Met with WS after 6mnths of no contact. Briefly lifting no contact rule when he had to fetch children and I had nobody to see them off. <p>WS phoned to arrange meeting regarding children spending holidays with him. He has relocated to another city so children need to fly on alternate weekends. He even asked me if I don't want to relocate so that he can be near the kids.<p>I think he was very taken aback by the new me. No more anger, judgements or disrespectful behaviour towards him. For the first time in a year we were relaxed in each other's company so much so that dinner which should of lasted about 20 minutes, lasted 3 hours.<p>He has started DV proceedings but thus far he is the one to take his time responding to my ATTY. I am playing very much on the time factor.<p>What confuses me completely is that he kept on telling me last night he cares about me. When I mentioned that there has been a drop in our way of living, he seemed genuinely perturbed and said he does not want that.<p>Because, I have really worked on myself the last couple of months, emotionally I was very strong. <p>Financially he is struggling because he must now maintain two families and his extravagant lifestyle with OW over the past couple of months has finally catched up. <p>He is still dead set about the Dv even though we did not speak about it last night. He kept on telling me how good I look.<p>Whilst we and the children has made steady progress and are well on our way to recovery, told him how we are spending our time now and how much fun we were having. (His eyes mist up and he had that far out look). <p>What shocked me was the fact that his path has been strewn with problems. His health has deteriorated. He had to relocate to another city, in 1yr he has moved between houses three times, financially he is struggling and admitted this. I think he is a bit envious that the children and I am coping so well, even though he is a CEO of a major corp he must now service all these remote areas. He does not look happy at all. He does not have that DIHL look any longer but that roarous laughter and joyous person is gone.<p>I ended the meeting, he walked me to my car, was very concerned that I get home safely and for a moment he had this hesitant look in his face like wanting to hug me. Thanked me for having such a nice evening and I drove off. I watched him in the rear view mirror and he walked face down.<p>With the emotional factor gone, I could go home and process the discussion we had. Strangely, I had no tender feelings for him it was more like being with a friend. Am I losing my love for him, I don't know.<p>Today, I feel great. No, I should of said this or that or trying to analyse his last word. I feel that I am truly moving on.

Good for you!!!!!<p>Me and my ex had 6 months "no contact" too....then we dated 9 months and remarried!!!!! Not that that would happen in your situation or even if you would want that BUT I know how you feel and it feels good...to know we can be happy without them...and to know that they obviously do care even though they put us through the wringer and at one point we were so confused and wondered IF they would EVER feel remorse. It just feels good because THEN you KNOW they aren't a monster, they are just human and made a HUGE mistake and they DO pay for it.

atleast you guys get a second chance, my H filed for D, we had no contact for 8 months, no sign from him, doesn't call or anything, i heard OW is now living with him, in what was our home, i have my daughter about to turn one year next week, i sent him an invitation, but no response to that either. anyway, pray for me, i want to save my mariage, but don't know how. i live with my parents in a different state. anyway, I pray everyday, no signs yet. i don't want this divorce to take place.

Thanks for the response:

Nezi, I know how you feel. I have also been through that. Invited H to 3yo and 9yo birthday party he did not even bother to reply.

He has now moved 950kilometers away from us to another city and I truly believe now his problems is really going to start.

In my case my WS avoided me completely. He did not even acknowledge me. This was difficult because he was always such a caring and loving H.

I believe that whatever is going wrong in his life now is God's way of reminding him where he comes from.

I pray without ceasing. The day my WS spoused phoned me to arrange a meeting I was busy singing "His able, his able I know my Lord is able" and the phone rang.

Keep on praying but also change, change, change.

In the meantime I had found out that OW was in other city when WS and I had dinner. Is the wheel changing. For the first time that she was not around, he used the opportunity to contact me.

It makes me wonder?????????????????

He contacted you because they are like an drug addicted or alcholic, take away the OM/OW and they sober up for just for a moment and peak from around the delusion realizing the mess they are in.

Wow, things are looking up, aren't they! No Contact has helped you detatch, and you were able to get together at your best. He looked at you with fresh eyes. You are "getting on with your life" and doing quite well. He's getting a healthy and bitter dose of reality with the OW. You didn't sink like a rock when he let you go. You were a treasure and it sounds like he sees it now - or is going to.

Like Everlasting Compassion said, your STBX is like an addict. The OW is a toxic substance but a substance nonethless. She's expensive (so is dope) She's also inferior. He's peeking back at what he left, it's probably hitting him that he did something really stupid.

Dinner was supposed to last 20 minutes, but it went on for 3 hours? Wow, you must really be something! Of course, there was no sex, no physical contact, just the lure of being with you. Do you have any idea how devastating this is to his OW? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> He is in an EA with his wife. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I enjoyed reading your post, and I know that his attitude toward you now is balm for your soul.

Thanks for the replies:-

Since posting the last time I've taken a well deserved break from work for a week and spend my time exploring our country.

I've had a few hiccups with WH, who after the dinner date then felt free to tell me that he could not afford to pay C/S,neither could he fetch the children on the arranged date. I told him I understand but he will have to make arrangements on his side as I had planned this holiday months in advance. I left everything in his hands and throughout the day he phoned telling me "I don't know what to do" and my answer was just "I understand but I am not cancelling. I even had the guts to suggest that OW takes a couple of days leave to look after our kids, knowing she will not do it". He just went quite nothing like "I will ask her".
I let him take responsibility for his actions. Finally, he called back to say he had found and au pair to look after our kids.

As far as the C/S goes. I am taking him to court. I must protect myself and my children. I still love this man deeply but I will not allow him to walk all over me neither play around with my emotions.

As for the addiction, typical alcoholic behaviour WH did not fool me, he was looking for simpathy but there was nothing forth coming from me. Been there, done that will not get burnt again.

I think I am starting the master the game now, amazing how the game have changed.

Never think that your WAH is having a ball of a time on the other side. Life will give them their fair share of problems.

WH and OW who for the past year has had so many holdays together that I've lost count and I had to work throughout this traumantic period in my life without a break.

Well, I've just heard from WH that he was refused leave at work, OW also could not take leave as she has be relocated to a new deptm so they had to arrange holiday care for our kids and her kids.
Let them feel what every day reality is for me and her ex/h.

He sounds miseralble but I am smiling........... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />