A couple of months ago I would have never dreamed I would be posting a message to this site. My husband of 18 years told me he needed time to sort things out and didn't know if he was commited to our marriage. That came as a total shock to me. Sure, we had our arguments, but I had no idea that he was thinking of ending our marriage.
A lot has happened in the last few months. I found out that there is another woman that he claims is a "friend". Someone he can talk to who doesn't judge or critize him. This has been very hard to deal with.
I did start going to counseling and that has helped some. He has gone on his own once and with me a couple of times. He is unsure of why he's going to counseling, worse case senerio is to be able to communicate, he's not sure.
One of his reasons for our eperation has been that I tell him how he thinks and feels. I have recently discovered that I did communicate that to him. In trying to "fix" things I did tell him and my kids how to think and feel. Don't get me wron, I'm not shouldring all the blame for the problems in our marriage, I'm just discovering my part in them.
One of the things that really confuse me is that I don't have a chance to apply what I have learned to our marriage.
The other thing that confuses me is that I don't understand how I could want to be with him after all I've been through. My head and my heart are in disagreement.
I have probably communicated that I'm not in pain, I am. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I'm getting a bit better, but it's constantly on my mind.
I jut recently made a decision to not call him. Each day that I don't talk to him feels like an eternity.
Any help or suggestions would be greaty appreciated.

Welcome to Marriage Builders! <p>This site is full of information geared towards saving marriages. Unfortunately I am divorced, but there are many success stories here. <p>You may be more comfortable on the Just Found Out forum, or General Questions II, that is where most people begin, and where there will be tons of people going through the same experiences and pain. You are welcome to post wherever you would like, here on the Divorcing/Divorced board we have lots of people who are a great support, but most of us are in the process of divorce.<p>This page will give you a basic overview of the Marriage Builders concepts, Start Here<p>And this page will tell you about Plan A and Plan B.<p>Give these a read, and if you have any questions let us know!<p>I'll probably be up really late tonight, so post back here later if you can and tell me your impressions, and I'll watch for you.<p>Elizabeth