hi rwd,
thanks for clarifying what i see as a problem with understandings of plan b, separation and divorce.
Hope you are doing well.

I have to admit I haven't read the whole thread either, I just don't have the patience these days for either of your long drawn out diatribes (I recognize that was a judgemental comment). But, it is how I FEEL and SNL, you of all people should understand that one just feels what they do and it is ok.<p>Anyway, I digress. While you havne't shared the specifics of your business (other than it has to do with HVAC repair and you are the technician and she is the office/bookeepper person). How long have you been in business? How do you share profits/debt? Is she paid a salary? Are you? Or do you just take in the revenues, pay the business bills and then buy the groceries and pay the mortgage with what is left over? Do you file taxes seperately on the biz? Is is a corporation or a partnership or how is it catogorized by the IRS? <p>And one question (certainly a disrespectful judgement and none of my business), but how do you ever make any money at it when you are on the computer at least 40 hours a week????<p>It seems to me that the services of an accountant or lawyer are necessary here to give the two of you an expert opinion as to the viability of splitting up the business? Who is going to get what and who is going to have to give/do what?<p>SNL, what you are asking - that Thinker keep doing what she has done, at least transitionally so you can come up with a plan as to how to move the business forward (or shut it down) IS NOT UNREASONABLE!! But, you and I both know she isn't going to do it. She can't. She won't. And your expectation of her is only going to continue to frustrate you.<p>See an expert.

I'm confused a bit here, SnL. Why are you so surprised, you've been reading here for so long.<p>Since I read that Thinker is going into Plan B, and since you DO KNOW the Harley's principals so very well (disrespectful judgments, etc. and all ......) wouldn't you consider "Financial Support" an Emotional Need of yours? I certainly would.<p>Financial Support = Thinker working for SnL<p>And isn't one of the primary purposes of Plan B to NOT meet any of the Emotional Needs of the Wayward Spouse?<p>I really think this is what it all boils down to, IMHO.<p>Jo<p>[ March 25, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

SNL,<p>Why not end the business now rather than later?
Go ahead and bite the bullet and go back to work for someone else...that way you'll pretty much know what your income will be and can start the child support payments as direct deposit..from your check..take out any insurances and such that you'll need to take out..<p>When you are in place with a company you can contat all of your customers and let them know that you are now working for whoever..and take their business with you...<p>Or close your business down as it is now..
and reopen it under another name for you alone..
and hire someone else to do thinkers job..move the offices to your new home..and make an office there for someone else to work from so that all of your records are together..or hire thinker to come to your home/office and work..<p>Which would seem to actually work the best..you take all of your office and tool stuff to new home
and then you can hire thinker..as an employee..
then after her 8 hour shift she can go home..and you have access to all of your tools and business records..you'd have someone who knows the business and the customers..and who knows..maybe by seperating the two business and home..you could actually gain a marriage relationship again..

I will comment since I am thinker, When we lived in Virginia my WH started with a company there in HVAC, and little by little started his own HVAC business there parttime, then moved into it full time. I did the calls, the records, the banking etc. I couldn't get parts, cause we had 4 little kids, and I did day care in the home and gave piano lessons. <p>We we moved to Michigan 13 years ago, I ran the business in Virginia, and he started one in Michigan. He would go for 3 or 4 days in Virginia and I would set calls for the days he was here in MIchigan. Eventually the Virginia he ended and did the business here in Michigan. I took the calls, dispatched, records, and I also worked part time nursing. When I didn't do nursing, I took in daycare.<p>SNL depends on me for the business, I have things organized, and easy to find. I tried for 2 years now to get it on the computer, but SNL was not wanting to at that time. Now of course, he doesn't want to cause he wants to give the business up. <p>We are separated, for the reason we are on each others back. I think the threshold of SNL and the midlife crisis has taken an effect on him. I know my menopause got rough, but I sought help and am grateful for a great OBGYN. I feel SNL has hit that midlife crisis, he does not have a good opinion of himself, degrades himself frequently, and finds fault with us here. States to me that none of us love him, which is not true. I love him very much, and this is why it hurts so much. The kids are having a hard time with the affair issue, and it must be difficult for the one son who read SNL sexual e-mail he was sending to the other woman, SNL accidentally sent it to the sons printer. <p>Steve Harley will not help SNL and I with the separation, SNL is not in the separation to try to achieve a cool down time, SNL wants the separation for divorce, and the Harleys do not work on divorce. They are here for the purpose of saving marriages, not destroying marriages, or criticizing marriages.<p>My input for now.