my WH wants a D. i dont want one!!!

Why don't you want one? You deserve to be loved. Most of all, you need to love yourself. Love yourself enough to hold your head high right now, even if you are dying on the inside. Give him what he wants, but when he realizes what a mistake it was to leave someone as remarkable and fantastic as you let him know that he already had his chance. Mine is going to realize the same one day very soon, and I will not be thee to hold his hand. They will both realize that they had everything with us and what fools they were.

kuljey,
Don;t give him one. If he wants it, he can get one with or without you.

Read up on Plan A & MB Principles.

NotMyself.
Why don't you believe in anything Marriage Buildres? Why are you telling kuljey to get a divorce? Are you gonna support her?

kuljey,

There is nothing wrong with not wanting a divorce.
Why would you want on? Divorce hurts all involved.
Chris is right, don't give up on him. But, you do need to let him go. Don't beg him or try to talk him into staying. Just let go and let God take care of it.

Chris is also right about him being able to get a divorce without you. My husband filed for divorce almost 3 years ago. When I was trying to stop him or the divorce, he kept pushing for the divorce more. When I let go and stopped fighting it things got better. I am still not divorced and little by little we have rebuilt our relationship. We never agreed to work things out. I just stopped trying to talk him out of it and let it go. I showed him kindness even when I didn't want to. We even go to church together now and do things together all the time. I never ask him about the divorce. He would have to file again at this point.

I found my hope here www.restorem.org
It takes time, things didn't get this way over night and they will not be fixed over night.

There is nothing wrong with wanting your marriage. We all do bad things at times and we all make mistakes. We have to learn to forgive.Just because someone hurts us doesn't give us the right to hurt them back. I know that most will disagree with me on this but, God has shown me different. We must forgive to be forgiven.

gentle

There is nothing wrong with wanting your marriage. We all do bad things at times and we all make mistakes. We have to learn to forgive.Just because someone hurts us doesn't give us the right to hurt them back. I know that most will disagree with me on this but, God has shown me different. We must forgive to be forgiven.

gentle

I'm printing this out and putting it on my wall.Very well said <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

kuljey:

The best thing you can do if you don't want a divorce, is pretend you DO want one. There's an interesting & helpful book, "STOP your DIVORCE" that I could send you if you supply your e-mail adress next time 'round.

It's like reverse psychology, which resembles Plan B on MB principles here. Some practical things you can do.
In the meantime, don't be needy & heartbroken around him.Be happy.

muzohead

i write this and i am sad. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

i know the big divorce is what he wants right now. i am holding on that he is in the fog and may come out.

kuljey@aol.com

wouldl luv to read stop your divorce..also in a no fault state!!