I know in my heart that I am doing the right thing by filing first in order to protect my baby but I don't know how he is going to respond. He is one that asked for the divorce but I filed first on the recommendation of my Attorney.

I keep thinking that if I hold off on serving him for one more week that I can continue living in this house just the way that I am but I guess I am putting off the inevitable. I want the court to give me full custody of my one year old son and the house but I don't know if I can stay in the house.

If my husband refuses to give me the house in the settlement, would I have to buy him out to stay here? I don't have the money to buy him out. I really don't want to live with my parents but if I have to until I get enough money saved up to get an apartment then I guess that is what I have to do.

It is taking me a lot of courage to serve him but I can't live like this anymore and he definitely wants to end it. I guess I am just looking for support that I am doing the right thing.

Hi Baby,
Have you discussed with your attorney that you want to keep the house? Has he/she told you your options?

In my state it goes a number of ways.

1- House sold, equity split

2- Custodial parent retains residence in house, makes mortgage payments, and upon an established time period, cusodial parent has to buy the x spouses share of home. Generally this persons share of the equity stops at the time of the separation or divorce. The time period can be a short one, one that gives the custodial parent time to secure financing, all the way to when the youngest child turns 18, or even longer if the children goes to college. This is all determined at some point in the divorce process.

3- a different version of #2, Custodial retains residence of home, makes mortgage payments, and upon the youngest child turning 18 or going to college ( also dependent upon divorce agreement), home is sold at that time, and equity is split according to terms of the divorce settlement.

After he is served, does he have to vacate the home? How much time does he have to do this from the time he is served?

I would have him served before he is served. Don't worry about his reaction. He is the one who told you that he wanted out. He is staying and trying to force you to leave. If you leave, you abandoned the home, and I dont' know how that affects your property rights.

Talk to a lawyer. You need to stop being so scared of what he is going to do.

He cannot force you out of the house. The property will be divided by equitable distribution.

You need to call the lawyer when you have questions. Stop letting him panic you! You won't be able to think straight if you keep worrying about what he is going to do.

Just try to focus on, you are getting a divorce, keeping the house you stay in and your baby.

Baby
How is it going

Thanks for asking Sue!

This being 9/11 I'm a little down in the dumps. I had to turn off the tv because I couldn't watch any more of the memorials. Made me too sad.

Tomorrow I meet with the Attorney to sign the petition. I guess once I sign it, he will be served. I am a little nervous about it, not because I'm not sure I am doing the right thing but because I am afraid of what is going to happen next. Can he force me out of the house?

Not that I know. But these things vary from state to state. If I recall correctly, my H would be the one to leave. When you meet with your attorney you need to have this discussion. Let her/him know you want him out.