beth, I was just rereading an old post in the notable posts section when I was new to MB (2/00) and read a number of responses from you. When I checked your recent posts, the last one I found was 1/02, here on D/D. It's been 16 months now for me - H still drinking and drugging, still with OW, I'm back on track for divorce. <p>Is your divorce final yet? I haven't dated or anything, but after I gave H ultimatum and he chose OW instead of me, I started to feel really lonely. I hung on for so long, sure that he'd decide to get sober again and come home. Wrong. He's giving up our business, our home, his friends, even to some extent, his family, to be able to carry on his present lifestyle with drugs and alcohol and very much younger (and fatter and uglier [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] ) OW. <p>How long does the grief last?