I need to stock up on some good books to help me through all of this divorce crap. <p>Maybe something about coping with divorce, and maybe something about being single again. <p>Any of you have any suggestions?<p>
Thanks <p>RN

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Roughneck:
<strong>I need to stock up on some good books to help me through all of this divorce crap. <p>Maybe something about coping with divorce, and maybe something about being single again. <p>Any of you have any suggestions?
RN</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Hi, I went through an extremely nasty divorce back in '98. The book, "Growing Through Divorce" by Jim Smoke helped me immensely. It is crammed with good solid Christian tips and insights. That book, and the help of Family and Christian Friends got me through a very rough time.
Thanks for reading.
God bless you, Harold

Hit Barnes & Noble or Borders when you are home. The will have a huge section on Divorce. They are kind of like the library cause you can grab a few, get a cup of coffe, sit down in a comfy chair and peek in the books.<p>This way you will be able to see which ones kind of speak to you, and if you don't want to buy them all you can have your library do an inter-library loan for them if they don't have them. <p>Which books to try is kind of subjective, I have one that really speaks to me, and that I keep re-reading, but it is for girls so might not help a roughneck like yourself much.<p>I'll give you two titles, one is not about divorce, only about going thru $hit. <p>Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On by Stormie Omartian. Good read. Take it slow to soak it up. It is a Christian book and I forget what you are though. <p>The other one is A Woman's Guide to Healing the Heartbreak of Divorce. Um, prolly not something you wanna bring with you on the rig, but I could send it to you if you want. Either of them.<p>Elizabeth

Try,
"Picking Up the Pieces" by Clyde Colvin Besson (Christian based)

"Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends" by Dr Bruce Fisher. I liked this one alot.<p>Bob

Evoman,<p>Am I presume from the name that your a rider, if so what do you ride?<p>Books, man I had a problem finding books but more importantly time to read books. Now I'm no "bible thumper" but I went to one of the sites that allowed you to look up bible verses by subject, i.e. adultry, and printed stuff out. That helped me out a lot. <p>To me the hardest part of getting through all this is re-discovering who you are as a single person. Setting some personal growth goals and plotting a course to achieve them. It took me quite a bit of time to sort through the emotions and peak my head up through the foggy abyss that is caused by divorce but with time and friends I'm at a good place now.<p>Best of luck.

The book that helped me understand the stages and emotions I was going through is called "Crazy Time" by Abigail Trafford. The title says it all. This is a very crazy time in our lives. The author went through a divorce herself and she has case studies of people leading up to divorce, divorcing, and life after divorce. It helped validate my feelings and it gave/gives me hope about the future.

Thanks everyone, keep um coming! I have hitches where I might not be busy at all. I have plenty of time to read Men's Health,Maxim and FHM, why couldn't I read something that would help me improve myself emotionally! <p>Lost Husband,
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Evoman,
Am I presume from the name that your a rider, if so what do you ride?<hr></blockquote><p>You presumed right! I've had a Harley since I was 16 yrs old. Now I own two of them. A 1974 FLH shovel head and a 95th anniversary 1998 Dyna Wide Glide (Evolution, hence the name evoman.). I have got a 2003 100th anniversary Road King ordered. Should be in around October. <p>I even started a motorcycle club called the ROUGHNECKS in Louisiana! Guys that work in the oil and gas industry and bikers too. That way we have two things in common.
We do a lot of things like putting on events to help the needy and lots of things to help charities like the MDA, March of Dimes, and St. Jude's hospital. We even do a toys for tots around Christmas every year! I love being involved in such an organization! Sometimes it make me realize that I don't have it that bad after all!

There are specific books on Divorce, and there are general books on philosophy of Life, which take you through all aspects of life. . . .<p>I prefer the general books because i can apply it to more than just divorce, and it sure beats $100/hr counseling for the same interaction, stuff.<p>"If you meet the buddha on the Road, Kill him"<p>"The road less travelled"<p>"Passionate Marriage"<p>"Private Lies"<p>"The Goal"<p>"If the Buddha Dated"<p>"If the Buddha Married"<p>those are some big reads about life philosophies, and "the goal" is more about work than life, but the structure still applies. . . .<p>good luck. . . .

I read Maxim too. In the bathroom at my sis and BIL's house. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Maybe I could send some of my old issues of Cosmo. You would learn a thing or two from them, although probably not about emotional needs and coping with divorce. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

If you have time to be self evaluating and write in a workbook, get RELATIONSHIP RESCUE by Dr. Phil McGraw. It is not really about "fixing" a relationship at all. It is about looking into yourself, your own behaviours, desires, actions etc & what you want & expect from a relationship with others. Discovering what faults you might take responsibility for in yourself etc.There are many very good thought provoking questions & assignments.<p>A book I just started & cannt put down is "IN THE MEANTIME" by Inyala Vanzant. How we often are in relationships 'in the meantime' making do, not really sure what we want, experiencing lessons but not always carying what we learned with us to the next relationship. These can be not just with a love interest, but family members etc. She uses examples of other people very well, what they were thinking, missed learning, learned & realized later. Likens life to "cleaning house" and this house has 4 floors. Determining what we want from life & how to find it. DO at least browse the contents of this one in the book store.!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I have a shelf full, but so far "In the meantime" is a book I can identify to the feelings very well. Another I have bought is "HELP YOURSELF" by Dave Pelzer. Its about overcoming whatever your odds are to find hope, courage and happiness. It is also a more down to earth and personal book, but I have not got very far yet. I put it down for the other one above.<p>I also have LIFE STRATEGIES by Phil McGraw. He's got a new one out now called Self Matters.
MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN FROM VENUS: In Relationships.

Excellent! Keep um coming! I am going to print this thread out next week and take it home with me. I want to have a wide selection of books to check out so maybe I can find something that I can relate to. <p>Thanks again!

Just bumping up.<p>Good post Roughneck. I too would like to read up on this "divorce crap" myself.<p>Dino