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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 44
Member
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Member
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 44 |
Its been 2 years now my W walked away. Months down the line during our S she became close to Co-worker.. We should have been D 11 months ago. I have not seen W for 2 months and she said she will never come back as she is too scared to... old ways that pushed her away might return and she wouldn't feel "safe". She is grieving so much for the loss of our R. Says also that she is still angry and hurting.
My question is to WAW. Have you ever been in my W position where your S pushed you away and you felt unloved. Your needs were being met by OM? But inside you were still hurting yet you still had feelings for your spouse BUT were being held back by the "reasons" you left in the first place and the "fear" of his bad ways returning and that now you had gotten intimate with OM if you did return your spouse would not love you the same way and maybe get his own back?
So you stay with OM. And although you miss him, can't get your ex out of your head after all this time you think its best to let him go and let him move on. You want him to be happy. Having said all this, maybe 'cos you still had feelings for your ex like I have mentioned above you know its not fair on OM who has been a rock, there for you and made you feel "safe", However, you know he is not for you long term, no matter that he has offered you the earth.
You break it off and he goes his way. Not easy if you still work together.
So you are on your own. You are still in contact with your ex. Gradually you become close friends and maybe (no strings) you go out maybe to the cinema. You see major changes in him and months down the line you fall back in love with him...
WAW have your deep feelings for your ex ever been buried? 'Cos of the hurt and anger. Eventually the dormant feelings for your ex resurfaced?
Am I getting this question across? lol <small>[ February 17, 2003, 01:27 PM: Message edited by: smileysmile ]</small>
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