Hello all! I have been here before, about two years ago. I have been seperated for 1.5 years and our divorce was final October 18th 2001. A little sad as the ex and I went out last weekend, but under so very disturbing cicumstances. It seems that she has been dating (okay with me, I have), and seems this guy has been stalking. She calls me over and ask me to "talk" to him. He is a barfly (funny, she left me for my drinking) and has been showing up often and late at night with my kids there. I told her I would. She calls back later and says she wants to do something that same night. I asked why and she said she wanted to. So we met and went out with some old friends. Had some fun, however, she was really upset with her girlfriend flirting with me. I have known her girlfriend for many years and we are nothing but friends. Someone I knew asked for my number for help with some computer issues, so I write my number on a napkin and give it to them. She grabs me and asked me "who are you giving your number to?" angrily. I said to that GUY over there who wants some help with a computer problem. Anyway, we go back and end up having sex, crying, her telling me she and I are soulmates and she misses me. I miss her and have always said we were soulmates. However, I have been content with the fact that it is over. Now all of this. The next morning she cooks breakfast and it went okay. I took the kids to church and now I feel like a piece of crap. She has closed up, wont talk and is COLD. However, her list of things for me to help her with grows. I told her I felt used and she said that wasnt true - that she needed me and I was there. Am I missing something here? I thought we were divorced? Anyway, I know it is a bit broken, but I am out of sorts right now. Any ideas?

Sounds like she needs to grow up.

Well sounds to me like she is having second thought, but you are content with your new life.

If you do not want to help her tell her so, set the boundaries. She is not your wife any longer, and has no right to ask you who you give your number to.

As an aside, although it is a very important point....you should not have had sex with her, because it was clear to you that she was being a bit too close BEFORE the act. So, without being nasty, weren't you using her a little bit?

Yes. Grow up. At this point, I think to a certain extent, we both should. We have 3 wonderful children who need TWO parents who are emotionally and spiritually positive for them. Hi Nina! You are right, I guess I kind of did user her. I dont think that was too gentlemanly of me. I shall apologize for not setting the boundary. Second thoughts! Hmmmmmmm. I have this sneaking suspicion that things will just go back to the way they were - unfortunately