Hey all,<p>I am on the verge of tears and need a hug.<p>I had a really bad day. My boss was on a mission to make my day miserable. Guess what? He succeeded! <p>He has been out of town all week. I needed to go over important things with him. We needed money transferred for payroll and bills. He has to okay this and okay the amount. He came in today at 3:00 and then gave me about 15 minutes of his time, and then at 5:00 proceeded to tell me that I had all day to take care of his crap and didn't do it! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] Like I had a choice! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>He then proceeded to complain and tell me these figures should have been ready for him at 3:00. Which they were ready but he amended my figures so they changed! Of course there was no telling him that.<p>Anyway, he was a total jerk to me. He was a jerk to a few people today so I guess I can't say it was just me he was picking on.<p>I know he had a rough trip but sheesh. I didn't take a lunch, waiting on him, because I knew this needed to be done. Then he ended up not getting it done afterall! So he tells me that he will set it up and give me the instructions on what to do. Well by then I had to pick up the kids, and drop off the company mail and then went back to work at 6:00 to get more instructions, just to end up getting more torture! AND trust me he gave it to me.<p>I know next week he'll probably be nicer. I've only been there two months and he's gave me two raises already. I think he compensates in this way for days like today.<p>Anyway, today, I just wonder if a good salary is worth the bull crap!<p>The CPA told me a couple of weeks ago, that in our office we need two salaries, one harrassment salary and one regular salary. I think he's right.<p>Well, I need a hug, and I guess I needed an unexpected vent. I was only planning to write one sentence, "I had a bad day, I need a hug." [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Take care and thanks for listening!<p>ANNA

Hi Anna my heart goes out to you, I know how it feels to have a boss that has a narrow mind and insensitive....<p>These kinds of bosses I call the "WET DIPER BOSS" they're full of crap and always on your A***...I don't cuss but you get the picture.. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

((((ANNA)))))<p>Haven't hugged another woman in a long time.<p>Hope it makes tomorrow go better for you.<p>Wallace

Thanks ((((Everlasting)))) Thanks (((Wallace))))<p>Hugs back! <p>Hope it was as good a hug for you as it was for me Wallace. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>ANNA

Hi Anna,<p>There is nothing better than a good hug.<p>Well... there are a few other things...<p>Wallace

Anna,<p>I am so sorry you had a bad day. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I know what those kind of bosses are like too..
I've worked for them too...<p>I worked for one company for about a year..w/ a boss like that..and there were FIVE, thats right
FIVE OTHER women who quit during the time I worked there..some of them left for lunch and didn't come back..another one left friday and didn't come back the following Monday..HE changed MY HOURS accordingly..meaning I'd have to come in earlier
and stay later..I was doing MY job, And thier job..this was during the time right after my ex moved out, and I was having so many problems at home w/son in school getting into trouble..missing the bus..everything..everyone else at the company was great..just this one person..he didn't have any kids..didn't want any kids..<p>he'd take off early some days to take his wife out then come back late at night to get his work done..then B**** at everyone else all day "because HE WAS THERE ALL NIGHT!!" getting done what he didn't get done the day before because he left..then he's B***** at me because I wasn't done with the typing by 10:00 in the morning and it HAD to be out of the office YESTERDAY!!!Yet, I couldn't do it the day before because HE WASN'T THERE!! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] and that was MY FAULT???<p>They would hire someone..and she'd be there a month or two long enough for ME to train them..and they'd quit because of HIM!! So for the YEAR I worked for this company..I was literally training every new receptionist that came in there (and that wasn't my job) two of us even started the same day..and they had ME training her..I miss a couple of the ppl who work there..but not HIM..<p>I told him one day, Just because you left early and didn't get YOUR work done, doesn't make it MY fault that I couldn't get MY JOB DONE, it's YOUR's
so don't yell at me..he said, well you could have come in at 10:00 last night..I said, NO, I couldn't..I have a family at home that is MORE important than THIS JOB!! I was looking for a job when I found this one..I can look for another one..I also told him I don't need the abuse from HIM, no amount of money was worth it..I also let him know (was setting boundaries) if it happened again I'd be another one to walk out that door and NOT come back..I mean this man would chew me out in front of customers..(he did this to all the women) he didn't care who was standing there..he'd just start yelling at you..you could be on the phone w/ a client from another company, or a business associate from another company and he'd walk up and start b******* about something, you'd ask him to wait till your off the phone and he'd lose it even more..then he'd complain that I'd answer the phone when he was standing there..(we weren't supposed to let it ring more than twice)
everything was sooooo conflicting.. I was hired to do one job, but I was actually doing the job of three people..when I'd started there were three girls who had quit the day before..one of which they knew was going to be leaving..she had given two weeks notice..and was supposed to train me, she wasn't there..she didn't work out her two weeks..I was blest in the fact that I'd done this type of work before and knew how to do it, albeit it had been 9 years..but that desk was a mess, the girl who left, had papers that needed filed on the desk that had been there for TWO YEARS!!!! the files had been closed and were in storage..so any time I wasn't very busy I was in the storage room filing these papers..I had the filing caught up in about 3 weeks, plus trained the girl who started the same day I did, plus kept up with the new work...grrrrrrrr...needless to say, when I went in one day and he let me go..I was more relieved than mad..(he said I wasn't working out)
I just wasn't taking his crap..and was tired of biting my tongue every time he chewed me out for something that wasn't MY FAULT!!(I'd also just finished reading Boundaries) he was fine as long as I took all the blame and he didn't have to..if I sat there and didn't say a word and bit my tongue..and just said "yes,sir, I'm sorry sir"
they didn't pay me enough..and I was ready to walk out the door the next time he said something to me in front of someone..and he knew it..because I told him..<p>But, anyway...I wasn't meaning to go off on a tangent... [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I need to get ready for school...

TR,<p>That was a good tangent. hehe. Well, there are definitely similarities in my boss and yours. He has a track record of people walking out in the middle of the day. I've heard incredible stories. I was the 4th or 5th bookkeeper in less than a year.<p>The differences I can see in your old boss and mine is that he does have days of praise and days that I actually like him. Right now, there are more days of liking my job than hating my job. If it ever turns around then I'll be looking for work.<p>He doesn't expect me to work at night or do strange hours, but he does expect me to take the blame when he messes up.<p>I also think he's got some sort of mental disorder. He reminds me of a even more extreme Jack Nicholson in "As good as it gets." He says things that are mean and calls people names alot. Then he turns around and shows this big heart. Also, I noticed there are a few employees, me included, that he mainly tries hard to treat well. I think he tries to keep the ones he thinks are good workers. <p>Here's the good things about my job.<p>It's three minutes from my house.<p>My boss allows me to be some what flexible, he's not a clock watcher...usually.<p>I can run home in two minutes if the children need me, and he doesn't have a problem with that.<p>He treats us to lunch about 3 times a week at nice places.<p>He pays well.<p>I get fulfillment out of doing my job well.<p>Okay, the down side.<p>He is NEVER wrong.<p>Every other word out of his mouth is "F" or "GD".<p>There are times he tries on purpose to make you look like a fool to others...although, I do think it backfires and he ends up looking bad.<p>He tells employees they are stupid and verbally abuses them. He yells and screams at them and I'm usually close by and have to listen to all this.<p>When he is at his worse he verbally abuses me. Although, I usually don't take it and I will come back with smart remarks when he tries it with me. Which is why I think he may back off from me most of the time, it's like he respects you a little more for standing up to him....to an extent, if you go over the line, I know even I would be out of there.<p>Well, like I said, as long as more days are good, I'm staying there, but if it changes, I'm out the door.<p>Also, on the verbal abuse, if I ever see his abuse getting to my self esteem, I'd be out of there too. Right now, I see through his verbal abuse as his own self esteem problems, and as it making him look bad, not me.<p>Take care TR,<p>ANNA

TR,<p>One more quick observation. The reason he said you weren't working out is because you set your boundaries and didn't put up with his crap. <p>He's a man that needs to feel he has power and control. He's a man with low self esteem. By not playing into his hands, his self-esteem was becoming lower. You challenged him on the blame game.<p>He can't have that.<p>Well, just a thought.<p>ANNA

Anna,
You may think you need hugs, but what I read was that you were able to detach and understand that his outbursts were his problem and not yours. That's healthy.
I like the setting boundaries idea.
If you're really tired of his antics, buy him a few books. Try "The Verbally Abusive relationship" and "Anger at Work". Maybe he'll get the hint. The VAR also offers advice on how to diffuse anger.
Good Luck.

Anna,<p>My old boss bought lunches and stuff too, he had his good days..but his bad days were more often than his good days...<p>Personally, I think the days were good when he got laid the night before..and if he didn't it was his own frustrations he was taking out on everyone else..epsecially the women..because he was misplacing his anger at her onto us..just a speculation on my part..not that I ever asked him
ick..wouldn't even want to picture that..YUCK!!!<p>I say that only because I know that they had some problems..mostly having to do w/ her sister living w/ them..he used to talk about that all the time..
and he spent many hours surfing the web and listening to sports broadcasts..<p>But, yes, I think for me personally, he didn't like that I set boundaries..the other ladies just left the job and didn't try to talk to him about the problems..I tried..I set those boundaries..
My immediate supervisor would b**** about him behind his back but never say anything..she just took the abuse..took the yelling in front of those she supervised..took the put downs and the name calling..I wouldn't..and I encouraged her NOT TO..<p>but, then I also had a problem w/ the fact that they wanted the 'ladies' in the office to vacuum all the offices, and clean all of the bathrooms..
make the coffee, organize monthly birthday parties for office personal, and help orgnaize any additional office parties and meetings, and clean up after the parties and meetings, (none of which is given in the job discription upon hiring)and they didn't pay enough for me to do my job, train new employees, clean up after everyone..and plan parties..heck I did those things as homemaker..I didn't need to go to work and do all of those things PLUS everything else..<p>The office manager had me training the new personal because she 'didn't' have time..but did I get her pay??? Nope..but then I wouldn't go in at night and work either..I had the attitude if I couldn't get done in 8 to 9 hours what needed to be done..then it would be there the next day..and I'd make a list of what didn't get finished and put that at the top of the list to finish in the morning..most of the time..I had everything finished w/ other things added..plus cleaning bathrooms, taking out the trash, vacuuming the floors, watering the plants..and to get still yelled at for something not getting done...grrrrr<p>Oh he would also ask me for help w/ internet stuff, and computer things..two of the ladies they hired crashed the computer in the front office..
and because I know about computers instead of spending the $200 an hour to have the repairman come out and fix it..he had me looking at it while they were at lunch..and yes, I was able to fix it during her lunch hour and it was back up before I went to lunch..saving the company money..<p>when the VP and the owner crashed their computers they called my boss and asked if I could come look at them..I was able to fix those too, the only problem w/ being able to get a job working on computers w/ a company that does that..is I would need the "certificate" saying I knew what I was doing...or I could have been making 4x what I was making there..which really sucks..but oh well..<p>Talk to you boss about his actions..say something like..With all due respect Mr. So and So, I really enjoy working here, and I love my job, but It really bothers me when you do these things..and I'd hate to feel like I have to quit because of these things..I understand if I do something wrong that you need to let me know, and I respect that, but could you please not reprimand me in front of others? And show me some respect in this area.<p>If he understands that he may work to improve that area..at least in relationship w/ you..he may not with others..but with you..he may..let him know you don't appreciate it..and when you do..treat him w/ the same respect you'd want to be treated..
like..talking privately in the office where others aren't privy to what the complaint it..<p>That is how I broached it w/ my boss as well, I talked to him privately..but he didn't work on it all..it's like it got worse..because he felt I was challenging his authority or something..and yes, when he did things like that..it made HIM look bad in front of others..Others w/in the company were like.."How can you put up with that???" "Is this job that important to you, that you put up w/ the abuse??" I even had complaints from customers when they were on the phone and he'd come in and start yelling..had I known then what I learned over the next six months then..I'd have taken one of them up on their offer to change employers..LOL

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ BIG Hugz Anna }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p>A day late, but it's a sincere HUG nonetheless.<p>I'm sorry for the cranky-azz Boss. Had my share, too.<p>Love,
Jo