his defenses are up, resisting any love deposits I try to make. Please help.

I don't think you said whether or not there was another woman, but from the sounds of things and all I have read here, he sure has the classic symtoms of having an affair going on. Read about plan A and B and meeting his needs and just keep working at it.

He says he's not having an affair, but I keep having horrible dreams that he is. Thank you for your help.

It sounds like he is feeling guilty and is trying to compensate by supporting you and being nice to you. He is miserable that he is hurting you, so unwillingly, is hurting you more by making love to you and telling you he wants you to be happy. I don't necessarily think he's having an affair, but something is going on. Could it be a MLC? Be honest with yourself, did this just happen or was there a gradual pulling away? <p>Perhaps you two can talk and get to the core of the problem.

Do you know the friend that he is staying with?<p>It sure sounds like an absolute classic sign of an affair...<p>AGG

Hi<p>Sorry that you're here....<p>I have to agree that it sounds like there is someone else. One of my very good friends found her H with another women after he moved out. I sorry to say this, but what he is saying and doing are classic signs.<p>Another website is www.divorcebusting.com They have a board on the MLC. Read... Love Must be tough by James Dobson and read, vent and post all you can here and on the other board.<p>Blessings,
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