Tomorrow is my 22nd wedding anniversary. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> There is nothing to celebrate <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> and I can't pretend. WH isn't home anyway.

Last year, WH made this big deal about having to be home (Came in from out of state) for our anniversary and then we never did anything. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> He asked me to go get takeout & as soon as he finished eating, went upstairs & watched TV then fell asleep. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> It wasn't long after dday 1.

For the most part, I'm doing really well and then something like this triggers sadness and memories of last year.

This year, I'll probably go to an alanon meeting. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I know, I will get thru this with God's grace and the people on this board. Thanks for "listening" to me vent

<small>[ November 01, 2002, 11:30 AM: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</small>

You will get thru this!!!! I have!!! Was on my own for 18 STBXH was remote for the AF, 19 he was TDY for the AF, 20 we were living together but seperated, left a card in his car and he asked me to go out to dinner and then he repeatedly told me how he didn't love me and this seperation and divorce was the best and the kids would be ok. 21 I was totally on my own, did send an e mail to STBXH saying how I didn't want this and how he had sucked most of our marriage. Still aren't divorced yet. I made it thru by making the day what I wanted it to be!!!

You too will make it!!!

Dawn

Dear WillGetThruThis:

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((WillGetThruThis))))))))))))))))))))

<small>[ November 01, 2002, 12:31 PM: Message edited by: Not My Will, But Thy Will Be Done ]</small>

WGTT,
I know triggers like this bring memories and it's sad. You'll get through this. Share the date significance at the AlAnon mtg; they'll understand too, and you'll be among people who can reach out to you in person.

Blessings to you!

((((((((((((((((((((((WGTT)))))))))))))))))

I have my 11th anniversary coming up in ten days, and I don't know how I feel about it. Last year we were separated, and he didn't acknowledge it in any way. It was a painful day, but I did get through it. I know you will too.

Why not do something really nice for yourself...get a facial, manicure, the works! Or get some friends together and go see a movie, have dinner, etc. Create new memories for the day...yes I know your old ones will be there forever but being good to yourself may help you get through it.

Love and light,

Jacky

Thanks everyone for responding

I won't be able to go to my alanon meeting - we are down to one car & my D needs to go to class.
So my plan b for the day is to go to a community dinner at a nearby church and then to an open AA meeting.

I did go to mass this morning (All Saints Day) and got some hugs there.

The weather is gorgeous today, I may just go sit on my back porch & watch nature do it's thing.

God Bless,

D.

OK
A little off subject here, but why are the margins on this thread so much farther to the right than on any other?

WGTT, is it a MB birthday gift to acknowledge how special you are? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Your hugs are bigger than I've ever seen them in a post!

WGTT, I hope that your day was OK. I went to Mass this morning, too, and it really helped me to feel better.

WGTT and avondale, the reasons the margins were messed was because of my big hug to WGTT. I made it a little smaller so the margins are fixed and maybe WGTT can breathe now!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WGTT, I hope that your day was OK. I went to Mass this morning, too, and it really helped me to feel better.

WGTT and avondale, the reasons the margins were messed up was because of my big hug to WGTT. I made it a little smaller so the margins are fixed and maybe WGTT can breathe now!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hi WGTT,
My hugs are not going to top all the ones you already have gotten... but here goes.
((((((((((((((((((((WGTT))))))))))))))))))))
My prayers are with you. As everyone has stated... "You Will Get Through This"!
My time is coming up in the not too distant future, so I can only imagine what you might be feeling.
I would try to be with good friends and family on this day if you can.
Blessing to you always.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

(((((((mega big hugs))))))))

I had first anniversary separated this year. It was indeed awful but I went out that night w/the girls. It helped and I vented alot. I agree with all here. Do something for you. Prayers.

I got to go the the alanon meeting afterall with a friend who drove me. We got there late, but it didn't matter. It was exactly what I needed today. There was another woman there that I had never met who has been DV 5 years from her alcoholic WH & we both hit it off like we were old friends.

So it was you NMWBTWBD that made the margins big! I wondered & thought it was my computer - I actually I thought what else could go wrong (had 2 flat tires this week on the same vehicle and lots of petty crap that I am tired of dealing with but know I just keep moving forward & do the best I can)

It's funny (not really) but I got thru dday much easier than I thought but this has hit me harder than I expected)

Thanks for all the hugs, prayers and support. It means so much to be able to come here for all of this.

Tonight I'm going to a community spagetti dinner with some ddown home folks, just the kind of thing my grandmother used to take me to when I was a kid. Then on to an open AA meeting where I will see lots of people I know & get lots more hugs.

Blessings to all of you!

D.

WGTT -

I hope that your evening went well, despite the calendar date.

Those triggers are tough to get through I know, but God is there, wrapping His loving arms around you and He will give you the strength to get through this pain.

Keep telling yourself - You Will Get Through This. And you just won't just barely get through this - you will be carried through this into an incredibly happy new life.

You have endured so much and have been so brave. You may not even know your own strength, but it's there and it will sustain you through any rocky times ahead.

May God Bless You Today and Always, K

Thanks everyone,

I did go the the community dinner & really did enjoy myself. Then decided to stay home with the kids since I'm going out tomorrow night.

I'm sad because I keep letting go of the love in my heart little by little. It's a painful process. It just doesn't go away all at once. A part of me wished he would call and another part of me is glad he didn't.

God Bless,

D.