My wife and I are committed to our marriage, but it is becoming increasingly tenable for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the pain I suffer when making love and my wife's inability to control how hard she clamps down on me with her vaginal muscles during orgasm or even without one, as if trying to hold me in her, she thinks. She suffers some vaginismus beforehand, which I can generally ease well enough to make entry, but then she will tighten at some unexpected point, making it very painful for me. She claims not to feel any pain, and, until recently, seems unaware what she does. This problem has persisted for the 12 years of our marriage, at first making it at times impossible for me to enter her, almost leaving me impotent. I have, since we met, had two surgeries for spermatacil cysts--one previous to that--and one hernia repair; so this area is susceptible to being affected by pain. I also suffer from fibromyalgia, which attacks this sensitive area. For the last two years I have taken Viagra with excellent results for me but it has not made a difference in my wife's spasms; although she has liked the easier entry and staying power I've regained. We have been looking for ways to alleviate this problem but as yet have not been able to afford counselling for it. My previous wife, in the last months before I left her, punished me by tightening on me so hard as to cause severe pain, thus repelling me from her. This has left its effect on me. We would like to know what we could do until we can afford counselling and the dilation procedure, if that's needed.

Wow. <P>Hopefully someone with some medical knowledge will chime in. Unfortunately isn't me.<P>Wonder if the spasms would calm if you bring your W to orgasm before attempting actual intercourse?<P>Laura

Have you sought medical advice? Seems like her gyn & your urologist might be the place to start...<P>Wish I had more insight for you...<P>Good luck--<P>Kathi

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lucks:<BR><B>Wow. <P>Hopefully someone with some medical knowledge will chime in. Unfortunately isn't me.<P>Wonder if the spasms would calm if you bring your W to orgasm before attempting actual intercourse?<P>Laura</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yes, I do often bring her to orgasm one or two times without intercouse, yet it seems not to make much difference during intercourse, and she can orgasm again then.<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by faithlove:<BR><B> Yes, I do often bring her to orgasm one or two times without intercouse, yet it seems not to make much difference during intercourse, and she can orgasm again then.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Thank you. Yes, a talk with her gynocolgist might be helpful. I don't think she has discussed it with her doctors. I have with mine, but they offer little help.<P>

hi just wondering have you seek medical help for your problem....needless to say if not have you wonder if the reason your wife is tighten up is because maybe you are to heavy or have too big of a penis...maybe it hurts her in that way... or maybe also you guys has not been having sex for quite a while and she closes up.... that could happen too..usually that happens also and you mention viagra how old are the both of you sometime in old age , well i'm just advising a little but sometime in old age things shrinks up and makes it difficult for the women to be pleasured... think about it and keep us posted we will be happy to hear from you.....<P>------------------<BR>liz

<small>[ January 27, 2005, 04:35 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>