I know I complain about my stbx and how mine will probably end in irreconcilable situation. I know that. But doesn't mean I don't pray for otherwise for all my friends and for my stbx to turn around one day too. But I have a HUGE PRAISE HERE GUYS...ALL OF YOU WHO PRAY FOR RECONCILIATION AND FREEDOM FROM THE PAIN OF AFFAIRS HERE IS A SUCCESS STORY.

Note: I never posted about my friend b/c I hoped she would read the mb topics. She probably is btw.

One of my best girlfriends in the world from back home got married about a year and a half ago. I was barely separated from Deucey at the time of her wedding and God's grace allowed me to be there for her that day and sing the Lord's Prayer at their wedding. My son was hilarious as the ring bearer, but that is an entirely different story.

Anyway, they had always lived in different cities, she and her now xH. Never together nor had they had any real time spent together before marriage. She was always scared of the fact she'd have to do as I did and move away from her family here to GA after the wedding with no support from family. She just I think saw my plight and it frightened her. For those who don't know my story, I was married a few years, moved here with stbx and built out dream house only to have all hopes crash down as I found out he'd been in an affair a long time w/a woman I call ms. monkey. Moved out of my dream house and filed for divorce at end of last year. Jan. 4 makes one whole year on my own!

Anyway, they married and like those who aren't used to sharing space with someone else they had arguements. Also they had only shared "magical weekends" together and it was soemwhat of a fantasy as no real life day to day cares had settled into their lives.

She had always been attracted back home to this really suave businessman who also liked her immensley. At their wedding, he had sent in all the champagne (very expensive) and cried as she came down the aisle. I must admit it worried me as I know the signs of fog. About six months into their marriage, my friend informed me that she was secretly in love with this other guy. That her H was not the man she thought he was. This other guy flew her to NY, wined and dined her and made her think he was promising her the world. Did everything that Deucey has done basically with his other women btw. But this guy was single and had even been in the limelight very prominently back home. So he is a very eligible bachelor. He wouldn't make any public display with her as he didn't want his IMAGE TO BE TARNISHED SEEING A MARRIED WOMAN. Of course, I encouraged my friend that she was just living a fantasy with this guy b/c of her no longer fantasy with her new H. Things fell apart with her and her H. He was becoming more angry with her and short all the time. I didn't feel comfortable enough telling him about this site as I was not very close to her H. Plus how do you come right out and say that "your W is having an affiar?". So instead I just silently encouraged her to do the right thing. They did go to counseling but one night they had a huge bang up fight with one another because she was flying in every other weekend (said it was because of her job. She'd fly in and work a day, check into a hotel room and then go stay the whole weekend w/other man)and he just said that either she could live as his wife or get out.

She got out. They separated and he filed for divorce. I was very saddened. But as all affairs do, they run their course like a virus.

She moved back home after securing a job w/same corporation there. Moved into her own apartment. Then started seeing OM all the time. They did everything together. But he didn't do the one thing--commit. He would keep her on a string. Sure he was no longer the OM now but didn't do anything like he promised to do. And she found out he had been seeing his old flame in another state also. Crash! The fantasy was falling apart. Plus here was lil
old me telling her all the while that it was going to happen. That I wanted her to be happy but it wasn't going to happen with this guy. That when OM/OW is in the picture, it is all just a crock of lies. When you build on quicksand, it's gonna fall. No real foundation. Here he was this OM lying to her and to his other girlfriend. The guy was a confirmed bachelor and likes living la vida loca. He is a Deucey wanna be basically.

Their divorce was final in november. Very sad for her. She actually cried. Then one day she woke up. The fog began to lift a bit. She realized that this guy was no substance. She wanted a committment and was still emotionally in love with the guy and having sex with him but was beginning to see that it would end no where. And then I just encouraged her to start going to church again. She did. And then the miracles began to happen!!!!!

I kept praying. One day she calls me and says that she'd picked a day on the calendar and if the OM didn't do something drastic by that day, it was finished. I said good for her. Then she started suddenly realizing that SHE DIDN'T GIVE HER MARRIAGE A CHANCE. That when it got tough, she resisted even harder b/c of her affair. That she had actually caused the divorce. It was the same rationalizations that my stbxH has used. The same exact ones for not working at all to save M. She began to feel lonely. Last night she called me and was feeling really down. She had decided her New Year resolution was to stop seeing OM completely. He had let her down for the last time and had flown off to visit his other girlfriend for the new year. Betrayal stinks doesn't it???lol... She felt a bit of how her H felt I can tell you. She called me about an hour and a half before midnight (I was at home having a kid party with my son) and she was soooo down. At midnight she called me and was at a party given at a local country club with her new church singles group. She wished me happy new year.

That was the first miracle.

During the night I had a very vivid dream. She hadn't discussed her H with me in almost a month so I am not sure why I dreamed it. She calls me this morning to say that one of her resolutions was to get "with God in my life". She said she'd been feeling really down last night and an hour before the party started, a person from the church called her out of the blue at 10 pm (what re the odds of this happening ok?) and invited her to the party. She had just been praying that God would give her some sign. There it was. Anyway during the night I had a really wierd and vivid dream. A good one. I dreamed son and I went over to she and her XH's new home together. I didn't know if they were remarried or were just good friends though. They had moved into an attractive townhome with large windows I remember. When she called this morning I told her about my dream out of the blue. She said something next that made me have CHILLS DOWN MY SPINE. She said that about 3 am her xH called her. They talked most of the night about how they had failed each other and RECONCILIATION!!!!

SHE IS REALLY GOING TO TRY! She has made plans to fly in here in about two more weeks and will spend a few days here at my house visiting with son and I and then will take off for a romantic weekend with her xH to try to reconcile and begin anew! And you can bet I will give them HNHN as a starter. Are you all excited or what??? Some do leave the fog. But there needs to be one who is steadfast and committed near the foggy ones ok?

I am so happy that this new year has started with one of my hugest prayer requests already granted me by God! That a marriage would be restored! It is sooo good!

Please remember that the fog will lift on some of them. It will lift on all of them but maybe not in time for marriages to be saved though. But should some of you be blessed by a fog lifting, remember these hints: they need a supportive person who will support their decision to reconcile to be in their midst if it is to be successful. I am committed to helping and being only positive as a factor to this couple. I am praying too. Please pray for them ok? Pray for T and J to restore their marriage. Divorce isn't always the end!

Peachy,

That is a heart warming story. I will pray for them and you as they go thru what they have to go thru.

I pray for a friend of mine as well who is an OW and still thick in the fog. Her MM called me back in Sept and I told him about this site but have no idea if he reads it or not. He said he didn't know why he called me & I just said that it was God that lead him.

Happy New Year!

D.

<small>[ January 01, 2003, 03:48 PM: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</small>

Great story Peachy. I am so excited for your friend. I am glad you were there to encourage her to try and save the marriage. Both WS and BS need that kind of encouragement when the time comes. Someone telling you it isn't worth it or it isn't going to work is never good in my opinion.

I pray that this will be the first of many marriages we see restored on here.

Love in Christ
cajunky

Hi NotPeachy! Wonderful, thank you for sharing with us!! If THIS story isn't an inspiration and a Hope for all BSs, then I don't know what is. Thank you again, Peachy. May God bless you and your Son this New Year!!!
Harold

Peachy,

Truly amazing-definately a God thing! He is Lord! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks Sauron and Ezra.

You are such good friends. Yes, God is working. He will speak loudly for some of us and for others probably like me, he will just whisper quietly to my soul.

Oh, my buddy has actually thought about what she will wear if they get remarried? Isn't that a positive nudge in the right direction? She wanted some ideas from me. So I am ALL ENCOURAGEMENT IN MARRIAGE AND OF COURSE FASHION! LOL